One word: LOVE — It’s ingrained in my mind and heart and guides my thinking, everyday.
But for some singles, it can feel like a hard word. Which can actually be good for you, as it can give cause to stop, pause and think, “Love”. Even when it’s hard and feels almost unattainable like a pie-in-the-sky kind of emotional crutch, in your world.
Which is why I’m thankful in knowing in no uncertain terms what love looks like.
Here’s what I have learned;
Sometimes love looks like waiting,
Sometimes love looks like listening,
Sometimes love makes us uncomfortable,
Sometimes love is exhausting.
And yet LOVE continues toward the purpose it was given.
If you have been dating someone new for a while now, and your relationship is getting serious as the holidays approach–so you ask–they agree–you suddenly PANIC!
Meeting the parents is a nerve-wracking experience for everyone, but it also means your relationship is going great! While you are thrilled to be in love and share the holidays, its normal to feel hesitant thinking about all the family dynamics, quirks and history shared back at home.
Before you go try to remember:
Your family will be thrilled to see you and they are likely also just as excited, nervous, and somewhat cautious.
If your family members don’t react to your new love the way you had expected, try to cut them some slack.
Ease up on expectations, prep your partner and family as much as you can ahead of time and relax into the season with those you love.
Do you have a holiday dating experience that you would like to share with us? Go on, then, tell us in the comments section below.
https://i0.wp.com/www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/xmas-couple-holding-hands.jpg?fit=650%2C433&ssl=1433650Jane Carstenshttp://www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/mm4h.pngJane Carstens2022-11-23 14:20:382022-11-23 14:20:38Take Me Home for the Holidays
Like all people, we are deserving of love and connection. Here are a couple things to keep in mind for anyone wanting to avoid the so-called, real life “Tinder Swindler” while navigating the world in today’s dating.
Experiences have taught me that practiced too early on (before trust and a foundation have been established), excessive written contact between a potential partner can fuel the engine of fantasy relationships. We often fill in the missing spaces and unknowns with our own details. This can lead to feeling letdown when the in-person counterpart fails to match up to whatever idealized version our mind has concocted. For instance, in writing and on the phone, maybe you bonded over what you thought was a shared passion for dogs. But then, in person, it becomes apparent that their interest is only passing and half-hearted and that they only volunteered at a shelter once.
It’s human nature to be more likely to think the best about someone and mold them into who we want them to be rather than see them for who they really are. Do yourself a favour and know that it’s basically a fantasy story that can only backfire for us down the road.
https://i0.wp.com/www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/distant-couple-looking-at-each-other.jpg?fit=767%2C511&ssl=1511767Jane Carstenshttp://www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/mm4h.pngJane Carstens2022-02-25 12:51:572022-02-25 13:29:28Be Aware of Fantasy Relationships
It’s an everyday occurrence that we come across a great Single that’s too good not to share!
You might be thinking…. dating ?!?!? Yet you have likely recognized in your clearest moments that there is a greater possibility for finding love, despite your best efforts. And, like so many of the singles I speak to simply struggle with trying to solve it on their own with no results. But don’t worry. There is no secret, we only introduce you to great people and we do it everyday for our clients.
This is where this great client living in Victoria BC, comes in. We have been working with her hand-in-hand and know she is truly a gem. She is a slim, blue-eyed blonde with a combination of good looks, enthusiasm, and is truly an amazing woman. She exudes a fun demeanor and romantic playfulness; is a wine-lover, foodie, loves live music, handholding and living a balanced, relaxed, healthy life. Her workout clothes are next to her little black dress, and her boots are next to her heels and retired early she makes her home in both Alberta with more time living in Victoria. She’s a history buff, sees personal investment management as a hobby, and is a strong believer in giving back to her communities.
If you are an active, fit, 60+ gent with an easy laid-back vibe who is more about spending time together enjoying the variety of what a VICTORIA lifestyle has to offer, sharing adventure, travel, and lively conversations; we can’t imagine your life without her in it.
https://i0.wp.com/www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/types-of-little-black-dresses-Oct192020-1-min.jpg?fit=1000%2C667&ssl=16671000Jane Carstenshttp://www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/mm4h.pngJane Carstens2021-09-30 15:33:402021-09-30 14:45:57I Want You to Meet Someone
Forget masks, social distancing, or being vaccinated the real issue stopping you meeting the love of your life might just be your politics.
Reporting from the dating frontline, we can attest the politicization of dating is real , especially during an election. And, according to the clients we work with 50% believe its important to stay informed about politics and that they could not date someone who has strong political opinions that are the opposite of theirs. Good to know!
If politicization means dating results in meaningful moments between people with actual feelings, personal I’m all for it. However, getting to know someone on a first date should be fun and light-hearted involving banter and flirting and you can learn a lot about someone that doesn’t involve their political identity.
Are you looking for the love of your life and what do you think ?
https://i0.wp.com/www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/politics.jpg?fit=480%2C247&ssl=1247480Jane Carstenshttp://www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/mm4h.pngJane Carstens2021-09-21 14:49:552021-09-21 14:49:55Why Dating has always been (very) Political
There is no secret in finding the right partner (we do it everyday)!
Thanks so much to hosts Robin Farrell & Chelsea Smith on their very popular Vancouver Island hosted podcast “Don’t Mind if We Do”. Come join us. There is always room for one more at their table and we shared a lot of laughs and fun chatting ways on how to take the guesswork out of finding your person in the landscape of todays dating.
Need some help or know someone who does? Send them the link below and have a listen. Episode 9 “Matchmaker Matchmaker…Make me a Match!”
For those of us less fortunate enough not to be in a relationship, the coming of Christmas can present a challenge. Let’s be honest; whether you care about your single status or not listening to relatives probing about our dating life can be draining, as can finding a home for the mountain of small amusing gifts coming your way. For example, being in receipt of wall art or badass affirmations books and you immediately file it under a mental tab marked: Single at Christmas, again – sorted.
But there is a solution; And it’s simple –Give a gift of something to someone who needs it– Choose Love.
So, don’t shut out the idea of helping someone find love –give them a real present of love. This week, we have had several calls from people who realize that waiting patiently to let love find you does not have to be the case and this Christmas we are helping caring friends and family buy loved ones appropriate and indulgent matchmaking membership gifts, the thing that someone single actually needs; to go from single to taken!
Presents for single people truly in need; a solution to your Christmas shopping- It’s what we do.
Since you’re here, give us a call to find out more! [email protected]
https://i0.wp.com/www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/xmas-single-taken-buttons.jpg?fit=456%2C640&ssl=1640456Jane Carstenshttp://www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/mm4h.pngJane Carstens2018-12-04 13:48:132018-12-04 16:57:24Give real gifts of love this Christmas
We are in that small window of opportunity where it’s still semi-acceptable to break up with someone before we get into the Holidays, but the window is quickly closing. You don’t want to be that person breaking up with someone before Christmas. Before you read this, I want you to think about the last time you were dumped or broke up with someone. I feel like 9 out of 10 times; there are some pretty visible signs that a split is coming. Maybe we see them and choose to ignore them, or perhaps we’re oblivious.
I found many articles on the signs your partner is about to leave you, but I think that there are a lot two pretty definitive ones. For most when they are about to end a relationship, they start changing or improving their physical appearance, or posts start disappearing like a bad habit on their social media accounts.
Dah! You should have seen that last break up coming a mile away. And if you’re in a relationship and you’re suddenly doing these things, perhaps it’s time to take a long, hard look at if this relationship is working for you. If you’re the one planning to do the dumping and you’re struggling with how to do it, you can always do it with ice cream. According to Vancouver based Nora’s Non-Dairy, “It’s a sweet but savage way to drop someone!”
Surprisingly forget Valentine’s Day, Halloween is the real festival of LOVE and according to psychologists they say that more people will hook up this weekend than on February 14th.
Why? Its all down to the science of fear and there is fairly good evidence that feeling afraid can trigger the same emotions as sexual arousal. It’s a good idea to take a date to a horror movie as its acceptable to snuggle into a prospective partner shielding your eyes and that feeling afraid heightens the senses and increases attractiveness and attraction. No wonder so many holidaymakers fall for their ski-instructors or mountain guides as its impossible to separate feelings of sexual attraction from feelings of fear. A hunky Whistler snow moose ready to help you down that scary black run, will make it so much the better.
I’m always telling my clients its important to do something that scares you every day to grow and feel fulfilled especially when it comes to dating. But this—well it’s likely to help your love life too.
https://i0.wp.com/www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/Scream-1-crop.jpg?fit=398%2C387&ssl=1387398Jane Carstenshttp://www.matchmakerforhire.com/wp-content/uploads/mm4h.pngJane Carstens2018-10-26 13:59:422018-10-26 13:59:42HALLOWEEN; The Real Holiday of LOVE
We have all heard the stories. First dates costing more than $2000 after spending months of online back and forth messaging, hours of late-night phone calls, and then finally booking a flight and deciding to meet. Such long-distance romances use to grow out of fateful encounters on holidays, or perhaps far-flung business meetings but today a growing number of cross-border courtships, some owed to an instant message across time zones, is becoming not about what to wear on your date— it’s what to pack!
Statistics show that 52% of Canadian on-line daters have e-mailed someone out of country in the past 30 days. I have also seen a spike in Matchmaking clients open to long-distance dating; after starting out searching within five miles of their postal code and as they get more comfortable they stop limiting themselves so much and more open to step outside the “border”.
This city’s only so big, and when the girl next door is no longer next door, its nice to open up the possibilities for my clients by working with other accredited “Cupids” from other cities. This summer I’ve relied on connections with fellow cupids from Seattle, San Fran, San Diego, New York, London UK and of course continue working with my fellow Canadian ones all the way east to Toronto with some great success.
That’s certainly the case for our affiliate Matchmaker friend Ali Migliore of Simply Matchmaking in Seattle. “There is definitely an infinite number of single people here open to dates from other cities and this summer, I knew I had to connect with Jane about an amazing client I had in Seattle who was open to expanding her search to the Vancouver area. By us both knowing our clients so well, we were able to come up with a great match and our clients met and both said it was the best match yet! Looking forward to dozens of more potential romances happening with the help of our cross-border cupids at Matchmaker for Hire.”
Of course, expectations are always heightened when a plane fare is actually involved and its easy to feel cheated if the romance doesn’t work out (this kind of dating isn’t for the faint of wallet) – plus there’s added pressure if it does. But for some, however the distance is a bonus and that not being around someone all the time can be ok if you are just as busy as they are.
So, if your tolerance to being uprooted is increased, let your Matchmaker know.
