As a matchmaker, I can’t guarantee love, but I can help you get a first date. Over the last 20 years I’ve set up a lot of first dates, so I get it, and I’ve been there for my clients when they get nervous. Its super relatable and it shows that you care about yourself, the other person, and the outcome. Good for you. So, take a few deep breaths and give yourself a self-talk before the date and remind yourself of these four things and let them calm those anxious butterflies right down.
- It’s just a date. You came into this date as just your brilliant self, and it’s ok to walk out by yourself. Its ok to pay your own bill and go home if you’re not feeling it- it leaves space for that right person.
- Make a list. It’s always good to know a bit about your date and write down some go-to conversation starters, because writing stuff down actually helps us remember things better just in case you have a brain fart staring into someone’s gorgeous eyes. It happens.
- Don’t be a Buzzkill. Don’t talk about your past personal information, or anything depressing. Essentially its a first date, NOT A CONFESSIONAL—and it should be about connection, having fun and maybe a little romance.
- Get out of your head. If you can relax and be present your date game is going to level up exponentially. When in doubt, try not to think about it so much as a “date.”
And finally, try to remember- the goal of a first date is simple; try to put a second date on the calendar to continue the conversation.