Most of the people I meet who are venturing back into the dating world have no idea what they want in a partner. Oh, don’t kid yourself they have a list a mile-long of qualities and traits that they are certain they will not tolerate again but the one thing they have a hard time telling me is what they are looking for.
For some, not having a clue of what they wanted in a partner has in the past lead to some epic dating adventures. Simply because they have either given everyone a chance or let some good ones pass them by, meeting several colorful personalities with whom have developed into platonic friendships, along with a handful of whack jobs that had them thinking of never dating again. Starting to sound familiar?
Thru all this trial and error, they discover what it is that they are actually looking for – someone to do nothing with. The concept of having someone to do nothing with should not be confused with having nothing in common. Having nothing in common generally equates to having separate interests, which often leads to having separate lives. But hear me out.
Having someone to do nothing with is finding someone to spend your unscheduled moments with — the person you share the comfortable silence with when you’re driving, or the one you lean against when you’re on the couch surfing Pinterest for dinner ideas. They’re the one that you enjoy your morning cup of coffee with, or the one that chats with you while you’re folding laundry.
They’re the person in your world that makes your everyday living moments better simply because they’re in your presence. While I’m an advocate for date night and the important role it plays in a relationship, I have come to realize that most neglect the importance of finding someone that simply wants to be with them — no activities, no schedules, just enjoying the company of one another.