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As someone who spent the last 20 years listening to single people sharing some of their biggest dating struggles,  I know better than anyone how much fun the “dating thing” can be.   So many singles blame themselves and feel terrible when they don’t get the results they want.  Plus, dating itself can be loaded up with self-loathing beliefs—this kind of negative mindset will only keep you stuck, yet another year, in a pattern of yo-yo dating.

That being said, the dating thing also comes with some drawbacks.  For example, here are some actual recent dating struggles from our clients that you might be able to relate to;

  • It can be too easy to find people flaws –“I’m getting into my 30’s, I don’t want to date anyone I don’t see a serious future with” . This makes it way too easy to pick holes in people, probably quite unfairly.
  • It can be difficult to read signals “I have no idea how read whether women are/aren’t interested, so I always just err on the side of caution and assume they aren’t.” Figure it out, apply it and just ask them.
  • Being Single can be nice“I’m comfortable being single. I got a good thig going right now”. Nice, but then you don’t put too much effort (or any at all) into dating and are often busy and rarely have the time to date.
  • Overthinking can lead to Overreacting “I overthink, which leads to overreacting, and this causes them to think I’m insane, so they loose interest” . Long story short, you need to CHILL.

If you want to create self-loving, healthy dating habits for 2022 – that are realistic to maintain- then I encourage you to contact us now !  [email protected]

With the new variants and current global climate, we’re in a new stage and phase of dating and there is nothing wrong with you if that’s where your mind is going or if love is what you’re seeking.  We are all trying to get by.

Dating experts and matchmakers- myself included- would advise that it is in every singles best interest to meet a potential match in real life as soon as possible, to avoid wasting your time and emotional energy investing in someone you many not have chemistry with.

For starters, now’s your chance to focus on quality over quantity.  Dating apps have always dictated the more the merrier, and many users are often talking to various people at once, continually looking for the next best thing and moving on to another at the first sign of boredom or doubt. In matchmaking and real life, you allow yourself to open up and engage with one person, dive deeper into less superficial conversations, therefore creating stronger connections, to roll with it and see what can come.

Which brings me to my next point if you’re looking for love: the more that you’re not distracted by dating apps usual fast pace, you can see a missed connection for what it is.  Go with what makes you feel comfortable, and just because you know other singles are hopping on the FaceTime/Zoom/phone call/texting bandwagon, doesn’t mean you have to follow suit.

 

Dating has always allowed you to hit pause and take a break.  But after living thru the last few years of a pandemic which has challenged dating, many of us realize now it’s about so much more.  Matchmakers like me, who work with singles who say they would seriously date someone, are setting the tone.  Dating can be a good catalyst for good and it can even be regenerative for singles.

Knowing what you want, finding smart ways to cut thru all the noise, meeting others who are more ready to find love, generally is on everyone’s mind and a constant with all the singles I speak with these days.  Luckily, Matchmakers have always taken dating seriously and as the world really starts to open up again, here are my 3 reasons to get dating in 2022.

  1. Intentional dating. Elevate the bar, be clear and date with purpose. Know what the heck you’re looking for and seek alignment early (& often); and don’t waste time meeting other singles characterized by finding pleasure in flings and things than staying committed.

 

  1. The great online migration. Anyone who’s ever tried their hand at online dating apps and fallen into the abyss of badly lit selfies, fib heavy profiles and “one word” messages know exactly what I’m talking about.  Dating apps are designed to keep you on the apps- something most don’t have the time or patience for, and singles are looking for alternatives that can help cut through the noise–willing to give matchmaking a shot.

 

  1. Make dating fun again. As matchmakers our MO is to make dating fun again, make it romantic, and turn back your attention to mingling with singles in real life.   Something that is lacking in today’s app-driven dating scene.

 

 

So here we are the beginning of November. Over the last 20 years that I have been matchmaking,  I don’t know of another four weeks when singles lurch forward into new states of mind quite so dramatically and we are busy.

Hoping to see physical manifestations of our hearts desires feels more urgent on these longer November evenings, and before we shift inevitably into the next year, and if your single you get feelings to find somebody to loveConsider where we were last year at this time.  Vaccine trials, hospitals overwhelmed, borders still closed, November has always been a month of high emotion, whether it’s longing, loss, or memories of closeness.

But come on. Everyone, at one point in their lives needs encouragement along the way and you are no different; without fail our clients hold on to that believing. They let US focus on it and they are enthusiastic to accept meeting potential local love possibilities.

Though patience is a virtue, there is a limit to everyone’s patience. Where are you ?

Happy New Year…this is the year of ….?

 

As you might have heard, your main man Santa is back and on the market.  Here are a couple of the many reasons he’s actually a total catch. 

  1. He has the best beard of any man you will ever meet
  2. He’s really buff under all that velour
  3. He’ll never forget to get you presents and knows exactly what you want
  4. He’s great with animals, especially moody reindeer
  5. His ride is a flying magical sleigh

Signed;   Private Matchmaker for Santa

For those of us less fortunate enough not to be in a relationship, the coming of Christmas can present a challenge.   Let’s be honest; whether you care about your single status or not listening to relatives probing about our dating life can be draining, as can finding a home for the mountain of small amusing gifts coming your way.  For example, being in receipt of wall art or badass affirmations books and you immediately file it under a mental tab marked: Single at Christmas, again – sorted.

But there is a solution; And it’s simple –Give a gift of something to someone who needs it– Choose Love.

So, don’t shut out the idea of helping someone find love –give them a real present of love. This week, we have had several calls from people who realize that waiting patiently to let love find you does not have to be the case and this Christmas we are helping caring friends and family buy loved ones appropriate and indulgent matchmaking membership gifts, the thing that someone single actually needs; to go from single to taken!

Presents for single people truly in need; a solution to your Christmas shopping- It’s what we do.

Since you’re here, give us a call to find out more!  [email protected]

love ball and buttons  https://bigloveball.com/

We are in that small window of opportunity where it’s still semi-acceptable to break up with someone before we get into the Holidays, but the window is quickly closing. You don’t want to be that person breaking up with someone before Christmas. Before you read this, I want you to think about the last time you were dumped or broke up with someone. I feel like 9 out of 10 times; there are some pretty visible signs that a split is coming. Maybe we see them and choose to ignore them, or perhaps we’re oblivious.

I found many articles on the signs your partner is about to leave you, but I think that there are a lot two pretty definitive ones. For most when they are about to end a relationship, they start changing or improving their physical appearance, or posts start disappearing like a bad habit on their social media accounts.

Dah!  You should have seen that last break up coming a mile away. And if you’re in a relationship and you’re suddenly doing these things, perhaps it’s time to take a long, hard look at if this relationship is working for you. If you’re the one planning to do the dumping and you’re struggling with how to do it, you can always do it with ice cream. According to Vancouver based Nora’s Non-Dairy, “It’s a sweet but savage way to drop someone!”

Thank you, next……….

Bonding with your loved ones over the holiday weekend is the stuff memories are made of, but if you want to take it to the next level invite a special someone to join in.  There will be more people to share special times with, take some of the pressure off you, and you can peg your person’s type based on their favorite holiday eats so you know exactly what sort of relationship you’re in for before you go for seconds.

Here’s what can you deduce from their favorite dish?

  1. Turkey: White meat- Traditionalist who falls asleep after sex. Dark meat-thinks they are edgy, but still a traditionalist who falls asleep after sex.  Turducken-Congrats you are dating a crazy person. This is going to be fun while it lasts, though!
  2. Mashed Potatoes: lovable, if a little boring and also lumpy. Probably loves to cuddle.
  3. Salad: Will probably make you run a marathon for your anniversary.
  4. Bread: Possibly a little flaky, but easily delighted. You could do worse.
  5. Gravy: Probably a sloppy kisser.
  6. Pie: Pumpkin-this person is more likely a romantic, who loves the pomp of the holidays (probably loves Valentine’s day too). Pecan-This person is not fooling around if it’s dessert it’s going to be a butter, sugary haven of one. Probably wants to have sex all the time.

 

Well, what’s your favorite…and what are you in for?

 

 

It’s that summer loving that can be a blast….so perhaps it’s no real surprise that, according to Facebook, most users change their status to “Single” to mingle during the summer months.

Some say it was great while it lasted, partly because the season lent itself to tons of activities, weekends filled with weddings, barbecues, rooftop cocktail parties, or the first and last time you’ve tried to have sex on the beach! All are more opportunities as a result to meet more ‘friend of a friend’ people and date them.  Summer relationships typically do cool off in the fall, but you can’t blame the season.

My advice now that fall is approaching is to pay attention to your standards rather than just being happy you’ve met someone to go out with!

Many singles say they’re in the same boat; anxious, overwhelmed with wide-eyes, hoping for the best and just days away from a new set of resolutions to find love in 2018!  If you’re single and want to get into a relationship in the coming year, you can’t expect to do the same things over and over again expecting different results.  So, if you were unhappy in romance last year, I’ve absolutely got you covered with these great steps to say goodbye to a lonely 2017 and have a happy 2018!

Embrace being Single; Not in the sense of accepting it, but by living your life happily as a single person. The irony is that when you embrace the single life in this way, you become much more attractive to others. A fun, confident person living his or her life to the fullest is very attractive. Be that person!

Get a Life; Meaning an active social life. Besides, attraction involves lots of biological functions, which doesn’t always translate well to photos and bios online. If your social network is limited, then check out activities that you’ll enjoy and meet other people. So, if you like running, do a running event. If you’re into board games, find something related to that.

Give Chances; Give people you normally wouldn’t a chance. Now, I’m not saying to settle (see next resolution). But, I am talking about this scenario: you meet someone cool and you feel attraction. You get to know him or her and you click. But, since that person “isn’t your type” or is too old, young, short, tall, poor, rich, or anything else you’ve set in your head as an artificial boundary, you are tempted to stop the budding relationship. Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.

Don’t Settle; While you should always keep an open mind to good people you find attractive (see previous resolution), you don’t want to go the other route where you settle with someone simply because you’re lonely or feel pressure to “settle down.”

 

Ahhh New Year’s Resolutions. They’re a great opportunity to really set ourselves up for some magnificent failures and  remarkable victories in finding LOVE…………amirite?