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Give real gifts of love this Christmas

For those of us less fortunate enough not to be in a relationship, the coming of Christmas can present a challenge.   Let’s be honest; whether you care about your single status or not listening to relatives probing about our dating life can be draining, as can finding a home for the mountain of small amusing gifts coming your way.  For example, being in receipt of wall art or badass affirmations books and you immediately file it under a mental tab marked: Single at Christmas, again – sorted.

But there is a solution; And it’s simple –Give a gift of something to someone who needs it– Choose Love.

So, don’t shut out the idea of helping someone find love –give them a real present of love. This week, we have had several calls from people who realize that waiting patiently to let love find you does not have to be the case and this Christmas we are helping caring friends and family buy loved ones appropriate and indulgent matchmaking membership gifts, the thing that someone single actually needs; to go from single to taken!

Presents for single people truly in need; a solution to your Christmas shopping- It’s what we do.

Since you’re here, give us a call to find out more!  [email protected]

love ball and buttons  https://bigloveball.com/

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The new “It Breakup”

We are in that small window of opportunity where it’s still semi-acceptable to break up with someone before we get into the Holidays, but the window is quickly closing. You don’t want to be that person breaking up with someone before Christmas. Before you read this, I want you to think about the last time you were dumped or broke up with someone. I feel like 9 out of 10 times; there are some pretty visible signs that a split is coming. Maybe we see them and choose to ignore them, or perhaps we’re oblivious.

I found many articles on the signs your partner is about to leave you, but I think that there are a lot two pretty definitive ones. For most when they are about to end a relationship, they start changing or improving their physical appearance, or posts start disappearing like a bad habit on their social media accounts.

Dah!  You should have seen that last break up coming a mile away. And if you’re in a relationship and you’re suddenly doing these things, perhaps it’s time to take a long, hard look at if this relationship is working for you. If you’re the one planning to do the dumping and you’re struggling with how to do it, you can always do it with ice cream. According to Vancouver based Nora’s Non-Dairy, “It’s a sweet but savage way to drop someone!”

Thank you, next……….

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HALLOWEEN; The Real Holiday of LOVE

 

Surprisingly forget Valentine’s Day, Halloween is the real festival of LOVE and according to psychologists they say that more people will hook up this weekend than on February 14th.

Why? Its all down to the science of fear and there is fairly good evidence that feeling afraid can trigger the same emotions as sexual arousal.   It’s a good idea to take a date to a horror movie as its acceptable to snuggle into a prospective partner shielding your eyes and that feeling afraid heightens the senses and increases attractiveness and attraction.  No wonder so many holidaymakers fall for their ski-instructors or mountain guides as its impossible to separate feelings of sexual attraction from feelings of fear. A hunky Whistler snow moose ready to help you down that scary black run, will make it so much the better.

I’m always telling my clients its important to do something that scares you every day to grow and feel fulfilled especially when it comes to dating. But this—well it’s likely to help your love life too.

 

 

 

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Weed is a Dating Deal breaker!

Today, the 1st day that POT is legal in Canada, we wanted to share how serious of a deal breaker it can be when it comes to your love life.  Our data, we’ve been asking our clients for years now proves it and no, we’re not high (right now).

First things first; we discovered when it comes to dating -people are okay with their partners smoking weed…if they’re not currently using it. The most popular response was preferring their partners to have experienced the ~crazy effects~ of weed in the past, but not currently partaking.  We’ve learned a lot. And we’re continuing to learn more — about you, that is. So today, we’ve added some new pointy questions to our interview process. A few examples:

 

  • Are you 420 friendly? Medical vs casual recreational
  • Do you ever use marijuana to get ‘high’ as the equivalent to getting ‘drunk’?
  • Is smoking marijuana a fun first date?

 

I’m like the most of us, not criticizing, judging or asking to dispute it, we are just trying to imagine just how this will all play out for our clients and their criteria when it comes to matching them.

 

CONCLUSION; Weed has more to do with your love life than you think.

 

Your thoughts?

 

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Dating; Step Outside the “Border”

We have all heard the stories.  First dates costing more than $2000 after spending months of online back and forth messaging, hours of late-night phone calls, and then finally booking a flight and deciding to meet.  Such long-distance romances use to grow out of fateful encounters on holidays, or perhaps far-flung business meetings but today a growing number of cross-border courtships, some owed to an instant message across time zones, is becoming not about what to wear on your date— it’s what to pack!

Statistics show that 52% of Canadian on-line daters have e-mailed someone out of country in the past 30 days.  I have also seen a spike in Matchmaking clients open to long-distance dating; after starting out searching within five miles of their postal code and as they get more comfortable they stop limiting themselves so much and more open to step outside the “border”.

This city’s only so big, and when the girl next door is no longer next door, its nice to open up the possibilities for my clients by working with other accredited “Cupids” from other cities.  This summer I’ve relied on connections with fellow cupids from Seattle, San Fran, San Diego, New York, London UK and of course continue working with my fellow Canadian ones all the way east to Toronto with some great success.

That’s certainly the case for our affiliate Matchmaker friend Ali Migliore of Simply Matchmaking in Seattle.  “There is definitely an infinite number of single people here open to dates from other cities and this summer, I knew I had to connect with Jane about an amazing client I had in Seattle who was open to expanding her search to the Vancouver area.  By us both knowing our clients so well, we were able to come up with a great match and our clients met and both said it was the best match yet! Looking forward to dozens of more potential romances happening with the help of our cross-border cupids at Matchmaker for Hire.”

Of course, expectations are always heightened when a plane fare is actually involved and its easy to feel cheated if the romance doesn’t work out (this kind of dating isn’t for the faint of wallet) – plus there’s added pressure if it does.  But for some, however the distance is a bonus and that not being around someone all the time can be ok if you are just as busy as they are.

So, if your tolerance to being uprooted is increased, let your Matchmaker know.

 

Jane Carstens –Matchmaker for Hire- Western Cda                   

 Ali Migliore – Simply Matchmaking – Seattle

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What your Favorite Thanksgiving Dish says about your Dating Style

Bonding with your loved ones over the holiday weekend is the stuff memories are made of, but if you want to take it to the next level invite a special someone to join in.  There will be more people to share special times with, take some of the pressure off you, and you can peg your person’s type based on their favorite holiday eats so you know exactly what sort of relationship you’re in for before you go for seconds.

Here’s what can you deduce from their favorite dish?

  1. Turkey: White meat- Traditionalist who falls asleep after sex. Dark meat-thinks they are edgy, but still a traditionalist who falls asleep after sex.  Turducken-Congrats you are dating a crazy person. This is going to be fun while it lasts, though!
  2. Mashed Potatoes: lovable, if a little boring and also lumpy. Probably loves to cuddle.
  3. Salad: Will probably make you run a marathon for your anniversary.
  4. Bread: Possibly a little flaky, but easily delighted. You could do worse.
  5. Gravy: Probably a sloppy kisser.
  6. Pie: Pumpkin-this person is more likely a romantic, who loves the pomp of the holidays (probably loves Valentine’s day too). Pecan-This person is not fooling around if it’s dessert it’s going to be a butter, sugary haven of one. Probably wants to have sex all the time.

 

Well, what’s your favorite…and what are you in for?

 

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Altogether Lovely – MEET Maria !

Meet Maria; She enjoys the freedom to meet her friends in the middle of the day, take Monday’s off and lives a great life in James Bay, Victoria. 

Because she believes so strongly that she needed a unique approach to find her soul mate, Maria was reluctant to try online.  Afraid she’d “sound desperate” and she didn’t want to sound like every other single person out there.  At the same time, it was difficult to find the one. Something had to change.

For her, Matchmaking was both authentic and compelling to finding the right one.

So here you go,  Meet Maria!  If you are a 60+ gent living on Vancouver Island  message me to find out more [email protected]

As seen in the Victoria Times Colonist – Sunday September 16th, 2018

 

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The Labour of LOVE

If it wasn’t for love, I’d be out of business.  Whether through disappointment, pain, betrayal, abandonment or the ongoing struggle to keep it alive, LOVE fuels every text, email, and phone call to my mailbox.

You might imagine that such a job, exposed daily to the devastated landscape of our broken dreams, would turn a person to cynicism or agonising thoughts.  Instead my client’s anguishes offer me comfort: access to the intimate detail of other’s lives consistently proves that our greatest motivator what we’re consumed by down the decades, isn’t money, success, power or even plain survival, but finding a safe place where we feel protected by the embrace of those we love.

Now I am not exposed much to the glorious beginnings of any relationship, the days full of giddy excitement, heart palpitations and the hope.  My business is at the back end of that story, digging about in its wake; failed love and all the many ways that love betrays our optimism.

In love’s aftermath that you witness the immense fragility – whether a bereaved parent or a broken-hearted lover – and understand that we are shaped and formed, built and broken by our desire to be connected to each other in meaningful ways.

Personally, I’ve always been as confused about love as anyone – probably more so.  I know matchmaking clients for 16 years has in some ways caught me up to where some peoples understanding was already!  And I’m only partly joking about that.  Overall, the stories have made me feel grateful about what I have and make me want to aspire to do better.

Jane Carstens

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Summer Flings — they don’t last!

 

It’s that summer loving that can be a blast….so perhaps it’s no real surprise that, according to Facebook, most users change their status to “Single” to mingle during the summer months.

Some say it was great while it lasted, partly because the season lent itself to tons of activities, weekends filled with weddings, barbecues, rooftop cocktail parties, or the first and last time you’ve tried to have sex on the beach! All are more opportunities as a result to meet more ‘friend of a friend’ people and date them.  Summer relationships typically do cool off in the fall, but you can’t blame the season.

My advice now that fall is approaching is to pay attention to your standards rather than just being happy you’ve met someone to go out with!

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Friday is GUY-day! Meet my Bachelor

Friday is GUY-day: Ladies and Gents we introduce you to our new series. #guydayfriday .This is my Victoria based client and he has a career in finance, is a traveler & coffee lover. Get to know him here and contact me to meet him;  [email protected] 

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