Birthday Dating

Birthdays! We all have them, most are hopefully happy- though some not, and we all enjoy celebrating birthdays with friends and family (mostly).

I recently celebrated a birthday.  Which one, I won’t tell, but it was a birthday! I don’t feel any older, but now its just another day where I have to remember to change the digit in my response when people ask how old I am.  But enough about my birthday…..it’s okay you didn’t send gifts. I’m over it Really! 🙂

So, what happens when you have a birthday during a date? Or someone has a birthday during the period of time you had just started dating?  Hmm…awkward…to celebrate such a personal occasion with someone you hardly know and it can seem more like walking up to some random friend-of-a-friend from Facebook and try to be part of their birthday party.

While it may seem like a strange question for some, it has happened several times for many with differing results.  Firstly, should you acknowledge the occurrence at all? If you didn’t have a clue and only found out that saves you from this quandary.  But if you DO know about your date’s birthday it would be a bit impolite not to recognize the occasion at all.

When in doubt, its invaluable to check. Most online profiles these days have birthdays’ there for anyone to see or you can flash you licence and obnoxiously point out your date of birth or better yet,  your date could have also mentioned the fact of their approaching birthday in passing. But the proper thing to do if it is your birthday is just tell your date (in a subtle way) and find it appropriate to recognize the birthday somehow.

Any one else have any interesting birthday related dating experiences?

 

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Dating a Firefighter


Over the years in Matchmaking, I’ve had many women clients that wanted me to introduce them to firefighter; they wanted to date a fireman. While there are no shortages of eligible firefighters, I’m going to try to give you a few tips on how it can work.

  • For the vast majority of them, the job will understandably be their first love
  • They are boys, and the men they hang with have a huge impact on their lives and you will be at first dating him and his boys. Nothing worse than creating havoc in the team!
  • Don’t think you can change or turn him into your dream guy. These amazing men live in a world you cannot imagine, not just the “doing it” part but the whole lifestyle of a firefighter.
  • The easiest conversation is to have him talk about himself. Why is he a firefighter? What is the best part about the job? Has he ever been scared at a big call? Another warning don’t go deep here last thing you want to do trigger a memory.
  • Know that at some point you will be run by his crew, his buddies for a group evaluation. The best thing you can hope for is an invitation to visit the station and would love to see where he works, or ask if you might bring some cookies by the station.

If he jumps at the suggestion and offers a good time to do that you’re in! Firefighters are gentlemen and will always treat a lady with respect, remember this is not a good environment for wall flowers, but know that he will always take any chance to step in and rescue you!
This Saturday April 1, I am proud and honored to attend The Surrey Firefighters’ Society – Ignite a Dream Event with some very dear Firefighter friends in White Rock. The event aims to provide underprivileged children of Surrey with Educational Opportunities.  Get a ticket here and support a great cause!  https://surreyfirefighters.com/ignite/

And oh yes, I will be scouting!

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Flashback: Miss Match 2003 !

Today I am spending a day in the office matching my clients and it made me remember an article I did back in 2003, on the let’s get down to business approach to finding love, one of my favorite articles. Today, I think back and how now these couples seem inseparable, as I see their snapshots on my happy couple’s photo wall. Feeling Grateful!

Read full article here:

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What Real love looks like (Part 2 con’t)

In this conclusion of a two-part series and when we left off in Part 1, we were just getting into the brass tacks of what real love looks like.

Today, we’re going to finish off the balance of the qualities of what real love looks like but I want to serve up a warning; If you haven’t read Part 1 of this series (https://www.matchmakerforhire.com/what-real-love-looks-like-part-one-of-a-two-part-post/ ), you need to do that first. The complete picture always makes better sense.  Let’s dive in….

 

 

 

 

Companionship-  Is it Love or Companionship? It sure helps to have *some* common interests and often when people first fall in love, they bond over that shared love of certain activities and mutual interests. Even if they are different from yours, you can start trying them, showing interest in them, asking to share your partner in doing them. If the other party really interested in you, he/she will automatically show an equal interest in your hobbies and interests.  Here begins the companionship! The way you listen also tells of the way you care for the other party. You are listening not out of an interest in the subject itself but out of concern for the other party.  If we all apply it, I guarantee our dating experiences will be completely different.

Respect –In relationships, respect may be even more crucial than love.  It is useful, I think, to compare and contrast parent-child relationships with partner to partner relationships.  In both of these, respect is absolutely essential for it to work. When a love interest expresses an idea, or asks a question, take it seriously and learn to let go of unsolicited advice. Listen up! Love without respect is dangerous; it can crush the other person, sometimes literally.

Openness – Is openness important in your relationships? I mean, being open with your partner 100% of the time.  No secrets, no lies, nothing. In my personal opinion, everyone is entitled to have something to keep for themselves.  And I don’t think the most intimate, private thoughts are necessary to share unless they’re relevant to your partner or your relationship. There are certain things you share, other thoughts you don’t.  So let me ask, why do most of us babble out every thought, every little thing they do and everything anyone says to them? How boring! That’s the kind of stuff you keep for Facebook! I don’t think that a one-size-fits all rule like “always be open” makes much sense. Building a relationship and growing trust, while each of you are growing individually, requires more than simplistic slogans.

 

“Real love may seem less exciting than our shiny fantasies, but it is a million times more worthwhile” 

 

 

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What Real Love looks like?— (Part one of a two-part post)

Throughout our lives, we compile a picture of what we think real love should look like. Often this process begins early, as little kids listening to fairy tales envisioning our very own Cinderella and Prince Charming.  As we grow older, we often imagine finding a soul-mate, that perfect person who we were destined to spend our lives with—– we set out looking for our missing piece.

The trouble is that the reality of love is not quite as simple as the picture we create in our heads. Our idea of love often leads us to choose romantic partners for the wrong reasons. The romantic, rom/com idea of “You complete me” has potentially negative implications by filling in the gaps we see in ourselves, we make assumptions and try to find a partner to fill in our self-perceived shortfalls.

Coming from a 16-year career in working with thousands of single men and women with finding love relationships, this two-part blog post will share a list of the top 5 qualities that my clients say, for them, work towards a truly loving relationship.

 

Honesty — Many believe that “Honesty is the best policy. Others say, “Discretion is the better part of valor.” Of course, being truthful is important. But are their times when you are better off not answering a new romantic partner’s questions or even, not telling the truth (the whole truth and nothing but the truth…so help you God)?  After all, during the early stages of a new relationship, it’s what you don’t say, that can allow a relationship to grow and develop unencumbered by too much information.  I’m not advocating being untruthful or lying but rather I’m suggesting that good timing and discretion should be a part of being honest in a new relationship and replies such as “that’s old history, I don’t want to get into it,” or “that’s too personal,” or “that’s from my past, I’d rather it stays buried” are more than appropriate and honest.

Affection – Its’ Complicated! Most of us have kissed someone before and we’ve seen hundreds of movies of other people kissing, and yet, when we come face-to-face with someone we find attractive, our hearts race and our minds are sent reeling. And we stall.  It sounds simple, but why is it so hard?  Generally speaking, if someone practices skiing regularly for two years, they will eventually become quite competent at it. Yet many people spend most of their lives with one romantic failure after another. Why dating and not, say, skiing?  It’s your emotional map — or at least part of it. These are the hang ups and issues that you’ve battled and slowly beaten back with years of active effort. These are the realities that are needed to express openly and seek out the proper partner who can handle them. What are yours?

Coming next week, Part 2 will highlight 3 more qualities and sum up how to work towards a truly loving relationship.  For more tips on finding true love don’t forget to check out our website blog at https://www.matchmakerforhire.com/blog/

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