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For most singles, the New Year is the most proactive season to get out and find love. We all have rituals round many things in our life, and I myself will recommit to conscious eating and more exercise.  This being a seemingly endless season of difficulty and uncertainty for everyone—and yet, as is always the case, singles have never had more of a desire to find love.

So, to mark the passing of 2021 and to ring in 2022, I’m sending you this New Year’s inspired reminder, along with a dating challenge.  Start with an inventory of  lists and in place of resolutions, desire your way into a New Year of dating consciously.

Your challenge:

  1. What parts of dating in the last year worked for you, big or small ?
  2. What did last years dating euphoria leave you yearning for ?
  3. What’s behind you dating anxiety from the most mundane to the dreaded?
  4. What safe dating resources and practices saw you thru that you can rely on in 2022 ?
  5. What would a version of your “wildest dream” date look like, no matter how unrealistic ?

 

Leave a comment

 

With the new variants and current global climate, we’re in a new stage and phase of dating and there is nothing wrong with you if that’s where your mind is going or if love is what you’re seeking.  We are all trying to get by.

Dating experts and matchmakers- myself included- would advise that it is in every singles best interest to meet a potential match in real life as soon as possible, to avoid wasting your time and emotional energy investing in someone you many not have chemistry with.

For starters, now’s your chance to focus on quality over quantity.  Dating apps have always dictated the more the merrier, and many users are often talking to various people at once, continually looking for the next best thing and moving on to another at the first sign of boredom or doubt. In matchmaking and real life, you allow yourself to open up and engage with one person, dive deeper into less superficial conversations, therefore creating stronger connections, to roll with it and see what can come.

Which brings me to my next point if you’re looking for love: the more that you’re not distracted by dating apps usual fast pace, you can see a missed connection for what it is.  Go with what makes you feel comfortable, and just because you know other singles are hopping on the FaceTime/Zoom/phone call/texting bandwagon, doesn’t mean you have to follow suit.

We have all heard the stories.  First dates costing more than $2000 after spending months of online back and forth messaging, hours of late-night phone calls, and then finally booking a flight and deciding to meet.  Such long-distance romances use to grow out of fateful encounters on holidays, or perhaps far-flung business meetings but today a growing number of cross-border courtships, some owed to an instant message across time zones, is becoming not about what to wear on your date— it’s what to pack!

Statistics show that 52% of Canadian on-line daters have e-mailed someone out of country in the past 30 days.  I have also seen a spike in Matchmaking clients open to long-distance dating; after starting out searching within five miles of their postal code and as they get more comfortable they stop limiting themselves so much and more open to step outside the “border”.

This city’s only so big, and when the girl next door is no longer next door, its nice to open up the possibilities for my clients by working with other accredited “Cupids” from other cities.  This summer I’ve relied on connections with fellow cupids from Seattle, San Fran, San Diego, New York, London UK and of course continue working with my fellow Canadian ones all the way east to Toronto with some great success.

That’s certainly the case for our affiliate Matchmaker friend Ali Migliore of Simply Matchmaking in Seattle.  “There is definitely an infinite number of single people here open to dates from other cities and this summer, I knew I had to connect with Jane about an amazing client I had in Seattle who was open to expanding her search to the Vancouver area.  By us both knowing our clients so well, we were able to come up with a great match and our clients met and both said it was the best match yet! Looking forward to dozens of more potential romances happening with the help of our cross-border cupids at Matchmaker for Hire.”

Of course, expectations are always heightened when a plane fare is actually involved and its easy to feel cheated if the romance doesn’t work out (this kind of dating isn’t for the faint of wallet) – plus there’s added pressure if it does.  But for some, however the distance is a bonus and that not being around someone all the time can be ok if you are just as busy as they are.

So, if your tolerance to being uprooted is increased, let your Matchmaker know.

 

Jane Carstens –Matchmaker for Hire- Western Cda                   

 Ali Migliore – Simply Matchmaking – Seattle

Bonding with your loved ones over the holiday weekend is the stuff memories are made of, but if you want to take it to the next level invite a special someone to join in.  There will be more people to share special times with, take some of the pressure off you, and you can peg your person’s type based on their favorite holiday eats so you know exactly what sort of relationship you’re in for before you go for seconds.

Here’s what can you deduce from their favorite dish?

  1. Turkey: White meat- Traditionalist who falls asleep after sex. Dark meat-thinks they are edgy, but still a traditionalist who falls asleep after sex.  Turducken-Congrats you are dating a crazy person. This is going to be fun while it lasts, though!
  2. Mashed Potatoes: lovable, if a little boring and also lumpy. Probably loves to cuddle.
  3. Salad: Will probably make you run a marathon for your anniversary.
  4. Bread: Possibly a little flaky, but easily delighted. You could do worse.
  5. Gravy: Probably a sloppy kisser.
  6. Pie: Pumpkin-this person is more likely a romantic, who loves the pomp of the holidays (probably loves Valentine’s day too). Pecan-This person is not fooling around if it’s dessert it’s going to be a butter, sugary haven of one. Probably wants to have sex all the time.

 

Well, what’s your favorite…and what are you in for?

 

OK, now that I have convinced you to outsource your love life, ( http://www.matchmakerforhire.com/online-dating-vs-matchmaking-the-pros-and-cons/ ) , you’ll find yourself faced with another decision to make. Do you want to work with an independently owned boutique Matchmaker with decades of experience, or a franchised dating service?

There are advantages and disadvantages for both, so the trick is to figure out which works for you. To do this, you need to understand and do some research on the differences between the two and reflect on which is best suited to your personality, strengths, and goals.

Of course, you’re in luck.  Not only do we help our clients take the first step together, all in the comfort of your own home, we love working with clients new to, or disheartened with, the intimidating world of dating.  What may seem like a daunting task ahead of you, we can guide you through the process, introduce you to quality people and make your dating experiences positive, enjoyable, and that turn into 2nd ones!  Yep…… we get pretty excited about it too!

It’s a beautiful thing when a career and passion come together!

From our standpoint…… We are in Love with Love!

Contact us;  Jane Carstens /  [email protected]       Rhonda Ceci /  [email protected]  or call  778-552-3350

 

 Photo credit : Natalia Anje Photography  nataliaanja.com

T-shirt:  Big Love Ball   bigloveball.com/shop-products/ 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo credit Natalia Anje

“Hey Google, what are the chances of winning the lottery,” and the results should send you running for the hills.  While your chances of getting struck by lightning may be greater than striking it rich in the lotto, people win big at finding LOVE on a fairly regular basis.  Right now, there are countless people celebrating it, cursing it or searching for it. And who can blame them? Love is a many splendored thing.

So, today we are sharing one (of many) of our favourite Love Stories with you.  Our story comes from August 2013 and our Prince Charming grand slam.

“I was happy with my first date but Jane insisted I meet Bert! Jane came to my house on a summer morning in August 2013, and we sat on my sunny deck barefoot and talked about my life for two hours; she met my dog, my kids, and she saw how I lived. I chose Jane because from what I knew about her, and that she would do the work for me and I didn’t need to share my photo and profile with the world, just Jane and her team.  It wasn’t too long after she called with an introduction for me, John and after a first meeting I found him as I thought, to be exactly who I was looking for, until intro #2.  Jane insisted that I meet Bert, I think she knew he was my perfect match, and she was right! Our cocktail date moved onto dinner and we met again the next day…….and forever after that.  Bert proposed to me in Bora Bora, 14 months later and we got married August 2016, exactly 3 years after our first date.  We are a match made in heaven and thanks to Jane she brought me my Prince!”

 

You know the old saying: you win some, you lose some… and then there’s that little-known third category…..as quoted by  Al Gore


Over the years in Matchmaking, I’ve had many women clients that wanted me to introduce them to firefighter; they wanted to date a fireman. While there are no shortages of eligible firefighters, I’m going to try to give you a few tips on how it can work.

  • For the vast majority of them, the job will understandably be their first love
  • They are boys, and the men they hang with have a huge impact on their lives and you will be at first dating him and his boys. Nothing worse than creating havoc in the team!
  • Don’t think you can change or turn him into your dream guy. These amazing men live in a world you cannot imagine, not just the “doing it” part but the whole lifestyle of a firefighter.
  • The easiest conversation is to have him talk about himself. Why is he a firefighter? What is the best part about the job? Has he ever been scared at a big call? Another warning don’t go deep here last thing you want to do trigger a memory.
  • Know that at some point you will be run by his crew, his buddies for a group evaluation. The best thing you can hope for is an invitation to visit the station and would love to see where he works, or ask if you might bring some cookies by the station.

If he jumps at the suggestion and offers a good time to do that you’re in! Firefighters are gentlemen and will always treat a lady with respect, remember this is not a good environment for wall flowers, but know that he will always take any chance to step in and rescue you!
This Saturday April 1, I am proud and honored to attend The Surrey Firefighters’ Society – Ignite a Dream Event with some very dear Firefighter friends in White Rock. The event aims to provide underprivileged children of Surrey with Educational Opportunities.  Get a ticket here and support a great cause!  https://surreyfirefighters.com/ignite/

And oh yes, I will be scouting!

In this conclusion of a two-part series and when we left off in Part 1, we were just getting into the brass tacks of what real love looks like.

Today, we’re going to finish off the balance of the qualities of what real love looks like but I want to serve up a warning; If you haven’t read Part 1 of this series (http://www.matchmakerforhire.com/what-real-love-looks-like-part-one-of-a-two-part-post/ ), you need to do that first. The complete picture always makes better sense.  Let’s dive in….

 

 

 

 

Companionship-  Is it Love or Companionship? It sure helps to have *somecommon interests and often when people first fall in love, they bond over that shared love of certain activities and mutual interests. Even if they are different from yours, you can start trying them, showing interest in them, asking to share your partner in doing them. If the other party really interested in you, he/she will automatically show an equal interest in your hobbies and interests.  Here begins the companionship! The way you listen also tells of the way you care for the other party. You are listening not out of an interest in the subject itself but out of concern for the other party.  If we all apply it, I guarantee our dating experiences will be completely different.

Respect –In relationships, respect may be even more crucial than love.  It is useful, I think, to compare and contrast parent-child relationships with partner to partner relationships.  In both of these, respect is absolutely essential for it to work. When a love interest expresses an idea, or asks a question, take it seriously and learn to let go of unsolicited advice. Listen up! Love without respect is dangerous; it can crush the other person, sometimes literally.

Openness – Is openness important in your relationships? I mean, being open with your partner 100% of the time.  No secrets, no lies, nothing. In my personal opinion, everyone is entitled to have something to keep for themselves.  And I don’t think the most intimate, private thoughts are necessary to share unless they’re relevant to your partner or your relationship. There are certain things you share, other thoughts you don’t.  So let me ask, why do most of us babble out every thought, every little thing they do and everything anyone says to them? How boring! That’s the kind of stuff you keep for Facebook! I don’t think that a one-size-fits all rule like “always be open” makes much sense. Building a relationship and growing trust, while each of you are growing individually, requires more than simplistic slogans.

 

“Real love may seem less exciting than our shiny fantasies, but it is a million times more worthwhile” 

 

 

 

 

Tip for Valentine’s Day: A good kiss can seal a relationship, and a bad one can kill a new relationship before it’s even got started.

Psychologists report that most people can remember up to 90 % of the details of their first romantic kiss, a memory that is even more powerful than their first sexual encounter!

What is known for sure is that exclusivity starts with the FIRST FRENCH KISS in France?  Its true! Just as you would encourage your child to say please and thank you, hello and goodbye, French parents in France ALL encourage their children to “faire la bise” to friends and family both young and old.

Here, men mostly shake hands with each other with optional back slapping, but men kiss women.  Women kiss women. Everyone kisses children; both sexes hold up their faces to be kissed.  So, this Valentines, when you have known someone for a while and have exchanged handshakes already, one of you can say, “on fait la bise” and the kissing can begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Check out some of the most memorable kisses have come out of Hollywood:

Burt Lancaster’s famous kiss in the surf with Deborah Kerr in the 1953 film “From Here to Eternity,” still ranks as the most memorable of all screen kisses, as rated by entertainment writer Erik Lundegaard. Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst ranked second in their upside-down kiss in the 2002 movie “Spider-Man,” followed by George Peppard and Audrey Hepburn in the 1961 film “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” and Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in the 1990 move “Ghost.”

 

What do the Patriots & Falcons have in common with your dating game plan and how can you learn and understand lessons from the NFL and relate it to all aspects of your dating life?  Here’s our playbook:

  1. Your Coach

Not all coaches make it into the finals, only the best ones. Everybody in life needs a good coach that’s going to center them, ground them and help them achieve what they need to achieve.  Those are the kind of coaches needed to help you navigate yourself in the dating game.

  1. Ownership

If you take a look at the best teams in football, they’re owned by the most stable people out there.  They don’t give up, don’t have bad days, or look for immediate fixes.  It’s like that with your dating life, as well.  Ownership is everything.  And stability is everything.

  1. The Quarterback

There is little doubt who belongs at the top of the list of the best quarterbacks; great leaders who always return to the finals with their team every year —–hello, Tom Brady.  So, technically you are the quarterback to yourself and your dating life. So be the best you can be.

So, think about this: as you slowly make your way through your dating life, you’ve got to be the quarterback, the owner and you should have a coach that keeps you on the right track.  Take a look at your dating life game plan. Do you have all three of those things?

I am……Coach Carstens !

“If you don’t plan your life, chances are you’ll fall into someone’s plan.  And guess what they have planned for you? NOT MUCH!”  –Jim Rohn