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For most singles, the New Year is the most proactive season to get out and find love. We all have rituals round many things in our life, and I myself will recommit to conscious eating and more exercise.  This being a seemingly endless season of difficulty and uncertainty for everyone—and yet, as is always the case, singles have never had more of a desire to find love.

So, to mark the passing of 2021 and to ring in 2022, I’m sending you this New Year’s inspired reminder, along with a dating challenge.  Start with an inventory of  lists and in place of resolutions, desire your way into a New Year of dating consciously.

Your challenge:

  1. What parts of dating in the last year worked for you, big or small ?
  2. What did last years dating euphoria leave you yearning for ?
  3. What’s behind you dating anxiety from the most mundane to the dreaded?
  4. What safe dating resources and practices saw you thru that you can rely on in 2022 ?
  5. What would a version of your “wildest dream” date look like, no matter how unrealistic ?

 

Leave a comment

 

With the new variants and current global climate, we’re in a new stage and phase of dating and there is nothing wrong with you if that’s where your mind is going or if love is what you’re seeking.  We are all trying to get by.

Dating experts and matchmakers- myself included- would advise that it is in every singles best interest to meet a potential match in real life as soon as possible, to avoid wasting your time and emotional energy investing in someone you many not have chemistry with.

For starters, now’s your chance to focus on quality over quantity.  Dating apps have always dictated the more the merrier, and many users are often talking to various people at once, continually looking for the next best thing and moving on to another at the first sign of boredom or doubt. In matchmaking and real life, you allow yourself to open up and engage with one person, dive deeper into less superficial conversations, therefore creating stronger connections, to roll with it and see what can come.

Which brings me to my next point if you’re looking for love: the more that you’re not distracted by dating apps usual fast pace, you can see a missed connection for what it is.  Go with what makes you feel comfortable, and just because you know other singles are hopping on the FaceTime/Zoom/phone call/texting bandwagon, doesn’t mean you have to follow suit.

The media & TV, you see, contributes to the failure of many relationship expectations around the world.  Glamorizing and magnifying fairy tales that cause us – women especially- to have unrealistic expectations about how successful romantic relationships are found and maintained and when you think dating becomes a challenging situation it becomes pervasive in your life.

Sometimes the impact is so great that it has virtually obliterated thoughts around dating creating worst case scenarios leaving singles exhausted and sabotaging their own relationship goals that you can’t get out.  How whacked is that?

Fortunately, there are several methods to stop this trouble-making pattern of thought – which over the last 20 years, I got to share with many of my matchmaking clients.  Getting back to traditional ways involving two people who are actually suitable for each other (imagine that) and who, with a little help from extended support often build a successful relationship…..over time.

Let’s be honest, not everyone is prepared for the full matchmaking experience and that’s okay —knowing a thing or two about what works and just having someone there to help can make all the difference.

Email me [email protected]   for a complimentary call and I can tell you more about my new offer, Matchmaker on Demand.

 

There is no secret in finding the right partner (we do it everyday)!

Thanks so much to hosts Robin Farrell & Chelsea Smith on their very popular Vancouver Island hosted podcast “Don’t Mind if We Do”.  Come join us. There is always room for one more at their table and we shared a lot of laughs and fun chatting ways on how to take the guesswork out of finding your person in the landscape of todays dating.

 

Need some help or know someone who does?  Send them the link below and have a listen. Episode 9 “Matchmaker Matchmaker…Make me a Match!”

https://podfollow.com/dont-mind-if-we-do/view

 

If you loved it please follow us and share with a friend!

As you might have heard, your main man Santa is back and on the market.  Here are a couple of the many reasons he’s actually a total catch. 

  1. He has the best beard of any man you will ever meet
  2. He’s really buff under all that velour
  3. He’ll never forget to get you presents and knows exactly what you want
  4. He’s great with animals, especially moody reindeer
  5. His ride is a flying magical sleigh

Signed;   Private Matchmaker for Santa

We are in that small window of opportunity where it’s still semi-acceptable to break up with someone before we get into the Holidays, but the window is quickly closing. You don’t want to be that person breaking up with someone before Christmas. Before you read this, I want you to think about the last time you were dumped or broke up with someone. I feel like 9 out of 10 times; there are some pretty visible signs that a split is coming. Maybe we see them and choose to ignore them, or perhaps we’re oblivious.

I found many articles on the signs your partner is about to leave you, but I think that there are a lot two pretty definitive ones. For most when they are about to end a relationship, they start changing or improving their physical appearance, or posts start disappearing like a bad habit on their social media accounts.

Dah!  You should have seen that last break up coming a mile away. And if you’re in a relationship and you’re suddenly doing these things, perhaps it’s time to take a long, hard look at if this relationship is working for you. If you’re the one planning to do the dumping and you’re struggling with how to do it, you can always do it with ice cream. According to Vancouver based Nora’s Non-Dairy, “It’s a sweet but savage way to drop someone!”

Thank you, next……….

 

Surprisingly forget Valentine’s Day, Halloween is the real festival of LOVE and according to psychologists they say that more people will hook up this weekend than on February 14th.

Why? Its all down to the science of fear and there is fairly good evidence that feeling afraid can trigger the same emotions as sexual arousal.   It’s a good idea to take a date to a horror movie as its acceptable to snuggle into a prospective partner shielding your eyes and that feeling afraid heightens the senses and increases attractiveness and attraction.  No wonder so many holidaymakers fall for their ski-instructors or mountain guides as its impossible to separate feelings of sexual attraction from feelings of fear. A hunky Whistler snow moose ready to help you down that scary black run, will make it so much the better.

I’m always telling my clients its important to do something that scares you every day to grow and feel fulfilled especially when it comes to dating. But this—well it’s likely to help your love life too.

 

 

 

Bonding with your loved ones over the holiday weekend is the stuff memories are made of, but if you want to take it to the next level invite a special someone to join in.  There will be more people to share special times with, take some of the pressure off you, and you can peg your person’s type based on their favorite holiday eats so you know exactly what sort of relationship you’re in for before you go for seconds.

Here’s what can you deduce from their favorite dish?

  1. Turkey: White meat- Traditionalist who falls asleep after sex. Dark meat-thinks they are edgy, but still a traditionalist who falls asleep after sex.  Turducken-Congrats you are dating a crazy person. This is going to be fun while it lasts, though!
  2. Mashed Potatoes: lovable, if a little boring and also lumpy. Probably loves to cuddle.
  3. Salad: Will probably make you run a marathon for your anniversary.
  4. Bread: Possibly a little flaky, but easily delighted. You could do worse.
  5. Gravy: Probably a sloppy kisser.
  6. Pie: Pumpkin-this person is more likely a romantic, who loves the pomp of the holidays (probably loves Valentine’s day too). Pecan-This person is not fooling around if it’s dessert it’s going to be a butter, sugary haven of one. Probably wants to have sex all the time.

 

Well, what’s your favorite…and what are you in for?

 

If it wasn’t for love, I’d be out of business.  Whether through disappointment, pain, betrayal, abandonment or the ongoing struggle to keep it alive, LOVE fuels every text, email, and phone call to my mailbox.

You might imagine that such a job, exposed daily to the devastated landscape of our broken dreams, would turn a person to cynicism or agonising thoughts.  Instead my client’s anguishes offer me comfort: access to the intimate detail of other’s lives consistently proves that our greatest motivator what we’re consumed by down the decades, isn’t money, success, power or even plain survival, but finding a safe place where we feel protected by the embrace of those we love.

Now I am not exposed much to the glorious beginnings of any relationship, the days full of giddy excitement, heart palpitations and the hope.  My business is at the back end of that story, digging about in its wake; failed love and all the many ways that love betrays our optimism.

In love’s aftermath that you witness the immense fragility – whether a bereaved parent or a broken-hearted lover – and understand that we are shaped and formed, built and broken by our desire to be connected to each other in meaningful ways.

Personally, I’ve always been as confused about love as anyone – probably more so.  I know matchmaking clients for 16 years has in some ways caught me up to where some peoples understanding was already!  And I’m only partly joking about that.  Overall, the stories have made me feel grateful about what I have and make me want to aspire to do better.

Jane Carstens

 

It’s that summer loving that can be a blast….so perhaps it’s no real surprise that, according to Facebook, most users change their status to “Single” to mingle during the summer months.

Some say it was great while it lasted, partly because the season lent itself to tons of activities, weekends filled with weddings, barbecues, rooftop cocktail parties, or the first and last time you’ve tried to have sex on the beach! All are more opportunities as a result to meet more ‘friend of a friend’ people and date them.  Summer relationships typically do cool off in the fall, but you can’t blame the season.

My advice now that fall is approaching is to pay attention to your standards rather than just being happy you’ve met someone to go out with!