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Are you a Beach or Mountain Person?

Do you relish the view of the sea or is the vista of the mountains your out-and-out favorite?  Don’t be surprised if your potential partner just doesn’t appreciate the same view –does that makes some of you let out a big sigh when it comes to dating?  According to research and our own experience of matching couples for 16 years people should consider personalities and lifestyles more closely when choosing a partner.

Let’s see what a mountain view choice can say about your personality.

  • People who love living in the mountains are said to be more prone to thinking. (Did you know that if you love this instead of beaches, you would be in the same personality category as best-selling author J.K. Rowling?)
  • People who like the mountains tend to be self-fulfilling but that doesn’t mean that they are a loner. (If you love living in the mountains, you might enjoy simple and quiet things like yoga on the veranda or simply lounging by the pool with a really good book)
  • Someone who prefers living in the mountains than staying near the beach would also prefer having a quiet drink at home with a partner instead of going to a loud bar.
  • Those who prefer mountain views are also said to enjoy things like: A long stretch of weekend time with no official plans, writing and shopping.
  • The last resort for singles living in the mountains is to move to a more metropolitan area—where dating is a different thing entirely!!!

There is no evidence that living in the mountains makes people prefer their own company and it equally doesn’t mean that they like being alone either. So, if you tend to like the mountains and the greens and spending quality time together then I am going to end this piece with a possibility!  If you are a single woman in her 50’s contact me [email protected] for a personal and confidential interview to meet this client.  ***As seen in the North Shore News, Sunday November 26, 2017.

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Single Women 60+ and the Pitfalls of Questing for Love

Being older than 60, single and looking for romance has never been easy, and for women who typically outnumber single men, its especially challenging.  While the internet makes it easer for women over 60 who didn’t grow up with the “worldwide web” to get outside their social circles for dating and romance, I know from speaking to many singles everyday, it only makes them more vulnerable to deception.

Here’s a couple of examples that some have discovered;

  • People are a little generous (not what they are) about themselves in their profiles.
  • 95% of the men use dating sites to go out and avoid a relationship-no matter what they say!
  • It’s easier to become emotionally intimate with someone quickly, and communication is instant- scammers are very skilled at seducing!

Now, I am not saying that you should be afraid to go online, yes, you will meet some frogs, but with a little cautiousness it does increase the odds — and that’s why we’re not going to end this piece without a happy story.

“I am ready to meet my soul mate. Before we even met she knew what I am looking for in a partner, and that is one of the great advantages, I think with working with Jane”.  He further comments “Despite the 6-1, woman to man ratio on the island, I know she will find the perfect match that compliments for us both” he says.

If you are in your 60’s, living on Vancouver Island contact me  [email protected]  for a personal and confidential interview for a potential to meet my client.

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Finding Relationship Gold!

At every Olympics event you see a series of athletes battle it out for gold. But away from the track, the sporting heroes are also rumored to be competing for each other .  Sound Familiar?

Despite all your great intentions you feel you are continually falling short of your expectations and its’ negatively impacting you finding a love connection despite your willingness to have a relationship?

With the thousands of singles, we frequently meet we decided to analyse some of today’s dating behaviors and outline better winning performances that are needed to go the distance to be fearless in dating.  Nothing better than us bringing in the winning coach to help! Coach Rams’ approach breaks things down from a coach’s perspective and together we will define ways to help you apply it to a pursuit of LOVE.

Join me on Thursday October 12, 2017, 7-9pm, at our Vancouver Yaletown location.  Limited seats for the 1st of our complimentary Q&A series.

 

 

Meet Coach Ram Nayyar.  He has over 20 years + of it. –Canadian Olympic Coach and Best-Selling Author (The Sport of Life).  Coach Ram will show you that no matter what is stopping you, fearlessness is always the way forward.  He is an Olympic Level Coach and mentor, advisor and guide to elite and developing athletes, C-Suite Professionals and High-achieving learners, published author, motivational speaker and gifted storyteller; a unique blend of Western Practicality and Eastern Philosophy to drive an active process that helps his clients acknowledge, work through and ultimately overcome the fears that are holding them back from uncovering and achieving renewed motivations, success and happiness.

 

 

 

 

To concluded with some fun facts; surveys have  compared the success rate of pick-up lines at the games, revealing who won Gold, Silver and Bronze for their engaging chat up lines.

Scoring gold was Portugal. The most commonly used line was: “Hello, have I told you you’re a princess?”  

Spain took silver with the opening: “I’m sorry, but I could not resist your beauty.”

And USA took bronze, going with the line: “OMG, I’m speechless.”

Contact me, [email protected]  today to reserve a spot. We want you to succeed in dating!

 

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Dating a Firefighter


Over the years in Matchmaking, I’ve had many women clients that wanted me to introduce them to firefighter; they wanted to date a fireman. While there are no shortages of eligible firefighters, I’m going to try to give you a few tips on how it can work.

  • For the vast majority of them, the job will understandably be their first love
  • They are boys, and the men they hang with have a huge impact on their lives and you will be at first dating him and his boys. Nothing worse than creating havoc in the team!
  • Don’t think you can change or turn him into your dream guy. These amazing men live in a world you cannot imagine, not just the “doing it” part but the whole lifestyle of a firefighter.
  • The easiest conversation is to have him talk about himself. Why is he a firefighter? What is the best part about the job? Has he ever been scared at a big call? Another warning don’t go deep here last thing you want to do trigger a memory.
  • Know that at some point you will be run by his crew, his buddies for a group evaluation. The best thing you can hope for is an invitation to visit the station and would love to see where he works, or ask if you might bring some cookies by the station.

If he jumps at the suggestion and offers a good time to do that you’re in! Firefighters are gentlemen and will always treat a lady with respect, remember this is not a good environment for wall flowers, but know that he will always take any chance to step in and rescue you!
This Saturday April 1, I am proud and honored to attend The Surrey Firefighters’ Society – Ignite a Dream Event with some very dear Firefighter friends in White Rock. The event aims to provide underprivileged children of Surrey with Educational Opportunities.  Get a ticket here and support a great cause!  https://surreyfirefighters.com/ignite/

And oh yes, I will be scouting!

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GAME ON!!! – Lessons the Super Bowl can teach you about Dating!

What do the Patriots & Falcons have in common with your dating game plan and how can you learn and understand lessons from the NFL and relate it to all aspects of your dating life?  Here’s our playbook:

  1. Your Coach

Not all coaches make it into the finals, only the best ones. Everybody in life needs a good coach that’s going to center them, ground them and help them achieve what they need to achieve.  Those are the kind of coaches needed to help you navigate yourself in the dating game.

  1. Ownership

If you take a look at the best teams in football, they’re owned by the most stable people out there.  They don’t give up, don’t have bad days, or look for immediate fixes.  It’s like that with your dating life, as well.  Ownership is everything.  And stability is everything.

  1. The Quarterback

There is little doubt who belongs at the top of the list of the best quarterbacks; great leaders who always return to the finals with their team every year —–hello, Tom Brady.  So, technically you are the quarterback to yourself and your dating life. So be the best you can be.

So, think about this: as you slowly make your way through your dating life, you’ve got to be the quarterback, the owner and you should have a coach that keeps you on the right track.  Take a look at your dating life game plan. Do you have all three of those things?

I am……Coach Carstens !

“If you don’t plan your life, chances are you’ll fall into someone’s plan.  And guess what they have planned for you? NOT MUCH!”  –Jim Rohn

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Someone’s going to win at Finding Love– it might as well be You!

James (not Real Name) couldn’t get a break.  For the past three years, he spent 5-8 hours a week “playing” a few of the paid online dating sites, but he’s only hit it close to meeting his match less than a handful of times.  He still keeps trying, sure his luck is bound to change.

Sound familiar?  Have you been pouring time and energy into online dating looking for a chance to find love quick from the comfort of home and so far, it hasn’t worked.  To make matters worse your friend and/or colleagues are meeting someone on a first date. It really isn’t fair.

What a lot of singles don’t realize is that winning at finding love has nothing to do with luck and there’s no question playing the online dating game to find true love can be a fool’s game.    Play it for fun if you want but don’t do it because you think its going to help to find you your mate.

While its true, personalized matchmaking ups your chances of getting a second date 80%, its far more than the less than one-third of people who have used online dating have never actually landed a date with someone they corresponded with.

If you really want to improve your experiences for the chance to find love do something boring; keep trying and investigate the world of Matchmaking……. I’ll put all the finding, vetting and connecting on the table for you…… you can just have fun and enjoy!

 

No matter how bad or slow things go… “You’re still way ahead of everyone who isn’t even trying.”
– Tony Robbins

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Heads up! Only 1 Month till Valentine’s Day!

Here it comes! Just when you were resting on your laurels making it thru the holidays being single……its Valentine’s Day!  Call us kind of a weird-Os’ but Valentine’s Day is our favorite holiday.   Of course, we love Christmas but Valentine’s Day is special …. because it’s about a love that lasts all year for us!

So how do you get through being single on Valentine’s Day without quietly losing your mind? Glad you asked; Get Ready for Next Valentine’s Day!

Getting through Valentine’s Day this year is the first step. The final step is getting ready for Valentine’s Day next year… and each year after that. This may sound like a task that’s going to leave you waking up screaming in the night, but hear me out. Just as the key to getting through this Valentine’s Day is to take steps that give you greater control, the key to making it through future ones is to apply those same principles to your life. Dating – as I’m so often reminding people – is a skill. It’s something that you can take control of and improve with conscious effort along with a little help.

Making the choice to develop and improve those skills is part of how you make Valentine’s Day something you can enjoy instead of something you endure – whether you’re single or in a relationship. And while I’m not big on things like New Years resolutions, Valentine’s Day makes as good a day as any to decide that you’re going to actively work towards concrete steps to becoming more productive in dating.  Part of the point of working with a Matchmaker is to give you highly-specific, personalized advice and tools so you can make romantic success a reality. Whether you need to troubleshoot your dating life, get better results or make a total transformation, you can become the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Ok so now you have been warned, there are no excuses.  Take control of your dating life and make this the last Valentine’s Day you have to suffer through alone.

I’m looking for your thoughts!  Let’s hear them!

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Dating: The less the merrier

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As a Matchmaker, I have always found the concept of speed dating fascinating. For some who have the tendency to talk people’s ears off, you are still in the process of trying to explain to your bedazzled dating partner who you are before the 3-minute buzzer goes off, and for others they don’t have any troubles.  Yet research does point out a different dating problem; being confronted with a large number of choices can make it harder to make a good decision.  In fact, it can even prevent you from making a decision at all.

You might assume that when trying to find a good partner, having a large varied pool of potential candidates available to you to date is a good thing, but research indicates that it is not. Similarly, when you are presented with more potential partners you do not experience any greater emotional satisfaction than one with fewer options.  (they were, if anything, more confused about their choices). If you think about it this does not only pertain to the world of dating.  Have you ever had trouble finding a house to buy?  Well, its not surprising then, you don’t want to see every house for sale, you just want to be shown the ones that fit.  In short, we use all kinds of experts on a daily basis and apparently, we do so for a good reason.

In conclusion, when pressured for time, especially this holiday season and being faced with many competing options, “fast and frugal” decision making can (potentially) lessening the quality of our dates.  Selecting a future spouse based on this might be overdoing it a bit, but when overwhelmed with the many choices of online suitors or potentials at a speed-dating event, my clients if anything, are saying that by reducing and simplifying the process with highly specific, personalized advice that guides the dating decision making, has helped them get to where they are today.

In other words, less is more “merrier” with a little help.

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Halloween Dating: Trick or Treat?

wolf-1-jpg-halloween

So the solution is two fold;

1) work on improving your life and becoming more proud of the person you’re becoming,

2) face your fears, talk to girls!

Here are 11 non-creepy ways to ask someone out!

11 non-creepy ways to ask someone out

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Was your First Kiss terrible?

spiderman-kiss

 

Some peoples first kiss can happen in front of millions of people!  Jasmine Lorimer Canadas’ first Bachelorette on the hit reality show Bachelorette Canada can vouch for that.  Her first kiss with each of these guys has happened during the filming of any given episode and from watching you must wonder if they enjoyed it more than she did.

It’s not like it was a kiss kiss —so then the question I guess we are supposed to be asking is do you remember your first kiss or do you want to remember your first kiss?

 

Some kisses can be messy not knowing what you are doing (after all u-tube might not have been around back then and god forbid you ask your friends for help); stomach aches dreading he’s going to kiss you and he does, he regrets it and it didn’t work out. Some first kisses were in high school where you’re kept being told when you kiss someone and you really love someone, it’s amazing so naturally you have all these expectations and then it’s just ok and that relationship ends up being just ok.  Then cut to college to the second guy you wind up kissing, end up in a relationship and it becomes love and you remember saying “oh, this is what its suppose to feel like”.  Kind of a discovery by kissing the second guy.

That’s right: It’s in his kiss (That’s where it is)!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARZDfcVOwno

KISS Fact: A kiss burns 6.4 calories per minute

 Jane Carstens

 

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