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For those of us less fortunate enough not to be in a relationship, the coming of Christmas can present a challenge.   Let’s be honest; whether you care about your single status or not listening to relatives probing about our dating life can be draining, as can finding a home for the mountain of small amusing gifts coming your way.  For example, being in receipt of wall art or badass affirmations books and you immediately file it under a mental tab marked: Single at Christmas, again – sorted.

But there is a solution; And it’s simple –Give a gift of something to someone who needs it– Choose Love.

So, don’t shut out the idea of helping someone find love –give them a real present of love. This week, we have had several calls from people who realize that waiting patiently to let love find you does not have to be the case and this Christmas we are helping caring friends and family buy loved ones appropriate and indulgent matchmaking membership gifts, the thing that someone single actually needs; to go from single to taken!

Presents for single people truly in need; a solution to your Christmas shopping- It’s what we do.

Since you’re here, give us a call to find out more!  jane@matchmakerforhire.com

love ball and buttons  https://bigloveball.com/

We are in that small window of opportunity where it’s still semi-acceptable to break up with someone before we get into the Holidays, but the window is quickly closing. You don’t want to be that person breaking up with someone before Christmas. Before you read this, I want you to think about the last time you were dumped or broke up with someone. I feel like 9 out of 10 times; there are some pretty visible signs that a split is coming. Maybe we see them and choose to ignore them, or perhaps we’re oblivious.

I found many articles on the signs your partner is about to leave you, but I think that there are a lot two pretty definitive ones. For most when they are about to end a relationship, they start changing or improving their physical appearance, or posts start disappearing like a bad habit on their social media accounts.

Dah!  You should have seen that last break up coming a mile away. And if you’re in a relationship and you’re suddenly doing these things, perhaps it’s time to take a long, hard look at if this relationship is working for you. If you’re the one planning to do the dumping and you’re struggling with how to do it, you can always do it with ice cream. According to Vancouver based Nora’s Non-Dairy, “It’s a sweet but savage way to drop someone!”

Thank you, next……….

We have all heard the stories.  First dates costing more than $2000 after spending months of online back and forth messaging, hours of late-night phone calls, and then finally booking a flight and deciding to meet.  Such long-distance romances use to grow out of fateful encounters on holidays, or perhaps far-flung business meetings but today a growing number of cross-border courtships, some owed to an instant message across time zones, is becoming not about what to wear on your date— it’s what to pack!

Statistics show that 52% of Canadian on-line daters have e-mailed someone out of country in the past 30 days.  I have also seen a spike in Matchmaking clients open to long-distance dating; after starting out searching within five miles of their postal code and as they get more comfortable they stop limiting themselves so much and more open to step outside the “border”.

This city’s only so big, and when the girl next door is no longer next door, its nice to open up the possibilities for my clients by working with other accredited “Cupids” from other cities.  This summer I’ve relied on connections with fellow cupids from Seattle, San Fran, San Diego, New York, London UK and of course continue working with my fellow Canadian ones all the way east to Toronto with some great success.

That’s certainly the case for our affiliate Matchmaker friend Ali Migliore of Simply Matchmaking in Seattle.  “There is definitely an infinite number of single people here open to dates from other cities and this summer, I knew I had to connect with Jane about an amazing client I had in Seattle who was open to expanding her search to the Vancouver area.  By us both knowing our clients so well, we were able to come up with a great match and our clients met and both said it was the best match yet! Looking forward to dozens of more potential romances happening with the help of our cross-border cupids at Matchmaker for Hire.”

Of course, expectations are always heightened when a plane fare is actually involved and its easy to feel cheated if the romance doesn’t work out (this kind of dating isn’t for the faint of wallet) – plus there’s added pressure if it does.  But for some, however the distance is a bonus and that not being around someone all the time can be ok if you are just as busy as they are.

So, if your tolerance to being uprooted is increased, let your Matchmaker know.

 

Jane Carstens –Matchmaker for Hire- Western Cda                   

 Ali Migliore – Simply Matchmaking – Seattle

Meet Maria; She enjoys the freedom to meet her friends in the middle of the day, take Monday’s off and lives a great life in James Bay, Victoria. 

Because she believes so strongly that she needed a unique approach to find her soul mate, Maria was reluctant to try online.  Afraid she’d “sound desperate” and she didn’t want to sound like every other single person out there.  At the same time, it was difficult to find the one. Something had to change.

For her, Matchmaking was both authentic and compelling to finding the right one.

So here you go,  Meet Maria!  If you are a 60+ gent living on Vancouver Island  message me to find out more jane@matchmakerforhire.com

As seen in the Victoria Times Colonist – Sunday September 16th, 2018

 

Friday is GUY-day: Ladies and Gents we introduce you to our new series. #guydayfriday .This is my Victoria based client and he has a career in finance, is a traveler & coffee lover. Get to know him here and contact me to meet him;  jane@matchmakerforhire.com 

At every Olympics event you see a series of athletes battle it out for gold. But away from the track, the sporting heroes are also rumored to be competing for each other .  Sound Familiar?

Despite all your great intentions you feel you are continually falling short of your expectations and its’ negatively impacting you finding a love connection despite your willingness to have a relationship?

With the thousands of singles, we frequently meet we decided to analyse some of today’s dating behaviors and outline better winning performances that are needed to go the distance to be fearless in dating.  Nothing better than us bringing in the winning coach to help! Coach Rams’ approach breaks things down from a coach’s perspective and together we will define ways to help you apply it to a pursuit of LOVE.

Join me on Thursday October 12, 2017, 7-9pm, at our Vancouver Yaletown location.  Limited seats for the 1st of our complimentary Q&A series.

 

 

Meet Coach Ram Nayyar.  He has over 20 years + of it. –Canadian Olympic Coach and Best-Selling Author (The Sport of Life).  Coach Ram will show you that no matter what is stopping you, fearlessness is always the way forward.  He is an Olympic Level Coach and mentor, advisor and guide to elite and developing athletes, C-Suite Professionals and High-achieving learners, published author, motivational speaker and gifted storyteller; a unique blend of Western Practicality and Eastern Philosophy to drive an active process that helps his clients acknowledge, work through and ultimately overcome the fears that are holding them back from uncovering and achieving renewed motivations, success and happiness.

 

 

 

 

To concluded with some fun facts; surveys have  compared the success rate of pick-up lines at the games, revealing who won Gold, Silver and Bronze for their engaging chat up lines.

Scoring gold was Portugal. The most commonly used line was: “Hello, have I told you you’re a princess?”  

Spain took silver with the opening: “I’m sorry, but I could not resist your beauty.”

And USA took bronze, going with the line: “OMG, I’m speechless.”

Contact me, jane@matchmakerforhire.com  today to reserve a spot. We want you to succeed in dating!

 


Haters going to Hate; Anytime I tell someone I am a Matchmaker they immediately rattle off what they hate about dating!  I am no physiologist but I do know after 16 years of matching hooking up singles, everyone likes to complain.  Its not just Politics, bad Wi-Fi, people who celebrate their birthdays for entire week (unless its me), or for some, the Easter Bunny; it can be pretty unpopular.

Well there seems to be a lot to dislike, but then again, dislikes may be the first step to lasting love.  Studies have shown that people seem to come together around things they dislike.  It surprisingly brings people together.  While many other areas of compatibility come into play, its hard for me to relate that dislikes can be relied on for main criteria around connecting people. I match singles based on more in-depth compatibility profiling and is not just based on a simple check list of likes and dislikes.

So, can’t stand the Easter Bunny?  It’s that time of year that we all remember the horrible time your parents dragged you to the mall to sit on the lap of a creepy Easter Bunny. Chances are you remember, because you can never forget it! If you want to avoid that rabbits sugary dark side or head into Spring looking like an Easter egg, find someone similar that does not “do” the Easter bunny, right?

 

Birthdays! We all have them, most are hopefully happy- though some not, and we all enjoy celebrating birthdays with friends and family (mostly).

I recently celebrated a birthday.  Which one, I won’t tell, but it was a birthday! I don’t feel any older, but now its just another day where I have to remember to change the digit in my response when people ask how old I am.  But enough about my birthday…..it’s okay you didn’t send gifts. I’m over it Really! 🙂

So, what happens when you have a birthday during a date? Or someone has a birthday during the period of time you had just started dating?  Hmm…awkward…to celebrate such a personal occasion with someone you hardly know and it can seem more like walking up to some random friend-of-a-friend from Facebook and try to be part of their birthday party.

While it may seem like a strange question for some, it has happened several times for many with differing results.  Firstly, should you acknowledge the occurrence at all? If you didn’t have a clue and only found out that saves you from this quandary.  But if you DO know about your date’s birthday it would be a bit impolite not to recognize the occasion at all.

When in doubt, its invaluable to check. Most online profiles these days have birthdays’ there for anyone to see or you can flash you licence and obnoxiously point out your date of birth or better yet,  your date could have also mentioned the fact of their approaching birthday in passing. But the proper thing to do if it is your birthday is just tell your date (in a subtle way) and find it appropriate to recognize the birthday somehow.

Any one else have any interesting birthday related dating experiences?

 


Over the years in Matchmaking, I’ve had many women clients that wanted me to introduce them to firefighter; they wanted to date a fireman. While there are no shortages of eligible firefighters, I’m going to try to give you a few tips on how it can work.

  • For the vast majority of them, the job will understandably be their first love
  • They are boys, and the men they hang with have a huge impact on their lives and you will be at first dating him and his boys. Nothing worse than creating havoc in the team!
  • Don’t think you can change or turn him into your dream guy. These amazing men live in a world you cannot imagine, not just the “doing it” part but the whole lifestyle of a firefighter.
  • The easiest conversation is to have him talk about himself. Why is he a firefighter? What is the best part about the job? Has he ever been scared at a big call? Another warning don’t go deep here last thing you want to do trigger a memory.
  • Know that at some point you will be run by his crew, his buddies for a group evaluation. The best thing you can hope for is an invitation to visit the station and would love to see where he works, or ask if you might bring some cookies by the station.

If he jumps at the suggestion and offers a good time to do that you’re in! Firefighters are gentlemen and will always treat a lady with respect, remember this is not a good environment for wall flowers, but know that he will always take any chance to step in and rescue you!
This Saturday April 1, I am proud and honored to attend The Surrey Firefighters’ Society – Ignite a Dream Event with some very dear Firefighter friends in White Rock. The event aims to provide underprivileged children of Surrey with Educational Opportunities.  Get a ticket here and support a great cause!  https://surreyfirefighters.com/ignite/

And oh yes, I will be scouting!

In this conclusion of a two-part series and when we left off in Part 1, we were just getting into the brass tacks of what real love looks like.

Today, we’re going to finish off the balance of the qualities of what real love looks like but I want to serve up a warning; If you haven’t read Part 1 of this series (http://www.matchmakerforhire.com/what-real-love-looks-like-part-one-of-a-two-part-post/ ), you need to do that first. The complete picture always makes better sense.  Let’s dive in….

 

 

 

 

Companionship-  Is it Love or Companionship? It sure helps to have *somecommon interests and often when people first fall in love, they bond over that shared love of certain activities and mutual interests. Even if they are different from yours, you can start trying them, showing interest in them, asking to share your partner in doing them. If the other party really interested in you, he/she will automatically show an equal interest in your hobbies and interests.  Here begins the companionship! The way you listen also tells of the way you care for the other party. You are listening not out of an interest in the subject itself but out of concern for the other party.  If we all apply it, I guarantee our dating experiences will be completely different.

Respect –In relationships, respect may be even more crucial than love.  It is useful, I think, to compare and contrast parent-child relationships with partner to partner relationships.  In both of these, respect is absolutely essential for it to work. When a love interest expresses an idea, or asks a question, take it seriously and learn to let go of unsolicited advice. Listen up! Love without respect is dangerous; it can crush the other person, sometimes literally.

Openness – Is openness important in your relationships? I mean, being open with your partner 100% of the time.  No secrets, no lies, nothing. In my personal opinion, everyone is entitled to have something to keep for themselves.  And I don’t think the most intimate, private thoughts are necessary to share unless they’re relevant to your partner or your relationship. There are certain things you share, other thoughts you don’t.  So let me ask, why do most of us babble out every thought, every little thing they do and everything anyone says to them? How boring! That’s the kind of stuff you keep for Facebook! I don’t think that a one-size-fits all rule like “always be open” makes much sense. Building a relationship and growing trust, while each of you are growing individually, requires more than simplistic slogans.

 

“Real love may seem less exciting than our shiny fantasies, but it is a million times more worthwhile”