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I’ve seen it over and over in hundreds of smart, high-achieving singles I speak to and yet today, I still get the same question- “How do I know if or when I’m being too hard on myself when it comes to dating?”.

In working with singles over the last 20 years,  we find most are engaged in what we call “perfectionistic over functioning” – doing MORE than is healthy, appropriate, and necessary, continually moving the goalpost , trying to get an A+ in all of the aspects of dating and exhausting ourselves to the bone in the process and trying to keep up with what you think you “should” be doing.  If you answered “yes” to one or more of the above , it’s safe to say you are being too hard on yourself, it’s not serving you and it’s holding you back.

Simply shifting this mindset can truly expanded your thinking. Strengthen yourself, by building strong boundaries, learn to say “yes” to what you want, and “no” to what is not tolerable or acceptable—like your lives depend on it, because they do.

Do you want help finding and attracting your right partner? Would you like advice from a 20-year matchmaker that has interviewed over thousands of singles and personally helped thousands of clients with their search of finding the right person?

I offer personal coaching services, online dating profile review, and a real “hands on” perspective.

To schedule a call contact [email protected] , I look forward to assisting you.

 

While Covid has been a good excuse for not meeting up with just anyone, and he’s burnt out from dating apps , yet he’s never down in the dumps because he doesn’t have a partner. He would just love to meet someone who’s active and outdoorsy, and actually interested in him.

He is an amazing single Dad, 6’ in his early 40’s, that is trying to navigate his world running a niche business in Western Canada and raising his boys. For him saving time this March Break for more fun things like snowboarding, hiking, boating, eating out and spontaneous road trips or jumping on a plane almost anywhere – so he’s hired us while he enjoys spring break. 

 If you are open to meeting a real old fashioned valued guy and you’re in your 30’s message us to learn more and a chance to meet him. (In an exclusive way, and at no cost to you) or pass it on to your best girlfriends.

[email protected]

 

 

There’s really no great time to do it, unfortunately, one of those break up periods is upon us.  Statistics put together from Facebook data, show 2 big spikes.  One right after Valentine’s Day, but the sharpest increase by far happen in the weeks that lead up to spring break (which officially starts this week). While a March heartbreak on one hand makes sense after cuffing season, there obviously has to be an uncuffing period.

We have seen an uptick in breakups around March and have some theories.  In Spring, we all get this natural boost, and we’re feeling more energetic overall.  This also means we’re more aware of our partner’s more annoying patterns—like when its rainy and dark in winter—we aren’t totally checked in to what’s going on in our lives, including who we are dating.  But as the days get longer, people feel more motivated to tune in and make changes.  Sometimes that means kicking their lover to the curb and getting rid of the person who’s holding you back. However, if you’re the person being broken up with, that isn’t super fun. But in some ways, it’s a good time because singles who have been hibernating throughout the winter are coming out and want to go out and have fun, laughter, and experience new things.

So instead of sobbing into the sleeve of your puffer coat, you can use this time to revaluate – be open and optimistic while dreaming of good weather on a rooftop on a date with a cocktail in hand.

 

Born and raised a Toronto girl with nothing more than passion, a computer, a love for the West Coast, and for the last 20 years I have remained insatiably curious about human connections.

 

What makes singles genuinely happy, successful, and fulfilled while searching for the one? It is possible to dream big without running yourself into the ground, while still remaining optimistic, open, and stress-free.

 

Here’s the good news; I’ve learned from personal experience (and by interviewing some great successful singles), that you can accomplish meeting the one—without burning out. As long as you cultivate the right habits and plan of action.

Everyone’s plan will look a little bit different, but there are some things that should definitely be included;

  1. First and foremost, if you are serious (or even potentially serious) about finding the one is to have a clear head and an open heart.
  2. I will not rush it. It is so important to take your time in letting a connection develop and so worth it in the end. Taking things slowly can not only help you avoid mistakes, but it can also vastly improve your dating skills. There is no substitute for short-cuts.
  3. Seek wise counsel. Even if you are approaching dating with an open heart and committed to taking things slowly, you need to hear from people who know you well and who don’t get goosebumps when they hold your dates hand.

 

Well, there you have it; however, this is by no means an exhaustive list.  If you’d like to find a mentor to talk to about these kinds of things and don’t have one, consider reaching out to me. It would be my honor to support you and cheer you on.

 

 

We have found that it is UNLIKELY that two people would get together to date in today’s world if they had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common.

In fact, the relationship goals of most of the singles, looking for relationships that we meet, are quite different than those of the past. Although it’s known that skiing, biking, and hiking use to top the list;  now different values and the extremely tough challenges that we have all experienced over the past couple years has become the priority.

One challenge in particular is that singles live in a world where independence and individuality are valued higher than they used to be, which means that sometimes relationships and family become a “back burner” priority.  But it’s never too late to make your relationship a priority.

Here are a few qualities successful singles have in common.

  • Love Unconditionally – always consider your partners feelings, don’t think you can change them, communicate your hopes and dreams with each other.
  • Trust One Another– often there are parts of one’s lives that are separate from each other, avoid trying to control, if jealousy comes up talk about it, and be open and honest about it.
  • They have Things in Common – its important to share taste in movies, music, food, shared values, intellectual interests and/or political views. This way there are at least a few things you enjoy doing together and you always have something to talk about.

 

While it is possible to build a relationship with someone you have a little in common with, too. Over time, chances are you’ll discover, learn , and try more things that you can both enjoy and share together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most singles love January – they think it’s a time for a new beginning, and to refresh and reset their love lives. Yet, some people like May, when the first signs of summer start and everything feels easy again.

For Matchmakers its February.  It’s always been a fabulous month for us and the month where singles make new things happen.  As a Matchmaker , I’ve been writing blogs about how January is a great time to assess your situation, review you love plans, and kick start the year dating in a positive way.  But for those of you who know me you’ll know that I’m also very firm about one thing: If you don’t get to something in January, that’s no reason to give up.  That’s why I look at January as a warmup and February as the time to truly make things happen.

On a personal note, February has been something of a lucky month for me–20 years ago, in February 2002, I was on a flight from Toronto to Vancouver. Making a big, life-changing decision to leave my corporate job,  picked up my life and moved across the country to start a business in Matchmaking. I was ready to move on and move forward.  I couldn’t wait to hop off the plane and start strategizing.

Fast forward to February 2022, my mission hasn’t changed-  knowing everyone wants love but not everyone can easily find it.  That mission has gotten me out of bed for the last 20 years.

I truly believe, when you are clear about what you want and why you want it, it becomes much easier to keep going and to stay focused, even if it’s taking longer than expected.

Ok, you have been warned; there are no excuses. Just when you were resting on your laurels making it thru the holidays being single; boom it will be Valentines Day! Not that we want to politicize Valentine’s Day, as we are still in a pandemic and not supposed to be touching people, but call it what you will, Valentines’ Day is our favourite holiday.

If you are single , I promise you , you are not alone; you’re just not seeing them. As I am so often reminding people, there are many, many singles thinking the same thing you are and lacking enthusiasm.  However, there is no need to veto Valentine’s Day this year. Because we are singing a different tune and  believe now is a perfect time to kick off your love campaign.

Todays, matchmaking pools are thriving.  For starters, we elevate the bar for our clients with an alternative that can help cut through the noise.  And there is an abundance of healthy and active people interested in meeting someone for a relationship.

Ever consider hiring someone to help you find love ?  Contact me [email protected] or call 778-552-3350

I hope to hear from you.

For most singles, the New Year is the most proactive season to get out and find love. We all have rituals round many things in our life, and I myself will recommit to conscious eating and more exercise.  This being a seemingly endless season of difficulty and uncertainty for everyone—and yet, as is always the case, singles have never had more of a desire to find love.

So, to mark the passing of 2021 and to ring in 2022, I’m sending you this New Year’s inspired reminder, along with a dating challenge.  Start with an inventory of  lists and in place of resolutions, desire your way into a New Year of dating consciously.

Your challenge:

  1. What parts of dating in the last year worked for you, big or small ?
  2. What did last years dating euphoria leave you yearning for ?
  3. What’s behind you dating anxiety from the most mundane to the dreaded?
  4. What safe dating resources and practices saw you thru that you can rely on in 2022 ?
  5. What would a version of your “wildest dream” date look like, no matter how unrealistic ?

 

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As someone who spent the last 20 years listening to single people sharing some of their biggest dating struggles,  I know better than anyone how much fun the “dating thing” can be.   So many singles blame themselves and feel terrible when they don’t get the results they want.  Plus, dating itself can be loaded up with self-loathing beliefs—this kind of negative mindset will only keep you stuck, yet another year, in a pattern of yo-yo dating.

That being said, the dating thing also comes with some drawbacks.  For example, here are some actual recent dating struggles from our clients that you might be able to relate to;

  • It can be too easy to find people flaws –“I’m getting into my 30’s, I don’t want to date anyone I don’t see a serious future with” . This makes it way too easy to pick holes in people, probably quite unfairly.
  • It can be difficult to read signals “I have no idea how read whether women are/aren’t interested, so I always just err on the side of caution and assume they aren’t.” Figure it out, apply it and just ask them.
  • Being Single can be nice“I’m comfortable being single. I got a good thig going right now”. Nice, but then you don’t put too much effort (or any at all) into dating and are often busy and rarely have the time to date.
  • Overthinking can lead to Overreacting “I overthink, which leads to overreacting, and this causes them to think I’m insane, so they loose interest” . Long story short, you need to CHILL.

If you want to create self-loving, healthy dating habits for 2022 – that are realistic to maintain- then I encourage you to contact us now !  [email protected]

With the new variants and current global climate, we’re in a new stage and phase of dating and there is nothing wrong with you if that’s where your mind is going or if love is what you’re seeking.  We are all trying to get by.

Dating experts and matchmakers- myself included- would advise that it is in every singles best interest to meet a potential match in real life as soon as possible, to avoid wasting your time and emotional energy investing in someone you many not have chemistry with.

For starters, now’s your chance to focus on quality over quantity.  Dating apps have always dictated the more the merrier, and many users are often talking to various people at once, continually looking for the next best thing and moving on to another at the first sign of boredom or doubt. In matchmaking and real life, you allow yourself to open up and engage with one person, dive deeper into less superficial conversations, therefore creating stronger connections, to roll with it and see what can come.

Which brings me to my next point if you’re looking for love: the more that you’re not distracted by dating apps usual fast pace, you can see a missed connection for what it is.  Go with what makes you feel comfortable, and just because you know other singles are hopping on the FaceTime/Zoom/phone call/texting bandwagon, doesn’t mean you have to follow suit.