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It’s almost Christmas time again and, to borrow the words of a famous disco hit in the 70’s “Love is in the air”.   And its a well-known fact that love is “in the air” every Christmas. It features in songs we hear as we shop, commercials we see, and present in the cards we send and the words we write on the tags we attach to the presents we give.  With Love From……

But when you read them phrase by phrase, and apply them to yourself, if you are single, they can transpose into a different key altogether. It can cease to be rhetorically pleasing and emotionally soothing;  instead, they become a deeply challenging analysis of your single life.

Perhaps that’s not what we expected this Christmas time….but when romantic love visits you again, I pray it stays till next Christmas.

 

 

It’s never been easier to meet someone online but landing a real date in a traditional setting feels like fishing in the Dead Sea; IMPOSSIBLE.  With life online an ever-present reality, MATCHMAKING still is one of the best ways to date.  The best part? It actually works.

So, what gives matchmaking the secret sauce ? It has to do with the in person sign-up process, questions are practical, allowing you to be picky with your preferences based on actual date feedback and we’re not afraid to set up dates for you to meet in person quickly which helps you open up earlier than you normally would. I have been matchmaking for over 20 years, helping  daters spanning all age groups find long-term relationships, not to mention perfecting our strategy over the years and most of our clients are dating someone within six months.

If you really want to meet someone, you need to reach out to us. [email protected] 

Most singles believe that LOVE is like a light switch where something flicks on, you get an overwhelming sensation, it hits you like a bag of bricks- or cupid’s arrow. It’s when you know that you’ve found the one, right? NOT SO MUCH!

I’ve learned over the past 20 years working with singles that LOVE, in reality, is a series of choices. The choices are based on many factors, including chemistry, values, logic, humor, intelligence, body type, where we are in our lives, what we want or need etc. Believe me, the lists are endless, and the weight of each factor varies depending on the person. Based on these factors, and the feedback I get back from the couples I set up on first dates they either choose to begin the process to LOVE or not, in that moment. Simply put, we are left with a choice. That is why it’s so difficult. Love requires you to do something. It might mean putting your everchanging, incredibly unpredictable, and extremely unstable wants and emotions aside. If love were simply an emotion, it’d do you no good.

Everyone is worthy of connection. Make it a priority to embrace connecting with others in your dating life in a healthy way. It will become another tool in your pocket for the next time around.

 

You miss out 100% on the chances you don’t take. Wayne Gretzky appears to be the earliest attributed source of this particular expression.  It makes sense when you have a goal or a dream, but you don’t take a shot at it, you miss the opportunity to score, to win, or to get what you want.

In dating, despite what singles tell themselves, there really are endless opportunities to find love. Unfortunately , too often they’re missed. In fact, if you ask any Matchmaker today, its precisely because of such lost opportunities and missed connections with singles, that is giving cause to look back and wonder “what if”.  Maybe you just don’t want to—while they have every quality you could ever want in someone, there is value in reflecting a little bit on what exactly was missing.

Moral of the story; As I write this, I regularly wonder of the potential missed connections singles are making. Plain and simple, if you’re skeptical, you’re missing out.

Take a chance—open up to possibility by making yourself available.  You Never know!

 

It’s a fact we tend to want to fit in with the person we are dating. Sure, we are all unique, but we want to, as a couple, look untied and as if we “fit”.

You confirm to the environment that you’re in – so it’s only natural that when you’re dating someone, even automatically without knowing – you will start to change your style even a bit so that you blend in with them. Its generally not until you look back at old photos or someone makes a comment that you will realize, they’ve actually taken place.

You’re attracted to your partner for a reason and by being in a relationship with them you’re indirectly saying, “I like the way you do things”.  This isn’t restricted to just the wardrobe either.  If your partner is hell bent on curling chances are you’ve given it a go yourself, or at least watched a couple of games. Same goes in the kitchen, you might be great at cooking Asian, so your partner will probably take on some of your techniques.

But by all means if it gets to the point where you have lost your sense of identity, then you have to wonder whether you are taking on theses attributes because you’re a really great couple, or because you want so desperately for the relationship to work.

After all nobody wants to date themselves, that would be boring.

Can you relate?

 

 

How many of you can honestly say they haven’t made a few mistakes when they meet someone new?  Sometimes good people make bad choices.  It doesn’t mean they are bad….it means they are human. You learn from them and go on because a mistake is one thing. A pattern is another.

There are loads of reasons why getting to a 2nd date might not work out. Perhaps you’re just plain old incompatible, or you’re not sure how to avoid falling foul of these oh-so-frequent behaviours we hear from the 1st dates we set up with our clients.

  • Idealizing your date-Do you actually like them, or are you projecting some dreamed-up version of a perfect match? Putting someone on a pedestal is setting them up for failure. No one can live up to an imagined list.
  • Following your Hormones not your heartWe get it-it’s been a long few years of lockdown and you’re feeling frisky, but don’t dive into intimacy too quickly. Hormones and attachment patterns get us in hook, line, and sinker, almost instantly- whether this is a suitable person or not.
  • Failing to see their flaws-This ties in with the first 2 pitfalls- Ask yourself: are you seeing this person through rose-tinted, loved-up glasses? It’s all too easy to fail to check out ( we don’t mean their social media ) if the person is who they say they are and what they want.

We all learn from our ‘mistakes”, sometimes a very painful lesson, especially in dating.

But others judging is their “mistake”.

Do you have a story to share?

 

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