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If you’re Skeptical, you’re Missing Out.

 

You miss out 100% on the chances you don’t take. Wayne Gretzky appears to be the earliest attributed source of this particular expression.  It makes sense when you have a goal or a dream, but you don’t take a shot at it, you miss the opportunity to score, to win, or to get what you want.

In dating, despite what singles tell themselves, there really are endless opportunities to find love. Unfortunately , too often they’re missed. In fact, if you ask any Matchmaker today, its precisely because of such lost opportunities and missed connections with singles, that is giving cause to look back and wonder “what if”.  Maybe you just don’t want to—while they have every quality you could ever want in someone, there is value in reflecting a little bit on what exactly was missing.

Moral of the story; As I write this, I regularly wonder of the potential missed connections singles are making. Plain and simple, if you’re skeptical, you’re missing out.

Take a chance—open up to possibility by making yourself available.  You Never know!

 

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Getting Matchy-Matchy

It’s a fact we tend to want to fit in with the person we are dating. Sure, we are all unique, but we want to, as a couple, look untied and as if we “fit”.

You confirm to the environment that you’re in – so it’s only natural that when you’re dating someone, even automatically without knowing – you will start to change your style even a bit so that you blend in with them. Its generally not until you look back at old photos or someone makes a comment that you will realize, they’ve actually taken place.

You’re attracted to your partner for a reason and by being in a relationship with them you’re indirectly saying, “I like the way you do things”.  This isn’t restricted to just the wardrobe either.  If your partner is hell bent on curling chances are you’ve given it a go yourself, or at least watched a couple of games. Same goes in the kitchen, you might be great at cooking Asian, so your partner will probably take on some of your techniques.

But by all means if it gets to the point where you have lost your sense of identity, then you have to wonder whether you are taking on theses attributes because you’re a really great couple, or because you want so desperately for the relationship to work.

After all nobody wants to date themselves, that would be boring.

Can you relate?

 

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Everyone Makes Mistakes in Dating

 

How many of you can honestly say they haven’t made a few mistakes when they meet someone new?  Sometimes good people make bad choices.  It doesn’t mean they are bad….it means they are human. You learn from them and go on because a mistake is one thing. A pattern is another.

There are loads of reasons why getting to a 2nd date might not work out. Perhaps you’re just plain old incompatible, or you’re not sure how to avoid falling foul of these oh-so-frequent behaviours we hear from the 1st dates we set up with our clients.

  • Idealizing your date-Do you actually like them, or are you projecting some dreamed-up version of a perfect match? Putting someone on a pedestal is setting them up for failure. No one can live up to an imagined list.
  • Following your Hormones not your heart–We get it-it’s been a long few years of lockdown and you’re feeling frisky, but don’t dive into intimacy too quickly. Hormones and attachment patterns get us in hook, line, and sinker, almost instantly- whether this is a suitable person or not.
  • Failing to see their flaws-This ties in with the first 2 pitfalls- Ask yourself: are you seeing this person through rose-tinted, loved-up glasses? It’s all too easy to fail to check out ( we don’t mean their social media ) if the person is who they say they are and what they want.

We all learn from our ‘mistakes”, sometimes a very painful lesson, especially in dating.

But others judging is their “mistake”.

Do you have a story to share?

 

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