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Surprisingly forget Valentine’s Day, Halloween is the real festival of LOVE and according to psychologists they say that more people will hook up this weekend than on February 14th.

Why? Its all down to the science of fear and there is fairly good evidence that feeling afraid can trigger the same emotions as sexual arousal.   It’s a good idea to take a date to a horror movie as its acceptable to snuggle into a prospective partner shielding your eyes and that feeling afraid heightens the senses and increases attractiveness and attraction.  No wonder so many holidaymakers fall for their ski-instructors or mountain guides as its impossible to separate feelings of sexual attraction from feelings of fear. A hunky Whistler snow moose ready to help you down that scary black run, will make it so much the better.

I’m always telling my clients its important to do something that scares you every day to grow and feel fulfilled especially when it comes to dating. But this—well it’s likely to help your love life too.

 

 

 

We have all heard the stories.  First dates costing more than $2000 after spending months of online back and forth messaging, hours of late-night phone calls, and then finally booking a flight and deciding to meet.  Such long-distance romances use to grow out of fateful encounters on holidays, or perhaps far-flung business meetings but today a growing number of cross-border courtships, some owed to an instant message across time zones, is becoming not about what to wear on your date— it’s what to pack!

Statistics show that 52% of Canadian on-line daters have e-mailed someone out of country in the past 30 days.  I have also seen a spike in Matchmaking clients open to long-distance dating; after starting out searching within five miles of their postal code and as they get more comfortable they stop limiting themselves so much and more open to step outside the “border”.

This city’s only so big, and when the girl next door is no longer next door, its nice to open up the possibilities for my clients by working with other accredited “Cupids” from other cities.  This summer I’ve relied on connections with fellow cupids from Seattle, San Fran, San Diego, New York, London UK and of course continue working with my fellow Canadian ones all the way east to Toronto with some great success.

That’s certainly the case for our affiliate Matchmaker friend Ali Migliore of Simply Matchmaking in Seattle.  “There is definitely an infinite number of single people here open to dates from other cities and this summer, I knew I had to connect with Jane about an amazing client I had in Seattle who was open to expanding her search to the Vancouver area.  By us both knowing our clients so well, we were able to come up with a great match and our clients met and both said it was the best match yet! Looking forward to dozens of more potential romances happening with the help of our cross-border cupids at Matchmaker for Hire.”

Of course, expectations are always heightened when a plane fare is actually involved and its easy to feel cheated if the romance doesn’t work out (this kind of dating isn’t for the faint of wallet) – plus there’s added pressure if it does.  But for some, however the distance is a bonus and that not being around someone all the time can be ok if you are just as busy as they are.

So, if your tolerance to being uprooted is increased, let your Matchmaker know.

 

Jane Carstens –Matchmaker for Hire- Western Cda                   

 Ali Migliore – Simply Matchmaking – Seattle

Meet Maria; She enjoys the freedom to meet her friends in the middle of the day, take Monday’s off and lives a great life in James Bay, Victoria. 

Because she believes so strongly that she needed a unique approach to find her soul mate, Maria was reluctant to try online.  Afraid she’d “sound desperate” and she didn’t want to sound like every other single person out there.  At the same time, it was difficult to find the one. Something had to change.

For her, Matchmaking was both authentic and compelling to finding the right one.

So here you go,  Meet Maria!  If you are a 60+ gent living on Vancouver Island  message me to find out more jane@matchmakerforhire.com

As seen in the Victoria Times Colonist – Sunday September 16th, 2018

 

If it wasn’t for love, I’d be out of business.  Whether through disappointment, pain, betrayal, abandonment or the ongoing struggle to keep it alive, LOVE fuels every text, email, and phone call to my mailbox.

You might imagine that such a job, exposed daily to the devastated landscape of our broken dreams, would turn a person to cynicism or agonising thoughts.  Instead my client’s anguishes offer me comfort: access to the intimate detail of other’s lives consistently proves that our greatest motivator what we’re consumed by down the decades, isn’t money, success, power or even plain survival, but finding a safe place where we feel protected by the embrace of those we love.

Now I am not exposed much to the glorious beginnings of any relationship, the days full of giddy excitement, heart palpitations and the hope.  My business is at the back end of that story, digging about in its wake; failed love and all the many ways that love betrays our optimism.

In love’s aftermath that you witness the immense fragility – whether a bereaved parent or a broken-hearted lover – and understand that we are shaped and formed, built and broken by our desire to be connected to each other in meaningful ways.

Personally, I’ve always been as confused about love as anyone – probably more so.  I know matchmaking clients for 16 years has in some ways caught me up to where some peoples understanding was already!  And I’m only partly joking about that.  Overall, the stories have made me feel grateful about what I have and make me want to aspire to do better.

Jane Carstens

Friday is GUY-day: Ladies and Gents we introduce you to our new series. #guydayfriday .This is my Victoria based client and he has a career in finance, is a traveler & coffee lover. Get to know him here and contact me to meet him;  jane@matchmakerforhire.com 

OK, now that I have convinced you to outsource your love life, ( http://www.matchmakerforhire.com/online-dating-vs-matchmaking-the-pros-and-cons/ ) , you’ll find yourself faced with another decision to make. Do you want to work with an independently owned boutique Matchmaker with decades of experience, or a franchised dating service?

There are advantages and disadvantages for both, so the trick is to figure out which works for you. To do this, you need to understand and do some research on the differences between the two and reflect on which is best suited to your personality, strengths, and goals.

Of course, you’re in luck.  Not only do we help our clients take the first step together, all in the comfort of your own home, we love working with clients new to, or disheartened with, the intimidating world of dating.  What may seem like a daunting task ahead of you, we can guide you through the process, introduce you to quality people and make your dating experiences positive, enjoyable, and that turn into 2nd ones!  Yep…… we get pretty excited about it too!

It’s a beautiful thing when a career and passion come together!

From our standpoint…… We are in Love with Love!

Contact us;  Jane Carstens /  jane@matchmakerforhire.com       Rhonda Ceci /  rhonda@matchmakerforhire.com  or call  778-552-3350

 

 Photo credit : Natalia Anje Photography  nataliaanja.com

T-shirt:  Big Love Ball   bigloveball.com/shop-products/ 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo credit Natalia Anje

“Hey Google, what are the chances of winning the lottery,” and the results should send you running for the hills.  While your chances of getting struck by lightning may be greater than striking it rich in the lotto, people win big at finding LOVE on a fairly regular basis.  Right now, there are countless people celebrating it, cursing it or searching for it. And who can blame them? Love is a many splendored thing.

So, today we are sharing one (of many) of our favourite Love Stories with you.  Our story comes from August 2013 and our Prince Charming grand slam.

“I was happy with my first date but Jane insisted I meet Bert! Jane came to my house on a summer morning in August 2013, and we sat on my sunny deck barefoot and talked about my life for two hours; she met my dog, my kids, and she saw how I lived. I chose Jane because from what I knew about her, and that she would do the work for me and I didn’t need to share my photo and profile with the world, just Jane and her team.  It wasn’t too long after she called with an introduction for me, John and after a first meeting I found him as I thought, to be exactly who I was looking for, until intro #2.  Jane insisted that I meet Bert, I think she knew he was my perfect match, and she was right! Our cocktail date moved onto dinner and we met again the next day…….and forever after that.  Bert proposed to me in Bora Bora, 14 months later and we got married August 2016, exactly 3 years after our first date.  We are a match made in heaven and thanks to Jane she brought me my Prince!”

 

You know the old saying: you win some, you lose some… and then there’s that little-known third category…..as quoted by  Al Gore

Most of the people I meet who are venturing back into the dating world have no idea what they want in a partner.  Oh, don’t kid yourself they have a list a mile-long of qualities and traits that they are certain they will not tolerate again but the one thing they have a hard time telling me is what they are looking for.

For some, not having a clue of what they wanted in a partner has in the past lead to some epic dating adventures. Simply because they have either given everyone a chance or let some good ones pass them by, meeting several colorful personalities with whom have developed into platonic friendships, along with a handful of whack jobs that had them thinking of never dating again. Starting to sound familiar?

Thru all this trial and error, they discover what it is that they are actually looking for – someone to do nothing with. The concept of having someone to do nothing with should not be confused with having nothing in common. Having nothing in common generally equates to having separate interests, which often leads to having separate lives. But hear me out.

Having someone to do nothing with is finding someone to spend your unscheduled moments with — the person you share the comfortable silence with when you’re driving, or the one you lean against when you’re on the couch surfing Pinterest for dinner ideas.  They’re the one that you enjoy your morning cup of coffee with, or the one that chats with you while you’re folding laundry.

They’re the person in your world that makes your everyday living moments better simply because they’re in your presence.  While I’m an advocate for date night and the important role it plays in a relationship, I have come to realize that most neglect the importance of finding someone that simply wants to be with them — no activities, no schedules, just enjoying the company of one another.

While you still might be tempted to have more “Netflix and Chill” nights, as the temperatures rises, endorphins spark as the sun comes out; so, does your desire for a relationship.  There is something about the days getting a little longer brings us all out of the woodworks and we are seeing a surge in singles wanting to put themselves out there to meet someone,

As spring falls upon us there are still do’s and don’ts when it comes to meeting the right kind of match, based on what you’re looking for and here are a couple of steps you can follow to meet your Spring Love;

DO lose your “laundry list”; This doesn’t mean go out with anyone who asks, but your perfect partner is never 100 percent of what you think is perfect for you that you’ve put on a piece of paper. Date smart, but date with a balance of openness.

DON’T TMI; As relaxed as you are with this great first date, trust me that he’d rather not hear about your alcoholic mother who has a bad habit of continuing asking you for money. As interesting as you think he finds it, it’s because he wants to get to know as much as possible since this is probably the last time he will see you.

DO keep it simple, stupid; Stop trying to complicate things that are not. Relax, stop overanalyzing and putting unfounded pressure on your first few dates. You’re not getting married, you are on your second date.

DON’T try too hard; Put your best foot forward, work on yourself, but remain humbly confident. Don’t ever try to be something you are not in order to try to make someone like you. No one’s perfect. Be your best YOU that you can be, and you will find that right person who loves you for you, flaws and all.

After reading these DOs and DON’Ts are you be ready to meet your Spring Love?

 Contact me jane@matchmakerforhire.com

 

“hope springs eternal meaning, definition, what is hope springs eternal: said when you continue to hope that something will happen, although it seems unlikely.”