Looking for love…… Duh.

Looking for a partner…… Absolutely.

In essence: Dating is life. Parenting is life. Stop making such a big deal out of the former, and the latter becomes far less complicated.

Who would not want their kids to see resilience, and for the single parent it means loving again and not just coping?  Which brings us to the big question of when.  Most of the singles we work with say that the kids do have to be in the mix to see if the relationship is going to work.  For some, who did not want anything too serious they bring their kids around their new potentials as a deterrent – and then watch in awe as they threw themselves in the mix with them.  Instead of sabotaging the relationship with their kids, they just sweetened the deal……something worth exploring.   

One thing we feel strongly about is people who (and if this is you, sorry) say, “Oh we’ll just tell the kids we’re friends hanging out”.  Do not lie, kids know everything.

Our Take, when you are ready, bring around your family. Sure, consider how you do this post Covid, respect your kids’ reactions, talk about it with them.  But do not feel guilty, you are normal, and this is healthy.  That said, there are plenty of good reasons to take your time introducing your kids to your new amore.  Maybe you don’t ever introduce them at all.

We may not have been able to meet our Mr, Ms, or Mx Right physically over the past few months, but we might actually be making deeper connections thanks to lockdown. Today we are seeing that people are taking dating far more seriously, and people have become aware of how precious life and time is, so they are investing their energy in more authentic, connected conversations.

We’re hearing from our clients that there are higher quality chats and there is a significant spike in us setting up social distance walks which are leading to 2nd and 3rd dates.

It will take more than a pandemic to keep us from Love!

#matchmaker #matchmakervancouver #love

You can still meet that right person, even as we emerge slowly from months of confinement. At Matchmaker for Hire, we’re all about connections while remaining dedicated to the health and safety of our clients. We know how difficult and isolating the past weeks have been for many people, but’s now’s not time to meet your match in real life without respecting the rules of physical distancing. Currently, we’re recommending walks and outdoor meetups where proper spacing can be maintained. In addition, we’re actively vetting our clients by asking them if they’re displaying any symptoms for COVID-19 before we set them up on dates. We’re vigilantly monitoring COVID-19 developments and continue to be looking to the Public Health Agency of CanadaHealthLink BC and BC Centre for Disease Control for guidance and recommendations.

 But, until the situation changes, let’s keep the words of Dr. Bonnie Henry top of mind: 

“We’re social people… let’s do it in small, thoughtful ways, and also let’s be really concerned about ourselves and if we are feeling unwell or under the weather, put it off for another day.”

Please be advised that at every single client interaction, we will be asking the following questions:

  • (i) Do you have new/worse cough or shortness of breath?
  • (ii) Are you feeling feverish or have had shakes or chills in the last 24 hours? (> 38 degrees Celsius)?
  • iii) Are you or someone that lives with you currently self-isolating?
  • Has anyone in the home had influenza-like symptoms within the last 14 days?
  • Have you or anyone you’ve come in contact with travelled within the last 14 days? Where?
  • Have you had contact in the last 14 days with a sick person?

In some ways virtual dating is a different ballgame from meeting someone in real life – and in some ways it is not.  As someone who can speak with experience and direct commentary on dating today, it’s a well-known fact that dating at any time is not for the faint of heart or those easily discouraged.  As the old saying goes that you must kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince—and yes it kind of applies, however fortunately for you I know a lot of frogs.  Nevertheless, there is by no means a guarantee for meeting the love of your life, however I can guarantee there is one in the bunch that you might want to take a chance on. 

During this delicate time when finding love has been disrupted, for the most part, my clients have been open to a virtual date after receiving a recommendation of a profile that is a good match.  It’s a chance to make an effort to get to know someone virtually by a pre-face-to-face meeting and there are certain aspects of a relationship potential you might be able to gather before a real in person date in the near future.   However, there are certain aspects of a relationship you are never going to be able to gather from online interactions alone.  In these times we suggest not drawing out the pre-face-to-face meeting for too long and for those who feel comfortable have enjoyed a social distancing walk as the next step with success. 

Here are a few virtual date feedbacks from actual clients:

  • “It was good-nice 30 min conversation. Cold introductions aren’t easy and I am a firm believer in connection. He’s intelligent, thoughtful, engaged.  I will have another conversation with him, probably facetime and see how it goes.”…..Janine
  • “John and I are “seeing” each other and we would like to let you know we enjoy our time together”……Heather
  • “It was good. We talked for a while. She is interesting”…… John

Dating should be fun and it shouldn’t feel like work.  Check in with yourself regularly and if it’s feeling like a chore you’re not enjoying yourself, then take a break and wait for the opportunity for when things return to REAL face-to-face dating.  It will be here before you know it.

#nationalkissofhopeday #findlove #loveisnotcancelled #dating

So, are you ready to hear what he/she said about you personally?

We live in a feedback culture today. Where it is normal in every other part of our lives from Amazon, Google customer ratings and reviews to TripAdvisor yet why is so hard to seek feedback from a date? It’s ironic because dating is perhaps the most important area where feedback can literally change your life.

After 18 years of experience routinely doing “exit” interviews with my clients, please believe me when I tell you that they are more empowering than embarrassing. Especially if you truly want to find the right mate, it can be extremely helpful the bite the bullet and find out what is going right and wrong during and after your dates.  Uncovering the gap between your perceptions and your dates perceptions will enable you to find your mate more quickly and efficiently. 

What I can share with you is that 90% of women I speak to are wrong when they guess why their date didn’t call them back.  Maybe you aren’t creating enough date-makers while causing too many date-breakers.  Why wonder needlessly when you can just get the information you need, directly from the source?

Information is power. What’s the worst that could happen?

If you’ve found this article helpful, have any questions for me or want to share any personal experiences with giving or receiving feedback feel free to leave a comment and contact me [email protected]

As the matchmaker who’s been setting up dates for my clients, each day this past week, I’ve been a bit more unsure of what the right move is going forward in terms of presenting introductions to you.  As comfortable as one person feels going out for dinner and drinks with someone new in the time of coronavirus, the next person feels differently. My matchmaking colleagues and I have had several recent date cancellations and are brainstorming how our industry must adapt. With over three hundred confirmed cases in Canada now, it seems it may be a matter of time before we see more people quarantining with bars and restaurants in many cities shut down.

Considering your best interest, my observations as to the way singles and the matchmaking industry is reacting, and the ethical obligations I feel as a human being who does not want to contribute to the spread of disease, I present three options to you for best handling the remaining time on your contract:

Virtual Dating: I can set you up on video dates with people who are interested in getting to know someone virtually. After screening candidates for you on phone or video, I would send recent photos and a profile as usual so you could decide if you’d like to accept the introduction. Your “date” will take place on a virtual medium of your choice, and it will count as an introduction on your contract regardless of whether a “real” date takes place. I will coach both parties on how to make the best impression in this medium.

Dating Coaching: You can exchange some of your remaining introductions for coaching sessions. If you are interested in using this downtime for self-reflection and self-improvement in terms of your love life, I promise to give you tremendous value!  You will receive unlimited email coaching and once to twice weekly video coaching sessions to help you learn how to “become your own matchmaker”. You will learn not just how to attract a better match on your own-whether on or offline-but how to keep him or her for the long term. I will use feedback from past dates, a thorough assessment of your relationship history, as well as my overall impression of your strengths and weaknesses in terms of attracting a match. Most importantly, it will teach you how to attract/maintain the relationship you desire.

Hold Time: We will simply put things on hold for a bit until we see how this all pans out.

I will gladly honor and respect your choice, if you know your preference now, please do let me know.

Additionally, it’s a good time to update your profile and photos with us and I’m happy to discuss things further with you this week if you like.

Stay safe and well!

Today is National Promposal Day and prompts the ultimate question “Will you go to prom with me?”

Which recalls a question I get from most all singles I meet, “Why is asking someone out such a difficult thing” and one that gets angst over even for the most confident.   Well, we live in a “dating game society” where people are free to be crappy to each other and its turned courtship into entertainment.  Therefore, we have to accept that some people can be crappy, or at best, acknowledge that people have different ideas about what is crappy behavior and what is good behavior……..but bear in mind that the tiniest few might actually mean well!

So instead of crying because someone won’t ask you out, feel FREE to ask him/her out.

If you do, please let me know, I’d like to congratulate you.

Today love is triumphant.  Marriage is becoming less conventional, less dutiful and less obligatory—but even more important we find that not all people over-50, single again and dating, find themselves end up technically married.  And because for most couples, weddings are no longer obligatory, they must however be extraordinary.

For couples today, marriage has changed from being a rite of passage to a celebration of love and commitment – a sign that two people are ready to stand up in front of friends and family and commit themselves further.  However, marriage should be entered with a cool head and know that weddings join families, not just couples. It can take the already complicated and complicate it more.  And for most people dating with MORE than a few life miles left on the clock, they still idealise marriage but think of relationships as something to go slow and it be undertaken at some point in the future, or perhaps not at all.

Mastering the old-fashioned way of finding love means you are “looking to be matched not bombarded by dates” and there are ways you can embrace old-fashioned dating and still feel empowered in a because ultimately you are calling the shots. While most midlife singles aren’t exactly in a hurry to meet a new partner, they all would like to meet someone for companionship—or more.  And, this new phase of life to begin with a lot of laughs, some fun, some intimacy and definitely, some good food.  

However, I can’t help but also think about how important it is for singles today to really know when it is real love, as opposed to a vision clouded from a fast moving, whirlwind of a romance and emotions that would make anyone swoon.  Now that’s crazy, stupid, love.

WATCH: An encore presentation of the CARPe diem Season 2 opener: Zoomer Weddings – Navigate love and commitment later in life with some insight from those who tied the knot twice.

Join host Carmen RuizyLaza and her guests Marina Adshade (https://economics.ubc.ca/faculty-and-staff/marina-adshade/), Jane Carstens of Matchmaker For Hire, and Darrin Hotte from @New Solution Mediation, & special guests Bert Hick and Jim Doyle, this Friday February 20 at 5:00pm on Joytv BC.

Episode summary video click below

Seize YOUR Day!

We at Matchmaker for Hire are just crazy about all things sweet, especially chocolate.  Hell, chocolate can solve almost any problem and chocolate and dating have gone hand in hand since the beginning of time because we all know that when it comes down to it, nothing can compete with a special moment made of sensuality and chocolate.  So needless to say we are always keen to spread the joy and encourage the passion of chocolate and dating and over the years we’ve hear some little stories and remarks about chocolate and dating to make you smile…..

  • “On our 3rd date he asked me if I was into S&M’s, I thought he had pronounced it wrong, so I answered oh sure I love them, especially the peanut ones.  He didn’t call me back.”
  • “Over dinner we started the debate about sex and chocolate.  9 out of 10 men prefer sex to chocolate he told me, that’s funny I replied, 9 out of 10 women prefer chocolate to sex.  There was a moment’s hesitation; he pulled a box of chocolates from under his chair.  I think we can meet in the middle I smiled.”
  • “My boyfriend wanted to do something extra special, so he laid out a chocolate inspired picnic in front of the fire.  I was working late, and he fell asleep while waiting.  When I came home the chocolate had melted into the rug.  A for Effort, F for the cleaning bill.”
  • And lastly, why chocolate and a great date are the same thing – Chocolates are easy to pick up and hard to put down.

Is your dating life like a box of chocolates?

Source credit ; https://www.santabarbarachocolate.com/chocolate-dating/

If you live in BC today, you look outside your window and you are completely snowed in. There is now way you can even set foot outside your front door and there is only so much Netflix you can watch. You are also very aware that Valentines Day is around the corner and you are wondering what you can do to get yourself out of these snow day blues. Well, we can help! What better way to use your snow days productively then by giving us a call today, WE’RE IN THE OFFICE, and ready to have a chat with you to find that someone special and maybe just in time for Valentines Day.

Here’s some simple steps you will need to get you started;

Pictures you need to have. Hundreds of singletons will be doing the same thing as you! Make sure you find some great pictures of yourself that you are proud of and that show you clearly to add to your profile. Please, no gym selfies or over edited, Instagram ready pictures! They should represent your true self and what the person will see if they decide they want to meet you.

Get your “about me” up to scratch. Keep it light, chatty and positive and make sure your grammar is correct. Poor grammar is a major turn off for both men and women so make sure you proofread everything before you hit that ‘send’ button!

Make a first move and contact us! Whilst you are stuck inside, you have time to engage with your inner self confidence so why not test it out by making the first move and have a chat with us? It’s amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it and all from the comfort of your sofa, in your lovely warm home, in your pajamas whilst the snow continues to fall outside.

email [email protected] or call 778-552-3350