Tip for Valentine’s Day: A good kiss can seal a relationship, and a bad one can kill a new relationship before it’s even got started.

Psychologists report that most people can remember up to 90 % of the details of their first romantic kiss, a memory that is even more powerful than their first sexual encounter!

What is known for sure is that exclusivity starts with the FIRST FRENCH KISS in France?  Its true! Just as you would encourage your child to say please and thank you, hello and goodbye, French parents in France ALL encourage their children to “faire la bise” to friends and family both young and old.

Here, men mostly shake hands with each other with optional back slapping, but men kiss women.  Women kiss women. Everyone kisses children; both sexes hold up their faces to be kissed.  So, this Valentines, when you have known someone for a while and have exchanged handshakes already, one of you can say, “on fait la bise” and the kissing can begin.








Check out some of the most memorable kisses have come out of Hollywood:

Burt Lancaster’s famous kiss in the surf with Deborah Kerr in the 1953 film “From Here to Eternity,” still ranks as the most memorable of all screen kisses, as rated by entertainment writer Erik Lundegaard. Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst ranked second in their upside-down kiss in the 2002 movie “Spider-Man,” followed by George Peppard and Audrey Hepburn in the 1961 film “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” and Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in the 1990 move “Ghost.”


What do the Patriots & Falcons have in common with your dating game plan and how can you learn and understand lessons from the NFL and relate it to all aspects of your dating life?  Here’s our playbook:

  1. Your Coach

Not all coaches make it into the finals, only the best ones. Everybody in life needs a good coach that’s going to center them, ground them and help them achieve what they need to achieve.  Those are the kind of coaches needed to help you navigate yourself in the dating game.

  1. Ownership

If you take a look at the best teams in football, they’re owned by the most stable people out there.  They don’t give up, don’t have bad days, or look for immediate fixes.  It’s like that with your dating life, as well.  Ownership is everything.  And stability is everything.

  1. The Quarterback

There is little doubt who belongs at the top of the list of the best quarterbacks; great leaders who always return to the finals with their team every year —–hello, Tom Brady.  So, technically you are the quarterback to yourself and your dating life. So be the best you can be.

So, think about this: as you slowly make your way through your dating life, you’ve got to be the quarterback, the owner and you should have a coach that keeps you on the right track.  Take a look at your dating life game plan. Do you have all three of those things?

I am……Coach Carstens !

“If you don’t plan your life, chances are you’ll fall into someone’s plan.  And guess what they have planned for you? NOT MUCH!”  –Jim Rohn

James (not Real Name) couldn’t get a break.  For the past three years, he spent 5-8 hours a week “playing” a few of the paid online dating sites, but he’s only hit it close to meeting his match less than a handful of times.  He still keeps trying, sure his luck is bound to change.

Sound familiar?  Have you been pouring time and energy into online dating looking for a chance to find love quick from the comfort of home and so far, it hasn’t worked.  To make matters worse your friend and/or colleagues are meeting someone on a first date. It really isn’t fair.

What a lot of singles don’t realize is that winning at finding love has nothing to do with luck and there’s no question playing the online dating game to find true love can be a fool’s game.    Play it for fun if you want but don’t do it because you think its going to help to find you your mate.

While its true, personalized matchmaking ups your chances of getting a second date 80%, its far more than the less than one-third of people who have used online dating have never actually landed a date with someone they corresponded with.

If you really want to improve your experiences for the chance to find love do something boring; keep trying and investigate the world of Matchmaking……. I’ll put all the finding, vetting and connecting on the table for you…… you can just have fun and enjoy!


No matter how bad or slow things go… “You’re still way ahead of everyone who isn’t even trying.”
– Tony Robbins

Here it comes! Just when you were resting on your laurels making it thru the holidays being single……its Valentine’s Day!  Call us kind of a weird-Os’ but Valentine’s Day is our favorite holiday.   Of course, we love Christmas but Valentine’s Day is special …. because it’s about a love that lasts all year for us!

So how do you get through being single on Valentine’s Day without quietly losing your mind? Glad you asked; Get Ready for Next Valentine’s Day!

Getting through Valentine’s Day this year is the first step. The final step is getting ready for Valentine’s Day next year… and each year after that. This may sound like a task that’s going to leave you waking up screaming in the night, but hear me out. Just as the key to getting through this Valentine’s Day is to take steps that give you greater control, the key to making it through future ones is to apply those same principles to your life. Dating – as I’m so often reminding people – is a skill. It’s something that you can take control of and improve with conscious effort along with a little help.

Making the choice to develop and improve those skills is part of how you make Valentine’s Day something you can enjoy instead of something you endure – whether you’re single or in a relationship. And while I’m not big on things like New Years resolutions, Valentine’s Day makes as good a day as any to decide that you’re going to actively work towards concrete steps to becoming more productive in dating.  Part of the point of working with a Matchmaker is to give you highly-specific, personalized advice and tools so you can make romantic success a reality. Whether you need to troubleshoot your dating life, get better results or make a total transformation, you can become the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Ok so now you have been warned, there are no excuses.  Take control of your dating life and make this the last Valentine’s Day you have to suffer through alone.

I’m looking for your thoughts!  Let’s hear them!

“The Universe” responds and sends you messages all the time. Everything you see “out there” every single day is a response to what you are thinking, feeling, believing and doing.  But here is the really exciting news—you can make your world change within hours. How cool is that?

If your desire is to create a vibrant and fun new relationship with someone you’d love to spend time with a sign might be: you meet a stranger in line and a conversation ignites, you open your Facebook page and see a comment on one of your posts, or your sister calls to tell you she has someone you should meet.  Now the problem is, not everyone sees these little things as signs and if you miss the sign, you miss knowing if this could be creating your relationship dream and even worse you’ll literally stop the creation.  Ouch!  Well whether you overthink the “signs” or not and are not sure if you are heading in the right direction of finding a partner, I believe there are no coincidences.

Spreading love and understanding into “the universe” is common practice for us and our clients love the fact that we are able to give highly-specific, proactive, personalized “signs” when it comes to the roadmap that leads to their relationship success.

We always love to work our matchmaking “magic” through a love note in the form of a person.  Its up to you to figure out what to do with it!


For many years, I can’t wait to watch all the Christmas movies possible that are aired on television during this holiday week.  Almost all Christmas movies follow the standard formula of someone discovering happiness over the holiday season usually by falling in LOVE.  Some of these movies are good as long as they’re done well.  So, without further ado……here are my favorites as I look forward to re-watching again this year. What’s yours?

Movie: A Boyfriend for Christmas – A young girl asks Santa for a boyfriend, which he promised to deliver in 20 years.  Twenty years later the same Santa brings her together with a boy she met briefly in her youth…..(Déjà vu)

Movie: Married By Christmas – Lady executive of a family business must get married before Christmas to prevent her slightly flaky sister from inheriting the company….(might be worth it!) 

Movie: Marry Me for Christmas – Business woman hires an employee to act as her fiance over Christmas to satisfy a mother pressuring her to get married….(who isn’t familiar with this one!)

Movie: The Mistletoe Promise – Two people hurt during past Christmases come together in a pact to help each other professionally over the holiday…..(The obvious happens)

Movie: Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus – Santa’s son has to find a wife before Christmas….(call Matchmaker Santa!)

Oh Oh Oh Merry Christmas !

What’s your attitude about dating over the holidays? 

Forget the latest new gadgets, put down that brand-new watch, leave that aftershave on the shelf; Ladies, what men really want for Christmas is Love.   According to how busy I am this time of the year, men are the ones who really crave romance during the holidays.  For them the worst day of the year to be single is Christmas Day. Surprised?

Well it is possible to find love at any time of the year, but just 12 months ago, December 2015, I was lucky enough to meet Michael (not his real name) who took some time out of the holiday chaos to seek a different approach to find romance.

My advice was simple, lets put together an action plan to find love.  Its no different than a business plan, combined with no nonsense tips for finding his perfect mate and not wasting time with someone he was not compatible with.   We walked thru the steps which included scouting thru a series of confidential, custom high end ads that we ran in the paper and social media.


Then, in January, I met Elizabeth (not her real name) who saw his ad.  After qualifying she was a great fit for him, they met in February, and they both were smitten.  While I admit, you never know how things will play out with couples I introduce when it comes to chemistry, but if I’ve learned anything and the advice I give my clients,  you sometimes have to step outside the box and at least give things a try.  Today, December 15, 2016, just 12 months later, they’ve both had their Christmas wishes come true.

Lastly, here is a card from the self declared “lover’s sweethearts” I received in the mail today from their recent travels together quoting, “Every day with Michael, no matter what we’re doing, is such a wonderful day.  He truly is the love of my life.’”

aka…..Mistletoe Matchmaker!

If you are looking for Christmas Love in BC then you are in the right place! Contact me to hear more….aka her Mistletoe Matchmaker !

[email protected] 

Seen in the Victoria Times Colonist



As a Matchmaker, I have always found the concept of speed dating fascinating. For some who have the tendency to talk people’s ears off, you are still in the process of trying to explain to your bedazzled dating partner who you are before the 3-minute buzzer goes off, and for others they don’t have any troubles.  Yet research does point out a different dating problem; being confronted with a large number of choices can make it harder to make a good decision.  In fact, it can even prevent you from making a decision at all.

You might assume that when trying to find a good partner, having a large varied pool of potential candidates available to you to date is a good thing, but research indicates that it is not. Similarly, when you are presented with more potential partners you do not experience any greater emotional satisfaction than one with fewer options.  (they were, if anything, more confused about their choices). If you think about it this does not only pertain to the world of dating.  Have you ever had trouble finding a house to buy?  Well, its not surprising then, you don’t want to see every house for sale, you just want to be shown the ones that fit.  In short, we use all kinds of experts on a daily basis and apparently, we do so for a good reason.

In conclusion, when pressured for time, especially this holiday season and being faced with many competing options, “fast and frugal” decision making can (potentially) lessening the quality of our dates.  Selecting a future spouse based on this might be overdoing it a bit, but when overwhelmed with the many choices of online suitors or potentials at a speed-dating event, my clients if anything, are saying that by reducing and simplifying the process with highly specific, personalized advice that guides the dating decision making, has helped them get to where they are today.

In other words, less is more “merrier” with a little help.

If 90% of the The Bachelorette Canada Super Fans know that Mikhel Sickand is the full package and you live in the West Coast, here’s our very available BC Bachelor. Contact me to learn more !