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  1. Mohamed
    Mohamed says:

    My partner was 37 when we met, and he had gone back to grad scohol to finally start a more traditional career (after years of freelancing and making very little money). He got out of grad scohol with no debt, but with only a few thousand saved. He works for a nonprofit, and now he’s several years into his career, is in senior management where he works, and he’s quite happy with his salary of $46K.Do I sometimes wish he earned more money? Of course. I wish I earned more too. Did I choose to make a life with him because of money? No. Not at all. Of course I wish he had saved more before we met, because now we’re playing catch-up for his retirement, which is barely 20 years away.But we are compatible in money matters. He’s very frugal, whereas I like buying things and have to work harder to be disciplined and save money. He hates financial planning and is an extremely conservative investor. I enjoy financial planning and I’m a more moderate investor. No, I was not attracted to him because of money he had or would earn. But I was attracted to him because of his simple tastes, ability to make things instead of buying them, and his generosity with the money he did have. And the fact is we’ve made similar choices to do interesting work that is low stress and does some good in the world but doesn’t pay a lot. (we’re both librarians).I’d rather have the compatible values and interests that my partner and I have than date somebody who has a lot of money.


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