Tag Archive for: #matchmakerforhire

 

How often have I heard people say that “dating is hard work”? Too many times!

Admittedly, at some point, these anecdotes can sound like a broken record on repeat, but like any other record out there, there’s real substance inside it that you need to hear.

It is true that dating and finding your person is tough work and that it is an undertaking you can’t just get out of. However, instead of focusing on the “tough” parts, why don’t we focus on how you can improve your dating life.

DATE SOMEONE WHO IS HAPPY.

Of course, HAPPY is not a constant but find someone who doesn’t have their default permanently set on panic, fight or flight or victim mode.

 

 

 

 

Here is a favorite of  the Matchmaker for Hire team — to be enjoyed whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day with a partner, family, or simply dedicating the holiday to yourself.

 

Mark Twain & Olivia Langdon: 36 Years of Love, Laughter, and Devotion

When Mark Twain married Olivia Langdon, he told a friend:

“If I had known how happy married life could be, I would have wed 30 years ago instead of wasting time growing teeth.”

He was 32.

Twain—born Samuel Clemens—grew up in a modest family, working from a young age. He started as a printer’s apprentice, became a riverboat pilot, tried his luck at silver mining (and failed spectacularly), before finally finding his true calling as a writer. His sharp wit and storytelling brilliance made him famous across America.

It was around this time that he fell in love—not with Olivia at first, but with her portrait. A friend showed Twain a locket with her image and later invited him to meet her in person. Within two weeks, Twain proposed.

Olivia liked him, but she was hesitant. He was ten years older, rough around the edges, lacked the refinement of her wealthy, cultured circle, and had not a penny to his name. She admired his talent but turned him down.

Twain, ever persistent, proposed again. Another refusal—this time, she cited his lack of religious devotion. He responded with his signature humor and sincerity: “If that’s what it takes, I’ll become a good Christian.”

Despite her refusals, Olivia was already in love with him. But Twain, convinced he had no chance, left.

On his way to the train station, his carriage overturned. Seizing the moment, Twain played up his injuries and was brought back to Olivia’s home. As she cared for him, he made one final proposal.

This time, she said yes.

A Marriage of Devotion

Twain made every effort to please his deeply religious wife. He read the Bible to her every evening and said grace before meals. Knowing she disapproved of some of his stories, he never submitted them for publication, accumulating over 15,000 unpublished pages. Olivia became his first editor and toughest critic—so much so that when she came across the phrase “Damn it!” in Huckleberry Finn, she made him remove it.

Their daughter, Susy, once summed them up perfectly:

“Mama loves morality. Papa loves cats.”

Twain adored Olivia. He once wrote, “If she told me wearing socks was immoral, I would stop wearing them immediately.” She called him her “gray-haired boy” and watched over him like a child. He, in turn, credited her with preserving his energy, optimism, and youthful spirit.

Olivia, for her part, loved his humor. One day, Twain was laughing so loudly that she asked what book had amused him so much. Still chuckling, he handed it to her. She glanced at the cover—it was one of his own books.

Love Through Hardship

Their life together was not without heartbreak. They lost children. Twain went bankrupt. But while his indomitable optimism kept him afloat, Olivia’s unshakable faith gave her strength. They never turned against each other—Twain never once raised his voice at Olivia, and she never once scolded him.

Twain was fiercely protective of her. When a close friend made a joke at Olivia’s expense, Twain nearly ended their friendship over it. And when Twain set off on a round-the-world tour at sixty, Olivia—knowing he needed constant care—left everything behind to accompany him.

For one of her birthdays, Twain wrote: “Each day we spend together only strengthens my certainty that we will never regret intertwining our lives. With each passing year, I love you even more, my darling. Let us look forward—toward future anniversaries, toward growing old—without fear or sorrow.”

It was a love built on laughter, devotion, and deep understanding—a bond that remained unshaken until the very end.

 

I must admit most singles I speak to are happy to say goodbye to a year of chaotic dating and welcome in a new more exciting one. Most say, in 2025 they will use the dating apps less and try to find their own meet-cute moments foraging brand new connections that will be emotionally deeper than what a handful of first dates will get you online.

But before you step into 2025, now is the best time to reflect on your dating wins & flaws, over the last year that you can work on while preparing for the year ahead.    What you might need to do differently to succeed, or do you need to make dating and your relationship a greater priority in 2025?

Take a few minutes to think about these few points to become a better dater.  It’s a small investment of time to set yourself up to make 2025 the best year yet to find your chosen one.

  • Remind me that I should treat everyone I date with respect and do everything out of love.
  • Show me how to control my emotions so that I don’t trauma dump on others.
  • Remind me to practice what I preach and surround myself with people that align with me that strive for betterment in their dating lives.

This can be very personal for some but don’t worry, none of us are perfect.  You can endeavour to spread some light and positivity into the world of dating and make 2025 your best year yet!

 

If you need some help to uncover and eliminate what’s holding you back, reach out to me, I can help [email protected]

 

When you first start dating someone, it can be exciting to discover that you have a lot in common.

CS LEWIS says Friendships start with the explicit or implicit statement, “you too?”

You love this painting too, you like this music too, you had the same experience with your parents too.  You see relationships start when there’s two people looking at the same thing and they have it in common…… “you too”. And that’s the beginning of a particular kind of relationship intimacy it brings.

However, it is important to be open-minded and accept differences that aren’t deal-breakers.  Being able to appreciate and respect each other’s unique interests, perspectives and backgrounds can take things to the next level.

 

 

 

 

In the present dating society, hardly anyone has time to actually even meet someone, let alone find ways to make the process smooth for you and the people you date. It’s not a one-size-fits-all solution but it can provide a strong foundation for a lasting, meaningful relationship.

There are 3 levels of friendship, and if you get stuck at lower levels it’s going to be a problem, especially for your dating life.

  • The lowest level is friendship of transaction. There is nothing wrong with it — it’s just incomplete. If that’s all you have you will be hopelessly lonely.
  • Above that is friendships of beauty, that are based on admiration of another person. You just want to be around them, they’re magnetic, it could be because of their physical beauty, sense of humor, intelligence, or success, but if that beauty goes away, so does the friendship.
  • The friendship that actually brings satisfaction is called the friendship of virtue…. its cosmically beautifully useless……its one where you have the greatest amount of knowledge about each other, because you’re truly interested in each other, your truly known because you truly want to know, and visa versa, you are loving them for them, and they are loving you for you. It is the hardest, thus why it’s virtuous, and the ultimate secret to the happiest life.

I have noticed that for most of the singles I speak to, including me, surrendering is often the hardest thing to do.  And to be realistic, it’s hard to entirely step away from hustle-culture when you are in a life you are passionate about and a romantic relationship you want to progress in.

Well, that hustle-culture has finally hit dating.  And when things are not going the way, we wanted them to, then we give up.  We think that something is wrong with us or the person we’re meant for or the love we are desiring to find, doesn’t exist.

If this is you, imagine this VALENTINE’S DAY to consider your journey to attracting romantic love. It’s like driving, you’re on a journey and when you meet your love you’ll be excited and know that there will be detours along the way (unfavorable dates, no one calling you back, not asking you out on a second or third date, emotionally unavailable singles, etc.) and that you may have to do things differently than you had preferred, and it may take you longer to get to him/her than you expected but eventually you’ll meet and you’ll be so happy that you didn’t give up.

So, decide that from now on if your dating life is unfolding in a certain way and the only reason you are resisting is because of a personal preference, why not let go of that preference and let life be in charge.

I’m confident it’s the most powerful thing that you can do.

 

It’s almost Christmas time again and, to borrow the words of a famous disco hit in the 70’s “Love is in the air”.   And its a well-known fact that love is “in the air” every Christmas. It features in songs we hear as we shop, commercials we see, and present in the cards we send and the words we write on the tags we attach to the presents we give.  With Love From……

But when you read them phrase by phrase, and apply them to yourself, if you are single, they can transpose into a different key altogether. It can cease to be rhetorically pleasing and emotionally soothing;  instead, they become a deeply challenging analysis of your single life.

Perhaps that’s not what we expected this Christmas time….but when romantic love visits you again, I pray it stays till next Christmas.

 

 

                                                                                         

One word:  LOVE —  It’s ingrained in my mind and heart and guides my thinking, everyday.

But for some singles, it can feel like a hard word.  Which can actually be good for you, as it can give cause to stop, pause and think, “Love”.  Even when it’s hard and feels almost unattainable like a pie-in-the-sky kind of emotional crutch,  in your world.

Which is why I’m thankful in knowing in no uncertain terms what love looks like.

Here’s what I have learned;

  • Sometimes love looks like waiting,
  • Sometimes love looks like listening,
  • Sometimes love makes us uncomfortable,
  • Sometimes love is exhausting.

And yet LOVE continues toward the purpose it was given.

 

Can you explain LOVE in one sentence ?

 

                                                                     

We are on the search for a Vancouver Bachelor for our Vancouver Bachelorette.

 

Meet Bachelorette B, a fun loving, smart educational professional in her 30’s.  Brimming with positive energy and intellectual curiosity, she enjoys reading, drinking coffee and is active in sailing, cycling, and running on the seawall with her dog.  Bachelorette B is a nurturing woman who loves cooking for her friends. She is funny , kind, adventurous and is a real gem!

 

Her ideal matches are guys 35-45, who are smart, genuinely kind, funny, quirky guys.  She’s very open and wants to fall in love with his brain and would like to have a family. Prefer Vancouver area (but lower mainland ok too).

Interested ?  For more information please DM or email [email protected]

 

 

 

Dating takes resilience.  And the more opportunities you give yourself, the better the chances you’ll find that person.  So maybe its not so surprising and even more encouraging that 90% of the singles I speak to who believe in true love say they know this because they have experienced it.  It’s the strongest emotion we’ll ever feel. So, I set off and researched what professors are saying.  So here you go;

Scientists say that there are three stages of love- lust, romantic obsession, and long-term attachment. 

Stage 1; Let’s start with LUST (who wouldn’t) and that took me to the beach at spring break in Fort Lauderdale….can you relate?

Stage 2; Romantic obsession, or attraction. You’re obsessed, it takes over your whole life, like a state of need, you can’t eat, sleep, or think straight. Sounds like a scene from a movie.  Can’t imagine a world with everyone in that state of romantic obsession. We’d all be nuts.

Stage 3; Which is why, with any luck, romantic obsession becomes Attachment. So, I reconnected with a couple I matched 20 years ago, that was certainly still attached with a combined 4 children, 15 grandchildren, and a couple of great grandchildren.

I came away from this with a renewed sense that true love does really exist. Part of being a matchmaker is, you know, trying to solve the unsolvable. What brings two singles together? What makes people stay together?  I guess there are no real-life answers as there is there is no research on the work that it takes to sustain it over a long period of time. I’m not sure why, maybe because it boring!!!!….like the day in and day out of who’s getting the toilet paper.

 

Your comments?

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