As seen in the Comox Valley Record – July 2018

Contact me for more information [email protected] 


When a woman is off the charts, she can have any guy she wants and for some reason she is still looking for you! Well that’s what some of you might be thinking, but guys, what a gift this woman is to invite you into the next level of your glorious evolution! Take her off the pedestal, don’t get me wrong she’s a magnificent goddess and she farts like the rest of us.   Perhaps hers don’t stink but you get the picture, yes?

So, if you are looking for a great relationship, its time to get present and focus on two things:

  1. Start receiving- she’s looking for someone like you! Relationships are reciprocal, remember?
  1. There will be things she sees in you, that you don’t (yet). BE that. Exude that. Wake that up in you. Own it.

I’m sorry to say that most men (and women… included) are stubborn and want to ‘do it on our own’ and when we have hit the wall we are more willing to ask for help.  Well don’t wait until then, and I challenge you to not wait and to be proactive.

I would be privileged to book a time to connect with me to at least see if she is for you, attraction and connection aside.

Email me confidentially at  [email protected]   \ or call 778-552-3350   \    As seen in the Victoria Times Colonist – Saturday May 26, 2018



While you still might be tempted to have more “Netflix and Chill” nights, as the temperatures rises, endorphins spark as the sun comes out; so, does your desire for a relationship.  There is something about the days getting a little longer brings us all out of the woodworks and we are seeing a surge in singles wanting to put themselves out there to meet someone,

As spring falls upon us there are still do’s and don’ts when it comes to meeting the right kind of match, based on what you’re looking for and here are a couple of steps you can follow to meet your Spring Love;

DO lose your “laundry list”; This doesn’t mean go out with anyone who asks, but your perfect partner is never 100 percent of what you think is perfect for you that you’ve put on a piece of paper. Date smart, but date with a balance of openness.

DON’T TMI; As relaxed as you are with this great first date, trust me that he’d rather not hear about your alcoholic mother who has a bad habit of continuing asking you for money. As interesting as you think he finds it, it’s because he wants to get to know as much as possible since this is probably the last time he will see you.

DO keep it simple, stupid; Stop trying to complicate things that are not. Relax, stop overanalyzing and putting unfounded pressure on your first few dates. You’re not getting married, you are on your second date.

DON’T try too hard; Put your best foot forward, work on yourself, but remain humbly confident. Don’t ever try to be something you are not in order to try to make someone like you. No one’s perfect. Be your best YOU that you can be, and you will find that right person who loves you for you, flaws and all.

After reading these DOs and DON’Ts are you be ready to meet your Spring Love?

 Contact me [email protected]


“hope springs eternal meaning, definition, what is hope springs eternal: said when you continue to hope that something will happen, although it seems unlikely.”




Some peoples first kiss can happen in front of millions of people!  Jasmine Lorimer Canadas’ first Bachelorette on the hit reality show Bachelorette Canada can vouch for that.  Her first kiss with each of these guys has happened during the filming of any given episode and from watching you must wonder if they enjoyed it more than she did.

It’s not like it was a kiss kiss —so then the question I guess we are supposed to be asking is do you remember your first kiss or do you want to remember your first kiss?


Some kisses can be messy not knowing what you are doing (after all u-tube might not have been around back then and god forbid you ask your friends for help); stomach aches dreading he’s going to kiss you and he does, he regrets it and it didn’t work out. Some first kisses were in high school where you’re kept being told when you kiss someone and you really love someone, it’s amazing so naturally you have all these expectations and then it’s just ok and that relationship ends up being just ok.  Then cut to college to the second guy you wind up kissing, end up in a relationship and it becomes love and you remember saying “oh, this is what its suppose to feel like”.  Kind of a discovery by kissing the second guy.

That’s right: It’s in his kiss (That’s where it is)!

KISS Fact: A kiss burns 6.4 calories per minute

 Jane Carstens



She certainly doesn’t behave like a sixty-something and she’s never been the cautious type; she doesn’t see the point when she’s petite, blonde and likes wearing a little black dress while driving her MX5.

If you don’t mind golfing in Palm Desert, being in a hot air balloon over a pyramid in Egypt, or having romantic dinners together at home, then why not give it a whirl for a chance to find happiness.

If you or someone you know is a Vancouver Gent in his 60’s who is semi-retired, open-minded and flexible, please contact me to learn more about this great woman. [email protected]

Check out these great alternatives to the usual dinner date!

Being single doesn’t mean that you need to find Valentine’s Day a depressing occasion. You can still treat yourself and feel good about your single life. Here is a range of ideas for doing things to participate “in the spirit” while keeping up your spirit; or, you can simply treat it like any other day!

1. Indulge in yourself. Since Valentine’s Day is all about love, spending the day loving yourself makes perfect sense. Play hooky from work (or just leave an hour early) and do whatever you want, be it pampering yourself with a massage or staying home, ordering take out and marathoning every movie your celeb crush has ever been in. After all, you have no one to please but your own darn self.

2. Go after what you want. If indulging seems a little too…indulgent, go the opposite direction and use the day to finish (or start) something you’ve been meaning to tackle. Secure that promotion you’ve been after at work; go spend some money on yourself doing something you’ve always wanted to do.

3. Find something new to love. Interested in taking up yoga? Want to learn how to be a sommelier? Wish you could cook risotto? Challenge yourself to do something you haven’t done before, or seldom get to do because of your schedule.

4. Send love someone else’s way. Studies show that kindness spreads, so start an epidemic. Give Valentine’s Day cards to those close to you, like your co-workers and friends, as well as those not so close to you, like the barista who serves you your coffee. Not the Hallmark type? Volunteer locally and help those less fortunate than you. Seeing a face light up from your small gesture will fill you with love and make the world a better place. (I’m serious)

5. Use Valentine’s Day as an “actively seek a partner day”.  Many places put on singles evenings so get your girlfriends or male friends together and head for a singles party. Who knows who you might meet?


Here’s an article featured in the Victoria Times Colonist Healthly Living Section, Sunday September 18th, 2011:


Are you paralyzed at the thought of a first date? Do all sorts of “I’m not ready to date there’s no one out there for me anyway” excuses flood your consciousness? Would you rather sit safely behind your online persona editing witty responses to profile enquiries of potential suitors as opposed to dating them? And let’s not forget that first date fears compound the longer it’s been since you’ve dated. If this sounds like you, you may well still be single but you are certainly not alone.


Everyone feels slightly anxious at the prospect of a first date, these feelings are completely normal, what separates the stress free first time daters from the rest of us is how they deal with anxiety. In this article we will take a look at what produces your anxiety and how you can deal with it. There are basically three main facets to dating anxiety: placing way too much emphasis on the first date, fear of the unknown, and fear of rejection.


It’s easy to say that you need to place less emphasis on the first date, but in practice it’s a little harder to do. And, if you’re looking for marriage material on your first date you increase the pressure dramatically and you are most defiantly setting yourself up for disappointment. No one will fulfill everything on your marital wish list. When you’re stuck in a “marriage material” mindset every miss match on your check list will count as points against your date leading to a negative vibe that taints the rest of the encounter. Keep the first date light, don’t pin all of your hopes and dreams on a single first time encounter, relax and let the experience unfold as it will.


Fear of the unknown is also a big anxiety generator. The best way to conquer this fear is to get out there and date, you’ll find the more you date the less scary it becomes. If this fear is what’s holding you back in the first place you need to do a little more homework.


Visualization, a technique used successfully in the fields of medicine and professional sports is one way over come the fear of the unknown. Find a quiet place and a few 20-minute blocks of time to dedicate to this exercise over the course of a couple of days. Imagine going on a first date; visualize all aspects of this date and all the things that could go wrong. At each stage of the date and each calamity that you image befalling you, judge for yourself if these potential disasters -worrying about a lull in the conversation, am I attractive enough, who will pay the bill etc. – are really worth the paralyzing fear you experience.


Another benefit of this technique is that you will now be mentally prepared to deal with each of these imagined events in a positive way before they happen. For example, an office acquaintance sets you up on a blind date. When you get to the restaurant and see him for the first time you immediately know there is no chemistry. Working out a strategy before hand, you could decide to tell him right off the bat that you don’t feel the spark, politely excuse yourself, get in your car and drive home. Conversely you could choose to enjoy a meal together and see where it leads. The worst that could happen is that you make a new friend who may have a single friend who is your Mr. Right.


By far the granddaddy of all first date anxieties is the fear of rejection. The fear of rejection will keep you on the couch, behind the computer or making up excuses longer than any one thing in the dating anxiety arsenal. The harsh truth is that even if you’re Jennifer Aniston or Mark Anthony, you will face rejection in your quest for a lasting relationship. The more you date, the more rejection you are liable face. For every successful relationship there are many many unsuccessful first dates but just like first dates the more rejection you experience the easier it is to take. The good news is that the more you date the closer you are to meeting the person you will spend the rest of your life with which is your ultimate goal.


In their 2004 study for the State University of New York: Traits and the State of Curiosity in the Genesis of Intimacy, Todd B. Kashdan and John E. Roberts concluded that equal feelings of anxiety and curiosity where garnered when individuals faced a social situation foreign to the participants’ experiences (much like a first date). In the study the participants that displayed curiosity when dealing with the unknown were perceived as being more likeable and moved to intimacy in their burgeoning relationships faster than their anxiety based counterparts.


The lesson here is that curiosity was the key to likeability, intimacy and positive outcome to uncertain social interactions. Curious people engaged in conversation more deeply, listened to what the other person was saying more intensely rapidly establishing positive lines of communication.


Use curiosity to over come your anxiety on a first date, remain optimistic, don’t let your negative thoughts into the dating process and try to enjoy the moment for what it is: a chance to meet someone new and what it isn’t: a life and death situation that can only end in a wedding or complete personal devastation. Focus on the other person, make eye contact, and really listen to their words and what they have to say. All of these techniques will increase your likeability and quickly establish a more intimate tone to the relationship you are trying to develop.


Being curious opens you up to receive the message your date is trying to convey, they will, at the very least teach you something very valuable about yourself, what ever the message may be. Curiosity tips the scale of anxiety. Yes, you will be anxious on your first date. Let curiosity guide you, practice visualization, and make the encounter a time of exploration, playfulness and fun as opposed to filling a checklist, dating can be an enjoyable experience unto itself. With any luck, your “first date” will put you on a path to finding the relationship you have always dreamed of. Think it’s time to get up off the couch?

Jane Carstens is Canada’s favorite matchmaker; she is the founder of Matchmaker For Hire a boutique matchmaking firm located in Western Canada. You can contact her to comment on this article at [email protected]

Psychologists say that to some extent the weather at this time of year can motivate us to couple up. Singles are looking for someone to share their favorite activities during these upcoming hot summer days and warm summer nights. Tanya, a proactive 35-year old Island single is a case in point; She’s just hired a matchmaking service to help her find her a mate. “ I love playing beech volleyball, barbeques and watching outdoor concerts, I’d love to have someone to share the experience with.” This is where Jane Carstens of Matchmaker For Hire a boutique matchmaking service serving Vancouver Island and the Lower Mainland comes in. Winter is a difficult time for singles but with the advent of the warmer weather singles are pushed outside and pushed to act. Jane says the change in seasons is a busy time for her: “Sometimes when you see couples walking hand in hand strolling through the markets on a beautiful sunny day you realize well, I’m single and I’d really like to do something about finding the right partner”. For Jane matchmaking is not just her job it’s her passion. Jane interviews every one of her clients in their own homes, determining their specific criteria in a partner and then matches them accordingly. “Visiting someone in their own home gives me a good indicator as to who that person is, their surroundings give me a lot of insight into their lifestyle which then helps in the matching process”. The all-important first date seems a lot easier in the summer time as well. “I always encourage my clients to pick some sort of activity for their first date, that way if your conversation starts to stall, you can always concentrate on your short game” says Jane. If like Tanya the warmer weather has got you thinking of a new romance, check out Jane’s website at or give her a call at 778-552-3350