One of the most powerful things I learned from my clients was that while you are not in control of everything that happens to you, you are in control of the meaning it gives when it comes to dating and finding love.

If you experience life while looking for love with the understanding that you are authoring the story it will allow you to make the brave decisions rather than “seeing what happens” and *reacting* to it. 

When you can conceive that obstacles (like a not so great first date) are not the end, and merely a chapter, it makes them easier to overcome.   Its like knowing you can write the antagonist out of a plot simply by changing the decisions he/she will make, and the storyline will flow.  Realizing you have a choice to make a circumstance either end the principle character or make he/she stronger,  you will start looking for creative ways you can overcome things, rather than questioning if you would.

I am not sure what you are going thru with your dating experiences, my friends, but I just wanted to remind you that you are holding the pen……

When Olivia Pierson wanted to bring her Mom, Julia Jerome Pierson for a meeting to meet me to play matchmaker for her Mom, she didn’t think that its in my nature to be interested in her romantic life as well ?

Her first reaction was defensive, and she used a few profanities I recall from our meeting but she changed her tune, when we focussed more on which one of the eligible bachelors, that she surprisingly said looked like her Dad,  I presented to be set up with her mom.

Julia went out on a meet and greet with Allan for real and as part of the popular E Channel Relatively Nat and Liv reality TV series that follows the high-octane shenanigans of the PIERCROWS families living in Vancouver.  The date arranged by Matchmaker for Hire Jane Carstens at the request of the producers took place on a patio overlooking Vancouver while “the family” happens to surprisingly mix in with the crowd on the seawall and crash the date.  The 90-minute filming last fall translated into three minutes of footage which was the least dramatic part of Season 1.   

Season 1 – Episode 6 aired in USA Tuesday July 3 on E Channel and this Sunday July 7 in Canada.  

We will be watching Canada !

These dating photo tips are meant to craft the perfect snapshot of who you are, but it only gets your foot in the door. If you need help figuring out what to do next, we can help at Matchmaker for Hire.

How Many Photos to Have?

Too many pictures can be overkill.  No one wants to get overwhelmed with the number of photos so keep it a relatively low number.  Our suggestion 3 is a great number to have, and no less.

What Pictures to Use?

There are two kinds of pictures that you absolutely need to have in your profile.  One should be a picture of your face relatively close up (no sunnies).  Another should be a picture of your full body.  Think about it from his/her perspective; she wants to see what you look like, just like you want to see what she looks like.  Showing only one part of yourself creates the impression that you are hiding something and concealing it is only going to make you look dishonest when you finally meet.

Pictures of You being Awesome

You’re a great person with a vibrant social life, you want him/her to know that.  So the best shots are the ones—within the guidelines that we’ve already established –are pictures of you out and having fun.  You need to have at least one picture of you alone , but also have one having a killer time. Even it you’re just standing by yourself in a picture somewhere cool, like hiking or a tourist attraction or foreign skyline, you’re communicating same thing; you’re a fun loving person.

What Kind of Pictures to Avoid

Pictures with kids generally don’t do well, nor do shirtless selfies in your bathroom mirror are best avoided.  In fact, it’s best to avoid selfies in general.

This weekend , I saw one kick-ass live Comedy show with Trevor Noah and he had my back and didn’t disappoint.  Shocking as it may sound, when I ask singles what top qualities they look for in a partner, most say a sense of humor !

There is just something about a person who makes you giggle, and there’s a reason Seth Rogen never fails to steal our hearts in every movie.  Funny has a charm and electricity about it that’s hard to deny.  Here’s a few reasons why “silly” will always have you hooked;

  • It never gets boring and it makes things exciting because you have to be quick to keep up with he or she.
  • Sure anyone can tell a good old fashioned joke, but it takes a certain type of a genius to nail a punchline that will make you laugh until your belly hurts.
  • Nothing eases up an awkward moment better than a good-hearted joke – and they also know when the time is right to tease and when it is better not.
  • They teach you to laugh at life and yourself. What is a sweeter love when you can both truly be yourself around each other.
  • Unlike so many others who seem one-dimensional, funny people have a beautiful complex to them. When they are comfortable enough to reveal their sensitive side to us, it is a special and intimate feeling.
  • Most importantly, they never fail to bring a smile to your face.  If you laugh at all their funny antics, you probably have a crush.  If you also laugh at the failed one-liners, you my friend, are already in love.

Would a stand up show be a good date idea for you ?

ENTER TO WIN a Membership! 
Dating isn’t easy, and dating as a single parent can be even more difficult but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a worthwhile thing to do. Studies have shown that re-coupling after a divorce has a positive influence on one’s sense of satisfaction and adjustment. Greater self-esteem, decreased loneliness, and feelings of a larger support network are just three of the things that a new relationship can provide. So we’d like to encourage all of the (emotionally ready) single dads out there is to jump into the pool, go all in, plant the dating seed. Lucky for you, we’re here to help. Studies have shown that female single parents find it easier to meet new people than did men and so we want to help. We are offering one lucky single dad a membership at Matchmaker for Hire so that we make the introductions and help facilitate the re-partnering process.We have clients ranging from late 20’s to early 70’s so any aged Dads please apply!

To be entered you can go to; 
-Follow us on Instagram  @matchmaker4hire
-Like us on Facebook
-Tag a friend in our post
-Send us an email with the reasons why they think they are deserving of winning to [email protected]

Winner will be announced on Friday June 21st 2019!

Sports………that’s how we met people in Canada.  It’s so hard to meet people in our cities, but we all get together over sports. Last night the Warriors forced the NBA finals to  Game 6 with the Raptors, so here’s your chance.   If you need proof there’s more to sports than sport, then how about going to a sporting event on a first date.  Here’s our thoughts;

  • If she’s a fan of the team I don’t see why not.  Normally I’d see as a bad move, but all depends on how comfort she is with it and if she’s excited to go then it’s a good move!
  • Awkward one to one conversations always go with first dates, so then a sporting event is a good way to go with no real pressure to be over romantic.
  • A first date should never be about getting to know them. First dates you should take your date somewhere fun and enjoyable where you don’t have to spend a lot of time actually talking to them, but you just enjoy their company. Like the movies, mini golf, a sports game, something casual like that. It’s comfortable to be around each other and helps break the ice. The Second date is where you take them to dinner and actually have a 1 on 1, in-depth, continuous conversation.  And the bonus is you’ll always have a bailout conversation topic, because you can just revisit and talk about whatever you did on the first date.
  • More so than any other the idea of a game date depends on the girl.  For example, if you take a date to a Blue Jays game and she played softball in college and is a huge baseball fan, it would be cool…however you might not do it with anyone else you date.
  • I think it would be a more casual experience than something that usually comes with a lot of pressure, like dinner. If it goes well and the other person is into it as much as you (or at least tries to be) it lets you get comfortable with each other quicker. That said, you probably won’t get much time to talk if you’re watching the game, and if you’re a huge fan and they’re not, it could push them away. So maybe do something else in addition after to it where you can talk more.
  • There’s always so much going on and there’s BEER. Who wouldn’t love to be taken to a game on a first date, beer makes everything so much fun. Even if she’s not a big sports fan, she’s sure to enjoy a laid back evening or afternoon courtside or at Jurassic Park. Even amateur teams tend to have more entertainment during the game, which will provide you with tons of conversation starters. Plus, the drinks and food won’t cost you an arm and a leg which is especially good news if things don’t pan out.
  • And lastly, If you’re finding conversation awkward at a sporting event trust me, it wouldn’t be any better at a dinner and you probably aren’t right for each other anyway.

Going to a sporting event on a first date, Yay or Nay?

Yes, he’s a divorced Dad , 41 , with two sons.

He was that guy that was on dating sites, afraid to mention his kids in his profile because no one would wink at him, and always felt awful about it.  He adores his kids but dreaded the moments that he dropped that bomb on the women he was chatting with.  He’s also that Dad in Target, in the sports section with his sons, and when he sees a gal walk by with a smile and while he smiles back wondering if it’s him or his son she sees.  Hopefully its both of them; I mean they are a package deal.  He finds his anxiety keeps him from making such attempts, albiet wants to, and regrets it as they leave the store. 

For him he feels his reality is likely that she wouldn’t want him or understand the wonderfully unique adventure that is his everyday life.  He’s a single Dad, so he must have drama; at least that is what he is telling himself.  But the truth is the single Dads we work with are some of the most loving, compassionate and fun guys to date and they have no energy for drama! They aren’t there to waste your time….remember that every moment they spend with you is time away from their children and we all know how 5-month-olds become 5-year-olds in the blink of an eye.

Here’s a couple reasons why;

  • They aren’t needy; they get all the love and affection they can from their kids.  They can offer you those things because they understand their importance and they don’t fear vulnerability, emotional connection and romance.   And when they get to see you finally, he has so much to give.
  • The stigma that comes with baggage should-be pushed aside.  His baggage isn’t baggage, but the badge of a man who has been there and done that. A man who doesn’t run from responsibility, and isn’t afraid of the words “love, marriage and family.”
  • His badge is of a man who has kissed many boo boos, built pillow forts, is a constant role model to his kids knowing that life is filled with endless possibilities and that real love does exist! He is ready to meet a beautiful person and a good influence on his kids to build his life with.

Take a chance on a divorced Dad, and allow him to show you what makes him so special.  Allow him to show you the man his kids love.  In a dating universe full of guys who may be up to no good, they are the ones who want more than a one-night stand. 

If you are single, in your thirties and looking for a great guy with kids, contact me [email protected] for a chance to meet him.

For a lot of people, finding love is a exasperating, elusive process.  For us Matchmakers, its just another day in the office.  Here’s some of the most important things we’ve learned about finding love and making it last;

  • A question that most people unintentionally ignore is: Do I personally live up to the expectations that I have for someone else? And often the answer is no.  It is easy to come up with a list of ‘must-haves’ in a partner, but it is a lot harder to turn that list around and judge yourself. If you are not passionate about your life, how are you going to attract someone who is? If you are not living your life true to your values, how are you going to attract someone who does?
  • When a client tells us his or her physical ‘musts,’ we like to use the analogy of friends.  Think about your three closest friends. They probably all look extremely different, but they all have qualities in common that you choose to surround yourself with — humor, intellect, empathy, altruism, honesty — whatever it is that you enjoy. When you’re searching for a romantic partner, think about searching for those qualities you enjoy — not just blonde hair or guys taller than 6 feet. Look at a person’s soul. If you like it, hold onto it.
  • We have an idea of the right age and time to get married.  However just because you have been dating someone for a few years, and you are 31 years old, does not mean that you need to get married.  Trust your gut.  If you are not ready to get married, don’t.  We meet people every day who have gone through nasty divorces, if it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right.
  • The hardest part of dating, by far, is finding the someone you truly connect with.  So if you do find that kind of person, don’t let him or her go -be loving enough to work on a solution- even when the going gets rough. 

If you’re currently looking for love and not including Single Moms in your search, you need to read on. You’re not likely to stumble upon a more selfless or loving woman than one who has raised her kids on her own (or mostly on her own). But hey, don’t take it from us, take it from the gals themselves. Here’s a few quotes from what our single mom clients had to say, about their best reasons why you should date them!

  • She moves slowly into dating and relationships.

“I got a lot on my plate, and definitely not sitting around swiping left and right on Tinder. Nor do I have a desperation to rush into things, the most important persons are my kids” That means you may have to take things slow with any gal you date who has kids — but that’s a good thing.

  • It’s not all about her.

“My kids have a wonderful way of putting things into perspective.  If I am going to be the best mom I can be, it isn’t about me” Who wouldn’t appreciate a gal who has learned to be selfless to a fault?!!

  • She’s Responsible.

“I’m fully plugged into my kids’ lives, I accept the obligations and I don’t bad-mouth their dad” That gal will probably be the best woman you’ll ever meet!

  • She’s Sensitive.

“I’ve got little boys and have spent afternoons at the ball park- sure takes a lot of strength to be tough” If you’re the hand-holding type, you’re definitely in luck, she’s more comfortable with physical touch, who wouldn’t be ok with that!!!!.

  • She’s playing for keeps.

“The last thing I want to do is introduce someone to my kids, only to have that person disappear down the road”   She’s not looking to just hook up, and when you think about it, that’s about as good as dating ever gets!

  •  She is Versatile. 

Being a single, working mum means I wear many hats. I am nimble. One minute I am the sexy business professional and the other, the girl next door with her kids at the sports park” 

Whether you are interested or not, Royal Baby madness has gripped which brings up a good question for singles; are you indifferent to having kids?   A common answer from a lot of clients when I ask them if they want children is  “I’m not against kids, I am indifferent.  If my future partner wants kids then I would love to have them.”

For some, it can be a hard time understanding this as having kids is a life-changing event; or the ones stating it , they are just not sure.  Of course no one owes anyone an explanation, but when you are dating it can feel like a big deal.   There are all sorts of reasons why someone, when on a date, admits to being undecided/open as it creates confusion, but when I ask,  the common reason I see most is more the feeling of being rushed or the clock is ticking from someone and that their answer “can go either way” means more….. “NOT RIGHT NOW”.

There are motivations for this ranging from preferring their current lifestyles to prioritizing their careers, and for some it’s a pipe dream, tremendous investment, and that they are not meant to do the parenting thing on their own and want to make sure they have help from a wider village. 

As with all dating deal-breakers, there is no benefit before going further into the dating world with a major issue already in place.  And it can make all the difference when one rarely mentions it and the others position is inflexible.  Its better off  if you are looking for someone you can be with long term, for everyone,  if you’re up front. Kids are a deal-breaker because you can’t have half a kid!

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