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Good Question!……..who can’t!

He’s the Go-to-Guy and the Mr. Fix-it Man, and good to find!

Dating Tip:  A nice guys goal is to make other’s happy!  Especially his girl!

 

 

 

 

 

FACT: A lone-parent is a man or woman who is single, separated, divorced, … Lone-mothers make up 13% of Canadian families, while lone-fathers make up 3%. which means that the odds are pretty good that at least some of them are looking for love.

If dating as a single person can be a messy combination of fun and frustrating, dating as a single mom poses its own unique challenges. We asked some of our brutally honest single mom clients to tell us the truth about what they want prospective dates to know before they try to hook up with them. From rules about sleepovers, and meeting the kids, they didn’t hold anything back!

“Anyone who wants to date me needs to know that he is always going to be my second, maybe third, priority. My kids come first, and my job is a close second since I have to support my kids. I want to be in a relationship, but not if it messes things up for my kids.” —

“I don’t care how romantic our date was, you are NOT getting invited home. I don’t have sex with someone who I’m not married or engaged to under the same roof as my kid. Period. I don’t want her to be hearing or seeing anything she shouldn’t.” –-

“My kid is pretty great, but you don’t get to meet him unless you are around for the long haul. If you ask to meet him and I say ‘no’, that means I’m not sure about you yet.” —

“If you are the type to get jealous that I’m still friendly with an ex, don’t waste your time with me. My ex is my kid’s dad and we’ll always be in contact, so you had better be able to handle that.” —

“My last boyfriend complained that I wasn’t spontaneous enough.  I have a 2-year-old! I can’t run off for a long weekend trip at the drop of a hat.”

“I think the biggest difference between dating before I had a kid and dating now is that I have no patience for drama or game playing. I used to spend months wondering if someone was right for me and playing all the games. Now I just don’t have the time or energy for that. It is either working or not. If it isn’t working, I’m quicker to pull the plug now than I was before.” —

“Believe it or not, I’m not looking for a father for my kid. I’m looking for a partner for me. If we work, then we can talk about whether you’ll be a part of my kid’s life. He has a dad and it isn’t you.” –

“A guy who is going to date a single mom can’t be needy. Don’t expect to always have me answer every call or text. I’m juggling tons of stuff and trying to date too. I’m doing the best I can.” –

“Please be all the way divorced or out of your prior relationship before you call me, especially if you also have kids. I don’t need drama! Dating with kids involved is hard enough without having fresh divorce issues to deal with.” —

“I have a two-strike rule for last-minute cancellations. Getting a babysitter is work and expensive! I can’t handle flakes at this stage of my life. I already have too many plates spinning.” —

“This should be obvious, but don’t date me if you don’t like kids. Ideally, if this goes well, you’d be in my kid’s life on some level, so even if you think I’m great, don’t ask me out if you aren’t okay with the thought of sharing your life with a kid someday.” –

 

Happy Mothers Day to all the Single Moms !

 

In some ways, we are all living Option B.   No one’s life is perfect. The question is when things go wrong in your relationship then what?  You freeze in horror like OMG. You go thru months of grief that follow like a building being torn down in a matter of minutes. Boom. Flattened.  Then keep wishing you could go back to try to fix things but you do not have that option.  Then you rally and realize you do have the option to kick ass with Option B.  Besides when you find romantic happiness again , and you will, well more power to you! 

I feel it everyday. Everyday we help singles who are struggling to rebuild their dating lives.  Its is our attempt to share what we’ve learned over the last 16 years of matchmaking and help our clients make the most of Option B, embrace it, find happiness and start dating again.   

 

“If you’re going through hell, keep going” – Winston Churchill  

 

Social media has changed peoples lives in the ways in which people ask each other out.  Apparently, asking for a phone number is over.  Why? Because people ask for social media info instead!

Even so, recent studies claim the phone call is more intimate than friending someone on Facebook, nobody makes phone calls you just get their phone number to text them, seems to be the new 1st base for singles!  That’s a whole other story! Take note, once you send a text or a photo, it’s sent and forever tied to your digits. Hold that thought, there are other options, check out our friends at “QTeeApp”   http://www.qteeapp.com/   (watch for next blog post).

So, here’s what I have found; there’s a problem when you start digging into others social media and you immediately learn too much about someone and it’s an early turnoff overlooking a chance to get a vibe with you before you dig in too much.  Many singles have shared their online dating stories with me and some say they keep like a dossier on people and then they immediately decide if that person is not for them.  I find that just wrong!  Remember social media representation of the people putting themselves out there, really isn’t an accurate representation of who they are.  Sometimes you build a sense of that person, when you haven’t had a conversation with them, haven’t met them in person, and there is no sense of who that person is and you’ve written them off, without giving them a chance.

Take into account that most people have an idealized life that they post and people don’t put their real lives online, so I am a firm believer you need to see someone, smell them, need to know them; that’s part of what you learn about somebody!  Living proof, The Waiter Rule; You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats the waiter and being rude to waiters ranks No. 1 as the worst in dining etiquette.  You may save yourself a lot of future problems by more “dining out” first dates.

I always encouraged my clients when I send them a profile match that you can’t speed up the process of getting to know that person on paper, you have to do it in person (unless you’re really not looking to hook up) and the reality is you can’t rush it, you have to take the time.

So, still thinking of going ONLINE “Communicating for FREE this Easter weekend and see where it takes you – it’s an Easter weekend of opportunity!” …….. Or is it…….!!!

What do you think?


Haters going to Hate; Anytime I tell someone I am a Matchmaker they immediately rattle off what they hate about dating!  I am no physiologist but I do know after 16 years of matching hooking up singles, everyone likes to complain.  Its not just Politics, bad Wi-Fi, people who celebrate their birthdays for entire week (unless its me), or for some, the Easter Bunny; it can be pretty unpopular.

Well there seems to be a lot to dislike, but then again, dislikes may be the first step to lasting love.  Studies have shown that people seem to come together around things they dislike.  It surprisingly brings people together.  While many other areas of compatibility come into play, its hard for me to relate that dislikes can be relied on for main criteria around connecting people. I match singles based on more in-depth compatibility profiling and is not just based on a simple check list of likes and dislikes.

So, can’t stand the Easter Bunny?  It’s that time of year that we all remember the horrible time your parents dragged you to the mall to sit on the lap of a creepy Easter Bunny. Chances are you remember, because you can never forget it! If you want to avoid that rabbits sugary dark side or head into Spring looking like an Easter egg, find someone similar that does not “do” the Easter bunny, right?

 

Today I am spending a day in the office matching my clients and it made me remember an article I did back in 2003, on the let’s get down to business approach to finding love, one of my favorite articles. Today, I think back and how now these couples seem inseparable, as I see their snapshots on my happy couple’s photo wall. Feeling Grateful!

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