Are they a good time for you? If you think about it, the First First date was Adam and Eve. They settled on apple picking as an activity,
had a serpent as a chaperone and the rest is history.
Today the all-important first date isn’t easy for most. Between the pressure of who’s going to pay,
how to keep the conversation going and how might it end, there are so many moving pieces which for some
can make it a less than appealing way to spend an evening. And yet traditional dates are held up as a
romantic ideal, and a must do if you want to meet someone.
Here are some ways our idea of a “date” has
dramatically varied over the years;
Pre-19th century: Who needs dating when your matchmaking parents can set you up?
Early 1900s: A date involves a “gentleman caller” and is definitely chaperoned
1920s: Dating is about going out and playing the field.
1940s and 1950s: Dating is about procuring a husband ASAP.
1960s and 1970s: A date is really about sex.
1990s: Dating isn’t actually dating, it’s “hooking up.”
So, what does this mean for the picture-perfect first date
today? Given how fast things change (it was only a few years ago swiping right
wasn’t a term we even knew), trying to get a “first date” right isn’t
worth getting stressed over.
For our clients formal dates do still happen, but there’s a
ton of in between that comes from us that by the time the “first date” happens
you’ve already gotten to know so much about the other person that the initial
first face-to-face is exceedingly casual or already has an air or familiarity.
Fact; 48% of all
singles are using Facebook to do their own adept stalking before a date — WE
actually have the first date by meeting them.
Now, it’s all up to you.
contact me at [email protected]
Indifference makes the difference with Dating & Wanting Kids
Whether you are interested or not, Royal Baby madness has gripped which brings up a good question for singles; are you indifferent to having kids? A common answer from a lot of clients when I ask them if they want children is “I’m not against kids, I am indifferent. If my future partner wants kids then I would love to have them.”
For some, it can be a hard time understanding this as having kids is a life-changing event; or the ones stating it , they are just not sure. Of course no one owes anyone an explanation, but when you are dating it can feel like a big deal. There are all sorts of reasons why someone, when on a date, admits to being undecided/open as it creates confusion, but when I ask, the common reason I see most is more the feeling of being rushed or the clock is ticking from someone and that their answer “can go either way” means more….. “NOT RIGHT NOW”.
There are motivations for this ranging from preferring their current lifestyles to prioritizing their careers, and for some it’s a pipe dream, tremendous investment, and that they are not meant to do the parenting thing on their own and want to make sure they have help from a wider village.
As with all dating deal-breakers, there is no benefit before going further into the dating world with a major issue already in place. And it can make all the difference when one rarely mentions it and the others position is inflexible. Its better off if you are looking for someone you can be with long term, for everyone, if you’re up front. Kids are a deal-breaker because you can’t have half a kid!
Leave a comment;
#royalbaby
#MOTHERSDAY
#DATING
#RELATIONSHIPS
Dear Future, 60-something Co-Pilot !
“I’m not sure yet sure whether you exist, though I believe that you do and I am not too concerned with minor details about what you’ll look like, how tall you’ll be or what type of car you’ll drive. However if you happen to be looking for someone who loves hiking, fishing, cooking at home with old friends and love spending time with each other at your place and vice versa; we might have a few things in common. I love living a balanced healthy lifestyle, radiate a fun demeanor with romantic playfulness and optimism. Travel is a big part of my life and I spend most of my time retired living and playing in Victoria, Vancouver Island and Costa Rica.
Yes, Future Co-Pilot, you are an intelligent, independent, physically fit, affectionate, family orientated, inquisitive gentleman 60+ and I can hardly wait to meet you.”
If you are looking to meet a great woman to add to your already full life living in the Victoria, Nanaimo, Parksville, Qualicum Bay, Comox Valley regions and would like to learn more, don’t make her wait. Drop me an email at [email protected] along with a recent photo (and I will send you hers) and we can begin the conversation.
FEES PAID FOR BY THIS CLIENT
As seen in the Parksville/Qualicum Beach News – Thursday May 2, 2019
Are we too old for Boyfriend’s in our 60’s ?
Years ago, most widows, after the death of their husband or a divorcée from a decades long marriage, didn’t remarry or even date again. Now, most want a new next chapter that includes life with a new romantic partner- which begs a common question to those now sharing life’s adventures, how do you introduce him to others?
I have asked several of my re-partnered clients what they call the new man in their lives and was amazed at the dozens of terms they offered. Not surprisingly most felt “boyfriend” sounded immature, “significant other” seemed too formal and “companion” more like an ideal dinner date. So I’ve summarized their alternative suggestions along with a few others I found online. Some are hilarious, a few are moot and others are downright descriptive;
So what do I suggest you introduce the man you are sharing your life with ? Just use his name simply saying “I want you to meet James”. Others will readily see that you’re together on more than a casual date. You can also add, “We’re great partners”, if you think a bit more information would be helpful.
How do you feel about the word “boyfriend”? If you don’t use this term, how do you refer to your partner? Please share your thoughts below!
First Dates- They can’t all Lead to Love
Even if you’re pretty sure you’re hitting it off with someone, the signs of a good first date aren’t always easy to recognize, but it’s a safe bet if you both add extra time to your parking meter 😊
While most people probably define a “good date” as one that leads to more dates down the line, that’s not the only or best way to look at it. What we like to tell our clients is that it’s totally ok if it doesn’t lead to a second. Don’t get me wrong it can be disappointing if a first date doesn’t turn into a second, but having a good first date is a self-confidence booster. It can remind you that it’s fine to go out and have fun with someone interesting, rather than staying home staring at your phone. They can’t all lead to love, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be good fun!
If you are finding more often than not, a date with the same person doesn’t go past one or two dates, it’s time to manage your expectations and cast a wider net. Here are some tips to having more fun on first dates;
Me? I’m an optimist- from the unique moments of my clients connecting.
How to Overcome Singledom Birthday Stress
I am about to celebrate a birthday. Which one, I won’t tell but I don’t feel any older, other than just another day where I have to remember to change the digit when people ask how old I am . But enough about MY birthday!
Birthdays are like your own personal national holiday; the one day a year when you’ve gathered the most important people in your life and they celebrate in your honor, make you feel like royalty, and pretty much let you do whatever you want. Or at the very least, give you a cake and if you are single they say “you know, you’re not getting any younger with indecision, another year”.
So if you think that spending your birthday single is terrifying, here’s a few reasons exactly why you have to do it;
Trust me , you will find that this isn’t difficult at all! What would be difficult is if your birthday is on February 14th ( Valentine’s Day). If you’re a woman, you’ve officially set yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment –now every guy you date will have to do something special, squared. If you’re a guy, you now have to spend your birthday making somebody else feel special, because Hallmark said so.
Put Winter to Bed – Reset your Love Life!
While the stars are in your favor, the Spring Equinox is the perfect time to shake things up a little – rejuvenate stale relationships, get your love life together, and go on a new dating adventure.
So, make the most of the Spring Equinox with a few tips of inspiration for a new romantic pursuit ;
In short, take full advantage of the Spring Equinox and remember to give yourself realistic timelines and goals and the time to enjoy it is now.
Bring. It. On!
The Pros and Cons of First Dates
Are they a good time for you? If you think about it, the First First date was Adam and Eve. They settled on apple picking as an activity, had a serpent as a chaperone and the rest is history.
Today the all-important first date isn’t easy for most. Between the pressure of who’s going to pay, how to keep the conversation going and how might it end, there are so many moving pieces which for some can make it a less than appealing way to spend an evening. And yet traditional dates are held up as a romantic ideal, and a must do if you want to meet someone.
Here are some ways our idea of a “date” has dramatically varied over the years;
Pre-19th century: Who needs dating when your matchmaking parents can set you up?
Early 1900s: A date involves a “gentleman caller” and is definitely chaperoned
1920s: Dating is about going out and playing the field.
1940s and 1950s: Dating is about procuring a husband ASAP.
1960s and 1970s: A date is really about sex.
1990s: Dating isn’t actually dating, it’s “hooking up.”
So, what does this mean for the picture-perfect first date today? Given how fast things change (it was only a few years ago swiping right wasn’t a term we even knew), trying to get a “first date” right isn’t worth getting stressed over.
For our clients formal dates do still happen, but there’s a ton of in between that comes from us that by the time the “first date” happens you’ve already gotten to know so much about the other person that the initial first face-to-face is exceedingly casual or already has an air or familiarity.
Fact; 48% of all singles are using Facebook to do their own adept stalking before a date — WE actually have the first date by meeting them.
Now, it’s all up to you.
contact me at [email protected]
Everybody gets lonely, period!
When I think of Valentine’s Day, (a day for love and togetherness if you are in love), I can’t help but think at the same time that it can be a very trying time for those of us who are Solohood and hate the pressure of Valentine’s Day but love the thought of romance.
There is widespread assumption that single people are lonely, but it turns out anyone can be lonely, and anyone that is alone , isn’t necessarily lonely. According to recent studies over half of the population (54% being single) now say they always or sometimes feel alone, and one in five say they rarely feel close to anyone. So based on this, to be lonely you don’t have to be alone – it’s about the quality of your connections with people, and whether they genuinely relate to you.
Shockingly, most clients we speak to say that the loneliest they have felt is when they were with someone, but were still lonely. The UK government has actually developed a Minister for Loneliness , whose purpose is trying to figure out why Brits are lonely and what interventions can smooth that out…….sounds like a lonely job to me!
Studies also say that the ever-present online activity, single or not, is the main reason why most people feel lonely. If you’re single, the more time (can be years for some) you spend swiping left or right, is counterproductive in the dating world.
Sure, we need vitamins, clean air and connection for our personal well being. However, if you are Single, take some time to notice how much you need actual connection! You might find you are not lonely, you’re just alone.
Happy to chat !
Happy to chat !
It’s, wait what, one month till Valentines Day?
With February 14th right around the corner, get ready for it, you’re about to see heart-shaped balloons and over-sized stuffed animals everywhere….you can just feel the love in the air. And believe it or not, both guys and gals, are about to press the panic button on single life , which really doesn’t make any sense to me.
If you actually take the time to look around , you’ll notice there are a lot more single people walking the streets by themselves than couples holding hands. And just because you’re single on Valentine’s Day, doesn’t mean you’ll be single forever.
Dating – as I am so often reminding people – is a skill. It’s something that you can take control of and improve with conscious effort ……..along with a little help. Part of the point of working with a Matchmaker is to give you highly-specific, personalized advice to make successful dating a reality. I guarantee if you have the right mindset, play your cards right, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll be able to meet someone before February 14th.
Your thoughts?
How to set a Personal Budget for Dating in 2019
We budget everything in our lives — food,entertainment, travel, and so on. One thing we don’t tend to think about in terms of savings though, is dating. When we take somebody out for a night on the town, we tend to want to go all out. This is especially true if you’ve just met someone and are actively trying to impress them. After all, if you took someone out on a first date that consisted of McDonald’s paid with a coupon,followed by a Netflix movie at your buddy’s place, are the chances good for a second date? Maybe not.
However, that doesn’t mean you should spend tons and tons on the dating scene either. If you do, then all your careful budgeting elsewhere goes to waste. Instead, set a monthly budget for dating. Depending on your earnings, this budget can be high or low, though it should realistically never exceed 10% of your monthly income. Stick to this number while still finding ways to have fun, and you’ll earn a reputation for being a fiscally conservative dating machine.
A recent survey has revealed that, in fact, an average date night in Canada clocks in at $125, with those in Vancouver paying the most of all ($149). Globally, however, a date night in Canada is still cheaper than the same date in several other major global cities.
In the end , quality over quantity when it comes to dating……and we can help with that!
Contact [email protected]