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I have noticed that for most of the singles I speak to, including me, surrendering is often the hardest thing to do.  And to be realistic, it’s hard to entirely step away from hustle-culture when you are in a life you are passionate about and a romantic relationship you want to progress in.

Well, that hustle-culture has finally hit dating.  And when things are not going the way, we wanted them to, then we give up.  We think that something is wrong with us or the person we’re meant for or the love we are desiring to find, doesn’t exist.

If this is you, imagine this VALENTINE’S DAY to consider your journey to attracting romantic love. It’s like driving, you’re on a journey and when you meet your love you’ll be excited and know that there will be detours along the way (unfavorable dates, no one calling you back, not asking you out on a second or third date, emotionally unavailable singles, etc.) and that you may have to do things differently than you had preferred, and it may take you longer to get to him/her than you expected but eventually you’ll meet and you’ll be so happy that you didn’t give up.

So, decide that from now on if your dating life is unfolding in a certain way and the only reason you are resisting is because of a personal preference, why not let go of that preference and let life be in charge.

I’m confident it’s the most powerful thing that you can do.

 

It’s almost Christmas time again and, to borrow the words of a famous disco hit in the 70’s “Love is in the air”.   And its a well-known fact that love is “in the air” every Christmas. It features in songs we hear as we shop, commercials we see, and present in the cards we send and the words we write on the tags we attach to the presents we give.  With Love From……

But when you read them phrase by phrase, and apply them to yourself, if you are single, they can transpose into a different key altogether. It can cease to be rhetorically pleasing and emotionally soothing;  instead, they become a deeply challenging analysis of your single life.

Perhaps that’s not what we expected this Christmas time….but when romantic love visits you again, I pray it stays till next Christmas.

 

 

                                                                                         

One word:  LOVE —  It’s ingrained in my mind and heart and guides my thinking, everyday.

But for some singles, it can feel like a hard word.  Which can actually be good for you, as it can give cause to stop, pause and think, “Love”.  Even when it’s hard and feels almost unattainable like a pie-in-the-sky kind of emotional crutch,  in your world.

Which is why I’m thankful in knowing in no uncertain terms what love looks like.

Here’s what I have learned;

  • Sometimes love looks like waiting,
  • Sometimes love looks like listening,
  • Sometimes love makes us uncomfortable,
  • Sometimes love is exhausting.

And yet LOVE continues toward the purpose it was given.

 

Can you explain LOVE in one sentence ?

 

 

Dating takes resilience.  And the more opportunities you give yourself, the better the chances you’ll find that person.  So maybe its not so surprising and even more encouraging that 90% of the singles I speak to who believe in true love say they know this because they have experienced it.  It’s the strongest emotion we’ll ever feel. So, I set off and researched what professors are saying.  So here you go;

Scientists say that there are three stages of love- lust, romantic obsession, and long-term attachment. 

Stage 1; Let’s start with LUST (who wouldn’t) and that took me to the beach at spring break in Fort Lauderdale….can you relate?

Stage 2; Romantic obsession, or attraction. You’re obsessed, it takes over your whole life, like a state of need, you can’t eat, sleep, or think straight. Sounds like a scene from a movie.  Can’t imagine a world with everyone in that state of romantic obsession. We’d all be nuts.

Stage 3; Which is why, with any luck, romantic obsession becomes Attachment. So, I reconnected with a couple I matched 20 years ago, that was certainly still attached with a combined 4 children, 15 grandchildren, and a couple of great grandchildren.

I came away from this with a renewed sense that true love does really exist. Part of being a matchmaker is, you know, trying to solve the unsolvable. What brings two singles together? What makes people stay together?  I guess there are no real-life answers as there is there is no research on the work that it takes to sustain it over a long period of time. I’m not sure why, maybe because it boring!!!!….like the day in and day out of who’s getting the toilet paper.

 

Your comments?

contact [email protected] 

 

There is just something about a long weekend that makes us all feel so much more relaxed than a regular weekend.  The weather can be awful, or you might not be feeling great, it doesn’t matter because you got that long weekend feeling. But if you are single it can feel like an emotional wilderness where interactions are minimal, and you are at odds with one’s capable weekday self.

To counter this, it’s about keep going and look at all the positives. This guy is never in the dumps because he doesn’t have a partner.  He would just love to meet someone who’s active and outdoorsy, and actually interested in him.

He’s an amazing single Dad, in his 40’s, navigating his world running a prominent business in BC and saving time this long weekend for more fun things like hiking , cycling, fishing and is an authentic esteemed chef securing his first ever of the season spot prawns. He is spontaneous, loves travel – so he’s hired us while he enjoys his long weekend.

 

If you are open to meeting a really amazing guy and you are in your 30’s message us to learn more and a chance to meet him, face to face, or pass it on to your best girlfriends, no cost to you.

[email protected]

 

 

 

Like all people, we are deserving of love and connection. Here are a couple things to keep in mind for anyone wanting to avoid  the so-called, real life  Tinder Swindler while navigating the world in today’s dating.

Experiences have taught me that practiced too early on (before trust and a foundation have been established), excessive written contact between a potential partner can fuel the engine of fantasy relationships.  We often fill in the missing spaces and unknowns with our own details. This can lead to feeling letdown when the in-person counterpart fails to match up to whatever idealized version our mind has concocted.  For instance, in writing and on the phone, maybe you bonded over what you thought was a shared passion for dogs.  But then, in person, it becomes apparent that their interest is only passing and half-hearted and that they only volunteered at a shelter once.

It’s human nature to be more likely to think the best about someone and mold them into who we want them to be rather than see them for who they really are.  Do yourself a favour and know that it’s basically a fantasy story that can only backfire for us down  the road.

 

Born and raised a Toronto girl with nothing more than passion, a computer, a love for the West Coast, and for the last 20 years I have remained insatiably curious about human connections.

 

What makes singles genuinely happy, successful, and fulfilled while searching for the one? It is possible to dream big without running yourself into the ground, while still remaining optimistic, open, and stress-free.

 

Here’s the good news; I’ve learned from personal experience (and by interviewing some great successful singles), that you can accomplish meeting the one—without burning out. As long as you cultivate the right habits and plan of action.

Everyone’s plan will look a little bit different, but there are some things that should definitely be included;

  1. First and foremost, if you are serious (or even potentially serious) about finding the one is to have a clear head and an open heart.
  2. I will not rush it. It is so important to take your time in letting a connection develop and so worth it in the end. Taking things slowly can not only help you avoid mistakes, but it can also vastly improve your dating skills. There is no substitute for short-cuts.
  3. Seek wise counsel. Even if you are approaching dating with an open heart and committed to taking things slowly, you need to hear from people who know you well and who don’t get goosebumps when they hold your dates hand.

 

Well, there you have it; however, this is by no means an exhaustive list.  If you’d like to find a mentor to talk to about these kinds of things and don’t have one, consider reaching out to me. It would be my honor to support you and cheer you on.

 

It’s an everyday occurrence that we come across a great Single that’s too good not to share!

You might be thinking…. dating ?!?!?  Yet you have likely recognized in your clearest moments that there is a greater possibility for finding love, despite your best efforts. And, like so many of the singles I speak to simply struggle with trying to solve it on their own with no results. But don’t worry.  There is no secret, we only introduce you to great people and we do it everyday for our clients.

This is where this great client living in Victoria BC, comes in.  We have been working with her hand-in-hand and know she is truly a gem.  She is a slim, blue-eyed blonde with a combination of good looks, enthusiasm, and is truly an amazing woman. She exudes a fun demeanor and romantic playfulness; is a wine-lover, foodie, loves live music, handholding and living a balanced, relaxed, healthy life. Her workout clothes are next to her little black dress, and her boots are next to her heels and retired early she makes her home in both Alberta with more time living in Victoria.  She’s a history buff, sees personal investment management as a hobby, and is a strong believer in giving back to her communities.

If you are an active, fit, 60+ gent with an easy laid-back vibe who is more about spending time together enjoying the variety of what a VICTORIA  lifestyle has to offer, sharing adventure, travel, and lively conversations; we can’t imagine your life without her in it.

Contact me here:  [email protected]

Don’t worry; there are no fees

 

As seen in The Times Colonist , Victoria BC ,  Saturday October 2, 2021

 

Even if you’re pretty sure you’re hitting it off with someone, the signs of a good first date aren’t always easy to recognize,  but it’s a safe bet if you both add extra time to your parking meter 😊

While most people probably define a “good date” as one that leads to more dates down the line, that’s not the only or best way to look at it.  What we like to tell our clients is that it’s totally ok if it doesn’t lead to a second.  Don’t get me wrong it can be disappointing if a first date doesn’t turn into a second, but having a good first date is a self-confidence booster.  It can remind you that it’s fine to go out and have fun with someone interesting, rather than staying home staring at your phone.  They can’t all lead to love, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be good fun!

If you are finding more often than not, a date with the same person doesn’t go past one or two dates, it’s time to manage your expectations and cast a wider net.  Here are some tips to having more fun on first dates;

  1. Instead of auditioning to be partner material, you should just go, have fun and bring the best and happiest version of you to the table.
  2. Don’t take anything personally, and  you shouldn’t let one bad date sour your views towards dating.
  3. Don’t get trapped in the job interview date, they are awkward and high stress.
  4. Try to plan a date that is active in some way – good dates are always interactive.
  5. Take comfort in the idea that everyone is uncomfortable, and that is a learning experience. The more you grow, the better a dater you will be. The better a dater you are, the better the fit will be when you do land the relationship.

Me? I’m an optimist- from the unique moments of my clients connecting.

As you might have heard, your main man Santa is back and on the market.  Here are a couple of the many reasons he’s actually a total catch. 

  1. He has the best beard of any man you will ever meet
  2. He’s really buff under all that velour
  3. He’ll never forget to get you presents and knows exactly what you want
  4. He’s great with animals, especially moody reindeer
  5. His ride is a flying magical sleigh

Signed;   Private Matchmaker for Santa