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I am about to celebrate a birthday.  Which one, I will not tell, but I don’t feel any older, other than just another day where I have to remember to change the digit when people ask how old I am.  But enough about my birthday!

Birthdays are like your own personal national holiday; the one day a year when you’ve gathered the most important people in your life and they celebrate in your honor, and pretty much let you do whatever you want. With today’s restrictions where family is far away, and friends feel distant it makes you feel damn alone and as single as ever.

So, if you think that spending your birthday single is terrifying, here’s a few reasons exactly why you have to do it.

  • You don’t have to stress, it’s the single most selfish day of the year.
  • You’re free to stop and appreciate all the little things you come across on your solo adventure.
  • And being alone leaves you with no option other than to be brave; it will remind you of how naturally it is to be social (no social media) and talk to more people, socially distanced and you never know who you might meet that will turn your birthday from a status of single to taken.

There is no secret to finding the right partner (we do it everyday). In fact, singles have been eager to get back out there just 6 weeks into lockdown and we have had many relationships bloom despite restrictions, in mindful socially distanced ways.  It’s a new chapter you should enter with as much positivity, persistence, patience and clarity as you can.

Happy Birthday!

With so many people working from home, 2020 was not the most social year.  A lot of us got accustomed to dating via zoom meetings, others, craving an opportunity to get out and meet someone new doing patio drinks, or socially distance walks. 

In Canada, there has been caveats and province to province there has been snags.   East of Alberta has mostly been closed to all drink/dining out with second lockdowns in less than a year, but the West Coast was open with protocols and it has affected the way we access meeting other singles.  As a matchmaker for almost 2 decades, it has felt like a weird time because everything has happened, and nothing has happened, but it feels like we are finally moving in the right direction and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

This past year, we have seen the dating landscape shift in unexpected ways to all new approaches to relationships and we predict that more changes are coming.  A lot of the daters I speak to have a dating-related resolution for 2021, which include taking things slower and raising the bar when it comes to vetting matches.  Over the past year, most feel the pandemic has given them an abundance of time to focus on themselves, having more confidence to say what is, and is not right for them in their dating life. It has made singles think that having a sound communication and compatibility in a relationship is much more important than just intimacy.  And singles seeking long-term or serious relationships are willing to give multiple chances to the same person that they are dating and that they will stop using dating apps if they get serious. 

One of the most powerful things I learned from my clients was that while you are not in control of everything that happens to you, you are in control of the meaning it gives when it comes to dating and finding love.

If you experience life while looking for love with the understanding that you are authoring the story it will allow you to make the brave decisions rather than “seeing what happens” and *reacting* to it. 

When you can conceive that obstacles (like a not so great first date) are not the end, and merely a chapter, it makes them easier to overcome.   Its like knowing you can write the antagonist out of a plot simply by changing the decisions he/she will make, and the storyline will flow.  Realizing you have a choice to make a circumstance either end the principle character or make he/she stronger,  you will start looking for creative ways you can overcome things, rather than questioning if you would.

I am not sure what you are going thru with your dating experiences, my friends, but I just wanted to remind you that you are holding the pen……

Even if you’re pretty sure you’re hitting it off with someone, the signs of a good first date aren’t always easy to recognize,  but it’s a safe bet if you both add extra time to your parking meter 😊

While most people probably define a “good date” as one that leads to more dates down the line, that’s not the only or best way to look at it.  What we like to tell our clients is that it’s totally ok if it doesn’t lead to a second.  Don’t get me wrong it can be disappointing if a first date doesn’t turn into a second, but having a good first date is a self-confidence booster.  It can remind you that it’s fine to go out and have fun with someone interesting, rather than staying home staring at your phone.  They can’t all lead to love, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be good fun!

If you are finding more often than not, a date with the same person doesn’t go past one or two dates, it’s time to manage your expectations and cast a wider net.  Here are some tips to having more fun on first dates;

  1. Instead of auditioning to be partner material, you should just go, have fun and bring the best and happiest version of you to the table.
  2. Don’t take anything personally, and  you shouldn’t let one bad date sour your views towards dating.
  3. Don’t get trapped in the job interview date, they are awkward and high stress.
  4. Try to plan a date that is active in some way – good dates are always interactive.
  5. Take comfort in the idea that everyone is uncomfortable, and that is a learning experience. The more you grow, the better a dater you will be. The better a dater you are, the better the fit will be when you do land the relationship.

Me? I’m an optimist- from the unique moments of my clients connecting.

While the stars are in your favor, the Spring Equinox is the perfect time to shake things up a little – rejuvenate stale relationships, get your love life together, and go on a new dating adventure.

So, make the most of the Spring Equinox with a few tips of inspiration for a new romantic pursuit ;

  • Make it happen!  If you haven’t been on a date in a while , set one up.   If you’ve been feeling discouraged with your dating life, your time off from the dating scene will allow you to jump back in with a new excitement and optimism.
  • Do a different kind of date night. Step outside the regular routine of dinner or bars, and try something totally different.
  • Tell your crush that you like them…. I know this can sometimes feel like the scariest thing in the world – instead of being scared of your fears remember the best-case scenario can happen, too.

In short, take full advantage of the Spring Equinox and remember to give yourself realistic timelines and goals and the time to enjoy it is now.

Bring. It. On!